Being recognized as gay...

[phillyboy1234]

There are plenty of ways to go about it without changing how you present yourself. Consider:

--Are you involved in your campus gay group? If they do not have one, I notice that you say that it is not far from a larger city in Texas--they are likely to have a gay center you could join.

--If not in person, most cities have a page dedicated to promoting gay-specific events in the city, things like bar tours, speakers, plays, etc. Join it and feel proud. You may see something you like and ultimately go to, but more importantly it sends a subtle hint to those on your friend list who see it pop up on your wall that you joined that group.

--Do you have gay friends? Joining a site like okcupid and meetup can help you here, although meetup is mainly a place to get info about local meetups, so you need to actually go.

--Finally in person, what do you talk about? Showing full fledged support for the Indiana religious freedom law isn't going to convince anyone that you are gay. You don't need to be combative in your views, but clearly expressing support of gay rights sends a message.

Anyway, none of these involve changing your appearance. But they send a message. Keep in mind then when adjusting your lifestyle (in this case, to meet people), it takes time. You don't win friends overnight, and you certainly don't find yourself in a long term relationship in the snap of a finger. Just like people who want to take vices out of their life, like to stop smoking or to lose weight, adding good things into your life takes time, effort, and working at it--but eventually it becomes who you are.

[cbissbort]

what the fuck? this is not what i meant. i meant when i am in public (or among colleagues/acquaintances who are not my friends) with a guy i am already intimate and romantically/sexually involved with then i am naturally physically expressive with him in that company. which usually is enough to give away my orientation to people who are paying attention.

don't make fucking assumptions based on abstract arbitrary thinking. it's a ''solution'' you came up with. it's never even crossed my mind in my whole 31 years of life. and it's fucking insulting. having some anonymous person on the internet impose such a warped line of thought on mine does not go down well with me.

i find the whole scenario or ''solution'' you proposed repulsive.

Apparently, you missed the parts where I said I'd never even consider it. You should read my post more thoroughly before going ahead and overreacting as you have done. Until you do that, I believe I will continue to converse with the others on this thread, all of whom have been exceedingly helpful. Good day sir.

[cbissbort]

There are plenty of ways to go about it without changing how you present yourself. Consider:

--Are you involved in your campus gay group? If they do not have one, I notice that you say that it is not far from a larger city in Texas--they are likely to have a gay center you could join.

--If not in person, most cities have a page dedicated to promoting gay-specific events in the city, things like bar tours, speakers, plays, etc. Join it and feel proud. You may see something you like and ultimately go to, but more importantly it sends a subtle hint to those on your friend list who see it pop up on your wall that you joined that group.

--Do you have gay friends? Joining a site like okcupid and meetup can help you here, although meetup is mainly a place to get info about local meetups, so you need to actually go.

--Finally in person, what do you talk about? Showing full fledged support for the Indiana religious freedom law isn't going to convince anyone that you are gay. You don't need to be combative in your views, but clearly expressing support of gay rights sends a message.

Anyway, none of these involve changing your appearance. But they send a message. Keep in mind then when adjusting your lifestyle (in this case, to meet people), it takes time. You don't win friends overnight, and you certainly don't find yourself in a long term relationship in the snap of a finger. Just like people who want to take vices out of their life, like to stop smoking or to lose weight, adding good things into your life takes time, effort, and working at it--but eventually it becomes who you are.

I believe there are a couple gay groups, I'll have to check them out. Still, free time is an issue for me... This is my first semester at this university, so I'm still getting to know the layout and whatnot of the campus. The nearest larger city is a 45-60 minute drive, which, for a college student, is prohibitively expensive in terms of both time and money.

I just moved here, so I'm still working on making new friends. I have a couple gay friends, but so far they've been unable to help me find a man. Our schedules are nearly completely inverted, so it's hard for us to find time to hang out.

Oh, I've been very vocal against the Indiana law. I do try to take the opportunities to express my support of equality when I can, but people don't seem to interpret that as me waving a vocal version of a pride flag. I'm generally a nice guy, a bit sassy at times, as you may have seen in a reply or two I've made here.

I think that some people may suspect that I'm gay, but a slight modification of my appearance may be the final straw that some people need without me just flat out saying that I like dudes. *sigh*

[cbissbort]

This is literally a problem I had when I was 19. I remember whining to my friend about it... "How will I know my people?!"... and he got me this triangle pin. Which turns out to be the symbol the nazis put on us in concentration camps... well, anyway...

That's...... I can't really find the words to express myself.... Amazement? Shock? :/

[JackTX]

Thanks for all the advice guys, please keep it coming, I'll take as much as I can get. (double entendres not withstanding haha)

Howbout a t-shirt that just says, "I LOVE PENIS!" :p

Lots of bracelets here:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_1?fs...2941120011

Some of the forum restrictions will lift as you post more.

[LJay]

I almost voted for wearing nothing. Though it might be chilly in the winte, it would at least signal availability. Instead I went for a ring. After all, your hands ae visible and you could wear it all the time.

[himself]

Well, whenever two gay males' penises touch each other, they usually activate. But that's kind of hard to do if you don't know the other person is gay, so I suppose it's a sort of Catch-22 situation.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Also, the system seems to want moderators to review my posts before they are published? Not sure why, but apparently I have stuff in the Mod queue, so it hasn't been posted yet.

This has to do with you being new to the forum. It happens to everyone (randomly) until they reach 50 posts.

[cbissbort]

I almost voted for wearing nothing. Though it might be chilly in the winte, it would at least signal availability. Instead I went for a ring. After all, your hands ae visible and you could wear it all the time.

Exactly why I bought a rainbow paracord bracelet, my wrists are always visible, and I can wear it while lifting (unlike a ring). Also, you never know when 7ish feet of cord will come in handy. Tourniquet anyone?

[cbissbort]

Well, whenever two gay males' penises touch each other, they usually activate. But that's kind of hard to do if you don't know the other person is gay, so I suppose it's a sort of Catch-22 situation.

Which is exactly why I've come here seeking help. There are some absolutely stunning guys at my university. Statistically speaking, a small percentage of them are bound to be gay or bisexual. I'd like to get to know them, even if they aren't interested in being in a relationship, they may know someone like them who is. Also I can never have enough lifting buddies or gay friends.

Sadly, many guys who lift are off put by gay guys, especially when they think you're straight and then find out that you're not. i guess that's a culture shock of sorts, but it's still a pain to have to deal with it.