Being recognized as gay...

[cbissbort]

So, first some background information on my situation:

I'm 22, going to UNT (University of North Texas, art-oriented, liberal), am majoring in kinesiology, plan on going to med school and being an ER physician, and am an amateur model and amateur bodybuilder. I also, sadly, completely lack a gaydar (or gayger counter, as I like to call it). I consider myself as being "out" because I never deny it if someone asks if I'm gay, but I don't go around introducing myself like, "Hi, I'm Colin the Buttpirate" or whatnot.

Furthermore, I am one of those guys that is (sadly, according to many) only really interested in/attracted to muscular guys like myself. To be frank, it's not just the physical aspect of being muscular, but the "philosophical" aspect: being so inexorably dedicated to something, and taking care of yourself. However, apparently, very few people can tell that I'm gay, and as previously stated, I have no gaydar. This confluence of traits makes it next to impossible for me to connect with guys that I like, mostly because I'm afraid that they'll be blindsided and off-put when they find out that I'm gay. Having a lifting buddy would be great, but I'd much rather have a boyfriend who lifts.

Therefore, I was considering getting something like a gay pride silicone bracelet, ring, or some other form of accessory that will function as a trigger for people to realize that I like penis.

All thoughts/ideas/suggestions are welcome, except for ones about dyeing my hair, I couldn't stand being a blonde for just over two months, so I'm way done and over with that.

tl;dr: Nobody can tell I'm gay, I want people to know, should I wear a gay pride silicone bracelet or something...?

[Iceblink]

I'm in Palm Springs, one of the gayest places on earth and I see rainbow flags on all kinds of businesses, but rarely do I see anymore some kind of rainbow on people or on cars. They are kind of out of style unless you are going to a pride event. Maybe try a HRC symbol on your vehicle. It is something well known to gay people, but not so much by straight people:


Is there not a gym in your area that attracts more gay men than others do? You should try to go to the places to find the men you are attracted to, instead of doing something to hope they find and recognize you.

[Iceblink]

Maybe you could find something to wear something from one of these places, HRC or the NOH8 campaign. The NOH8 campaign might be something that appeals to a younger audience since it is a younger organization.

http://shop.hrc.org/jewelry-watches/for-the-wrist.html

http://www.noh8campaign.com/store-items

[cbissbort]

Well, to clarify, I'd like to be noticed while I'm *AT* UNT. Denton, TX is a small-ish, college-ish 'city', located 45-60 minutes from the true gay areas of Dallas/Fort Worth. This town is inverted in the sense that there really are no "gay" centers or "gay" hangouts/places/bars/restaurants/etc, it's rather dispersed. The one affordable gym in Denton (on a college budget), is the gym I used to have a membership with, but after some supremely unprofessional conduct on the part of several upper management members at that gym, I cancelled with them.

While I don't live on campus (couldn't get a dorm, apartments are cheaper, and they don't have student kitchens), I do go to my college's rec center (which is where virtually every guy on campus that I have the hots for works out at), and honestly spend most of my waking hours on campus. I'm compressing a four year degree and nearly 40 extra semester hours of premed classes into 3 years. I have time for a guy in my life, but not one that lives in Dallas, which is where they all seem to.

While the HRC symbol is a good idea, it's not really like anyone would know who I am based off of my car. If I had a Lamborghini or my dad's corvette, that would be a different story most likely. I've put some thought into this, but haven't found a viable solution yet, which is why I've sought advice here. I figured that the rainbow-on-a-person was out of style, I see plenty of fellow gays on campus and have yet to see a rainbow on one of them.

I am so lost and just so tired of having every think/expect I'm straight. I can't change how I act, so I need some alternatives...

[cbissbort]

Ughhhhhh I wish that "Love" wristband had color choicesssssss.......! It's really nice

[meridannight]

I'm 22, going to UNT (University of North Texas, art-oriented, liberal), am majoring in kinesiology, plan on going to med school and being an ER physician

i think that's exciting. it's a very interesting field of study. good luck on your ambition.

However, apparently, very few people can tell that I'm gay, and as previously stated, I have no gaydar. This confluence of traits makes it next to impossible for me to connect with guys that I like, mostly because I'm afraid that they'll be blindsided and off-put when they find out that I'm gay. Having a lifting buddy would be great, but I'd much rather have a boyfriend who lifts.

i hear you. i wish people didn't just assume that every guy in their vicinity was straight, but unfortunately this is how it is. i've felt frustration with it myself occasionally. my preferred way out of such circumstances is to be naturally expressive with my partner/date in such situations. that usually gets the point across very well. but you need another guy to pull that off. i'm not talking about some overt PDA either, just a subtle affection will do.

[Iceblink]

If you want to wear something, then go for a bracelet or some kind of dog tag-type necklace. Those would be acceptable to wear over and over again. If I ran into a guy all the time with the same shirt on, I'd start to wonder if it was the only thing he owned.

[cbissbort]

i hear you. i wish people didn't just assume that every guy in their vicinity was straight, but unfortunately this is how it is. i've felt frustration with it myself occasionally. my preferred way out of such circumstances is to be naturally expressive with my partner/date in such situations. that usually gets the point across very well. but you need another guy to pull that off. i'm not talking about some overt PDA either, just a subtle affection will do.

Ah the classic stalemate: "need a guy to show other guys who all think I like girls that I like guys."

I have a solution to that stalemate, but I would *NEVER* consider implementing it. The solution is as follows:
1) Start dating a guy that is available and interested in dating me. (He will, almost without a doubt, not be my type.)
2) Initiate PDA at the gym
3) Repeat step two several days per week for a couple weeks
4) Dump the guy once I'm sure people know I'm gay

TO REITERATE: I WOULD *NEVER* DO THE ABOVE. I don't believe in using people, I believe in achieving success through honest, cordial means. I can be sassy, but I'm not a dick.

[jimcrackcorn]

Buy a few "gay tee-shirts" from one of the various websites such as this one:

http://www.zazzle.com/gay+tshirts?pg=2

That should do the trick...

[TwisttheLeaf]

It's not a bad idea IMO. I have one myself. Not silicone, but one made of paracord that my sister made for me. They're easy to find on the internet with the search term "rainbow paracord bracelet".

Prior to hooking up with Gideon, I wore it pretty often.