Dating someone who (might) still in the closet. Help!

[lrv]

Hello guys.
Here's the thing:
I met this guy on october. We went out for a couple of nights, but it was kind of strange for me because those two nights, we saw each other after 10 or 11. So, we would always be texting and everything, but i noticed something weird on him because he wouldn't answer my texts at times or reply them late. Anyway, one day i went to his house because i wanted to give him something and i wanted to see him, but things were a little bit awkward there and he was kind of nervous (it was during the day but he was alone), so I left, and I asked him if we were going to do something on the weekend, and he said he didn't know and that he might call me later, so I waited for his call and he never called. I never called him again because I thought I was being annoying.
Months passed and I went to a place where I didn't know he was working on twice, and he saw me. Two weeks later he contacted me again and we went out (last friday night), he told me he wanted to see me so bad, and that he liked me, but after that night, everything went the same thing as back in october. What I'm thinking is that he might be affraid that I might force him to get out of the closet, but that's not something i would do because is a long and a very hard process. So, what should I do? Should I leave him? Should I stay and help him deal with this whole situation and keep trying?
I'm going nuts with this.

[Bhp91126]

Ask him wtf is up? So far all you do is speculating, which doesn't help. Next time you meet, do it in some place where you can talk.

[Darius]

I agree with Bhp. Clear the air first to see what his problem is, then decide.
Look at it this way, you have been seeing him for six months now. How is that working out for you? Not well, is it? If he is not willing to come out, you can probably expect more of the same. How old are you guys?

[Pyromancer]

I agree with the others...you two need to have an honest conversation. If the problem is that he isn't out, he needs to share that with you. Another unpleasant question - could he be involved with someone else and conflicted about his interest in you? We could all go on speculating forever, but that would only make a bad situation worse. Ask him what's up, and then you'll know what you're dealing with.

[Borg69]

Sounds to me like he can only play with you on the nights his wife is visiting her mother.

[Camfer]

So you've got some weird ass relationship with someone. Is that what you want? If not, move on because you have no commitment. You can't help someone who isn't looking for help. Help yourself first!

[Lexington]

From the decks of Lex:

Don't ask us.
Ask him.

"Hey, I enjoy seeing you. But I keep getting a weird vibe from you. I'm not sure if you're still closeted, or on the downlow, or what. But I think I'd like to know what's going on before pursuing this any further."

Lex

[lrv]

Thank you guys. I actually did ask him once if he as mad at me for no reason, and he denied it. Maybe I wasn't clear at all.
Thank you all.

I agree with Bhp. Clear the air first to see what his problem is, then decide.
Look at it this way, you have been seeing him for six months now. How is that working out for you? Not well, is it? If he is not willing to come out, you can probably expect more of the same. How old are you guys?

He's 24 and I'm 22.

[Bhp91126]

Thank you guys. I actually did ask him once if he as mad at me for no reason, and he denied it. Maybe I wasn't clear at all.
Thank you all.



He's 24 and I'm 22.

No doubt, that question covered all the bases


Why can't I see you more often?
Are you out?

Where do you see us in 5 years (jk)?

[meridannight]

i can't tell you what you should do, but if i were in that situation i would make one decent effort to start something up with him, and if nothing comes of it, i'd let it go. and it wouldn't be through texting. i would meet with him in person and arrange for us to do something together. if that doesn't work, i'd say the verdict is obvious.