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cbissbort Wrote:Hopefully, one of these closeted guys will warm up to me. I'm damned sure I'm not the only muscular gay guy at my university. At least people are actually recognizing me for who I am instead of who they assume/presume I am. Thanks for the update... but, do you really think a *closeted* guy is going to show interest publicly? However much he might notice you, it seems to me if he's truly *closeted* the last thing he's going to do is risk being seen as interested in, let alone hanging out with, "the gay guy". I don't know, this is based on my admittedly limited and dated experience.
I'd think making yourself obvious would appeal to more out or at least comfortable with their sexuality type guys.
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JackBoneTX Wrote:I find the whole place to be extremely anti-social in general. There's all these people jam-packed together but most don't want to be there any longer than they have to and/or have headphones on.
Not sure what gym you went to, but I've never experienced the whole "anti-social" aspect. Granted, there are plenty of people who don't want to be there, but if you do lift, you WANT to be at the gym. It's somewhere that you're comfortable.
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MikeW Wrote:Thanks for the update... but, do you really think a *closeted* guy is going to show interest publicly? However much he might notice you, it seems to me if he's truly *closeted* the last thing he's going to do is risk being seen as interested in, let alone hanging out with, "the gay guy". I don't know, this is based on my admittedly limited and dated experience.
I'd think making yourself obvious would appeal to more out or at least comfortable with their sexuality type guys.
Or perhaps the guys who are not comfortable with their sexuality will be influenced by a guy that looks and acts just like them, yet is comfortable with his own sexuality. Lots of Negative Nancy-ness going on here :/
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cbissbort Wrote:Or perhaps the guys who are not comfortable with their sexuality will be influenced by a guy that looks and acts just like them, yet is comfortable with his own sexuality. Lots of Negative Nancy-ness going on here :/ Sorry, not meaning to be negative, you're making a valid point. I agree, being out does help others to come out themselves.
It just depends on where the individual guy is in terms of his coming out process. If he's accepted himself enough that he feels comfortable being identified as gay by others, then, yeah, it could be a huge help. OTOH, if the guy is deep in the closet and wants or needs to be "discreet" or "OTDL" -- that's a whole other matter. I assume you don't want to be dealing with their paranoia anyway.
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MikeW Wrote:Sorry, not meaning to be negative, you're making a valid point. I agree, being out does help others to come out themselves.
It just depends on where the individual guy is in terms of his coming out process. If he's accepted himself enough that he feels comfortable being identified as gay by others, then, yeah, it could be a huge help. OTOH, if the guy is deep in the closet and wants or needs to be "discreet" or "OTDL" -- that's a whole other matter. I assume you don't want to be dealing with their paranoia anyway.
I completely agree. If they're on the threshold of their closet, maybe I can coax them out. However, if they're deep in it or want to be discreet/DL, then I'm not interested anyway, I don't want to deal with that paranoia.
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cbissbort Wrote:Not sure what gym you went to, but I've never experienced the whole "anti-social" aspect. Granted, there are plenty of people who don't want to be there, but if you do lift, you WANT to be at the gym. It's somewhere that you're comfortable.
I just mean that no one really talks to me, so it does feel a bit anti-social. I fully accept that it could be me though. And I personally do want to be there most days and enjoy what I get out of it, even if it doesn't always feel like the friendliest place :p
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JackBoneTX Wrote:I just mean that no one really talks to me, so it does feel a bit anti-social. I fully accept that it could be me though. And I personally do want to be there most days and enjoy what I get out of it, even if it doesn't always feel like the friendliest place :p
Fair enough, I can see where you're coming from. I can definitely say that my University's rec center is MUUUUCH more social than my previous gym. I mostly attribute that to the facts that we all attend the same school, tend to have the same classes, and generally interact with each other more outside of the gym, which seems to carry over heavily.
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JackBoneTX Wrote:I just mean that no one really talks to me, so it does feel a bit anti-social. I fully accept that it could be me though. And I personally do want to be there most days and enjoy what I get out of it, even if it doesn't always feel like the friendliest place :p
This has been my experience too, especially since iPods have kicked in... everybody has earbuds in and is in the zone unless they already know each other. This was not the case when I started lifting in the 90s. it was a lot easier to interact, get a spot, and learn from each other.
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Being recognized as gay...
