Being recognized as gay...

[East]

Two things.....

I had a longtime friend of mine...known him since I was 21...tell me one day when I was maybe 36 that for some reason he didn't "think I was gay". Now...this is a guy who I went to dinners/parties/clubbing with. He was actually a bigger slut than me. He was also one of the only other surviving guys our age at the time...most all of our friends had died by then...

It was a slow night when I was bartending he told me that and I was kind of put off. The guy had seen me with tons of guys..kissing...in love...even fucking...so I was a little miffed and I wanted him to explain what he meant. He said he "couldn't put his finger on it" but there was just something that was "different"....hmmmmmmm

The only thing I could think of is that I never went on about any guy being "cute" like all of my friends did.....and I didn't really give a fuck about clothes or hair .....and the guys most of them were interested in bored the fuck out of me and I would rather spend a week in a salt mine with open sores and no water than have to go on a date with the guys everyone else seemed to fawn over....LOL....but other than that...I am definitely gay.

The other thing...I may not have a gaydar...but I have a good faggot meter. I reserve the term "faggot" for men and even women who are gay but instead of accepting it decide to unleash hell on the rest of us....those who embrace and encourage homophobia instead...I can easily spot them....

They are usually conservative or Prominent Republicans....

Case in Point:

Marcus Bachmann...Tea Party Darling husband of Michelle Bachmann who runs a gay conversion therapy program for teens...helping them "overcome" their gayness





...and there are so many others....

Aaron Schock...Republican Congressman...his record on LGBT legislation speaks for itself



...and there are so many more faggots running around...

They don't deserve to be called gay or be included in the LGBT category. Being gay is a priveledge IMO

[Kenny221]

Ok, well, sure, that's true. I'm sure there are people around me (at work, at the gym, passers by walking down the street, etc.) that *are* gay but I don't get that vibe from them (or w/e). I'm not exactly a flaming queen, myself, and I know *sometimes* people (mostly women) are surprised to learn I'm gay. With men its a bit different because if you're straight chances are you mostly don't give a fuck. On the other hand, if you're a gay man, you're way more likely to be asking this question in your head and looking for 'clues'.

All I'm saying is, based solely on your instagram pix, I would *assume* that you were gay. IRL, if there were some reason I needed to know for sure, I'd look for verification. If you were wearing a gay symbol, that would be all the verification I needed. So, its not like there is any reason to not do that... you should do whatever you feel comfortable with and makes you feel happy! I'm just saying, I don't think this is as big a problem as you're making it out to be! The guys you're interested in -- other gay body builder types -- are not going to have a huge problem figuring you out.

THAT SAID... there ARE gay body builders who DO NOT come across as "gay" at all (and I know this from first hand experience). That is, they come across as Alpha (Psychological and social dominant) males:



Neither you (nor I) am in that category.

In my social group, I'd probably consider as a Beta. Just in-general, I always play second-in-command in projects or team-related events. I actually quite enjoy being second instead of the leader , it's alot less stress to know that the burden won't be hugely on you if things should go wrong, but yet you can still contribute greatly to whatever that is on hand.

[phillyboy1234]

So, as a counterpoint to the people saying that "gays will know you're gay," well I'm gay, and so is [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] and neither of us can tell if other people are gay. So it's plausible, if not probable, that there's a guy or two or more at the rec center who're gay, but also lack a gaydar. So. Yeah.

This is life.

You will meet guys and wonder if they are gay, and you will either work a way to find out or you won't. Similarly you will meet guys and never question nor care, either because you are convinced that they are straight or you have no interest. Ultimately you will learn a way to approach men such that you know if they are interested or not.

Until then, I think you need to share with us how well the jewelry works. It will be a great experiment!

[Albie]

This topic made me look online to find something to wear myself. I refuse to wear T-Shirts, other than plain to complement my wardrobe. I am not muscular, so a dogtag would look really stupid on me. I found a bracelet I like that I may order on my next paycheck. I was looking for something a bit on the subtler side, as I find most gay pride things to be extremely ugly and in your face, lol.

[cbissbort]

Well almost everything I ordered will arrive by Sunday, so I'll be able to let you guys know how it goes within the next couple of weeks. I hope it'll help, but who knows. That's why scientists experiment!

[ShiftyNJ]

East[/url] has pointed out several times that he feels whether a guy is interested or not, or whether they'll be having sex. it's the same for me, those parts could have been written by me. i can feel a guy. i'm not saying that i know this about every guy. it's not the case with everyone (where would be the fun with that?), some guys are more difficult to read, and some guys are just on the uncertain side. but with some guys it's just obvious. and when it's there i know. and, likewise, with others it's obvious that there is no interest.

I'm jealous. I pick up on subtlety well, especially when applied with sledgehammer. I get told later by friends "That person was totally hitting on you" and I am like "Wow, where was I?" Of course they never found a way to communicate this to me while still in the situation.

[ShiftyNJ]

In my social group, I'd probably consider as a Beta. Just in-general, I always play second-in-command in projects or team-related events. I actually quite enjoy being second instead of the leader , it's alot less stress to know that the burden won't be hugely on you if things should go wrong, but yet you can still contribute greatly to whatever that is on hand.

This chart is interesting. I think I'm a gamma. I watch what goes on in social networks and laugh; the opinions of these people matter very little to me.

[Rareboy]

Just keep wearing the Hollister shirt. That's pretty gay.

And congrats on your progress over the last 8 months!!!

[cbissbort]

Update:

I've gotten all my gear and have been wearing it for almost a week. Definitely been getting a TON of stares/looks, especially when I'm working out in the "You suck... I like that in a man" shirt. I'm not being a "predatory gay," but I'm certainly looking at the guys that I like. Occasionally they'll see me looking and I'll coyly smirk and look away. I actually had a guy stop me in the cafeteria and say "you have a nice butt." I didn't pursue it, but that's because I was rushed on time and needed to chow down. Hopefully, one of these closeted guys will warm up to me. I'm damned sure I'm not the only muscular gay guy at my university. At least people are actually recognizing me for who I am instead of who they assume/presume I am.

[JackTX]

Update:

I've gotten all my gear and have been wearing it for almost a week. Definitely been getting a TON of stares/looks, especially when I'm working out in the "You suck... I like that in a man" shirt. I'm not being a "predatory gay," but I'm certainly looking at the guys that I like. Occasionally they'll see me looking and I'll coyly smirk and look away. I actually had a guy stop me in the cafeteria and say "you have a nice butt." I didn't pursue it, but that's because I was rushed on time and needed to chow down. Hopefully, one of these closeted guys will warm up to me. I'm damned sure I'm not the only muscular gay guy at my university. At least people are actually recognizing me for who I am instead of who they assume/presume I am.

I try to figure out who at the gym is gay all the time but it's really hard in many cases and I also don't want to be That Creepy Guy Who Keeps Staring At Me. There are a few that it's hard not to stare at though

I find the whole place to be extremely anti-social in general. There's all these people jam-packed together but most don't want to be there any longer than they have to and/or have headphones on. I started referring to the members as "the other inmates" after spending too much time there last year.

And coincidentally, I saw this shirt on Amazon the other day. The seller has some really cool designs and a few hilarious ones. I ordered one to see how it fits. If it's flattering, I'm going for broke! But they had a bunch of rainbowy ones, some more overt, some more subtle:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KRIO...MPAWSHUXXN