What's the hope?

[MikeW]

I don't know... I guess I'm hoping someone will say something or do something that will push me... I know it probably makes no sense, but it's beyond my capabilities to seek help right now. It's not that I don't want to make an effort... I am just not able to. I need someone to step in and take me out of this place I am I guess...

Thanks for that post Camfer... but I don't think I have it in me to do the same that guy did. I just really don't believe in myself anymore.

I guess I have to get used to the idea of being on my own. I need to learn to be okay with that.


Anyway... I'm sorry for talking about this nonsense..

THIS IS NOT NONSENSE! This is your life. I see what you're doing as a kind of cry for help. The way you've put it is rather pathetic, as if you have no control over your life.

One of the most difficult things for someone in your position (and I know this from having been there myself) is to "get it" that your life is not out of your control. Everything you're experiencing -- your sense of apathy, lack of self worth, lack of motivation, probably a lot of you physical appearance -- all of that -- is a "construct". That is, these are individual pieces of a whole that re-inforce one another.

I'm going to tell you, as bad as your situation may be right now, I know guys around your age who are WAY worse off. And each of them is stuck inside their own self-made prison of despondency playing the perpetual POOR ME game. "Poor me, no one will ever love me because I'm ugly." (or whatever)

Well, you know, life sucks AND it is extraordinarily beautiful. Seriously. It is the most awesomely wonderful thing imaginable AND it is a living hell on earth. That's life. That's the way it is.

Now, if you get stuck ONLY paying attention to the shit, that's ALL you will ever see or know. Your life will suck and it will suck even more as you get older.

NOW is the time to begin turning that around. NOW is the *only* time you *can* begin to turn it around. You do it by stepping back from your self-pity-party and looking at it. YOU are in control of it. No one else. You can stop it. No one else can. You can turn it around. No one else can. Yes, you can. And if you don't, that's on you, no one else.

[estudantet]

THIS IS NOT NONSENSE! This is your life. I see what you're doing as a kind of cry for help. The way you've put it is rather pathetic, as if you have no control over your life.

One of the most difficult things for someone in your position (and I know this from having been there myself) is to "get it" that your life is not out of your control. Everything you're experiencing -- your sense of apathy, lack of self worth, lack of motivation, probably a lot of you physical appearance -- all of that -- is a "construct". That is, these are individual pieces of a whole that re-inforce one another.

I'm going to tell you, as bad as your situation may be right now, I know guys around your age who are WAY worse off. And each of them is stuck inside their own self-made prison of despondency playing the perpetual POOR ME game. "Poor me, no one will ever love me because I'm ugly." (or whatever)

Well, you know, life sucks AND it is extraordinarily beautiful. Seriously. It is the most awesomely wonderful thing imaginable AND it is a living hell on earth. That's life. That's the way it is.

Now, if you get stuck ONLY paying attention to the shit, that's ALL you will ever see or know. Your life will suck and it will suck even more as you get older.

NOW is the time to begin turning that around. NOW is the *only* time you *can* begin to turn it around. You do it by stepping back from your self-pity-party and looking at it. YOU are in control of it. No one else. You can stop it. No one else can. You can turn it around. No one else can. Yes, you can. And if you don't, that's on you, no one else.

I never said it was anyone else's fault.

I don't understand why you're all getting so angry.

I was looking for some kind of reassurance, that's all.

Sorry about anything, and take care,

[ceez]

I never said it was anyone else's fault.

I don't understand why you're all getting so angry.

I was looking for some kind of reassurance, that's all.

Sorry about anything, and take care,

Don't worry about it, you have nothing to be sorry for they just really want to help and it sucks because we can't physically be there for you. I would, I think it might be a good thing to hang around someone as depressed as myself. I have self esteem issues too (starting to loose your hair at 17 will do that) and I can't bring myself to contact a therapist either, actually a lot of people in the closet have that same problem. I have the same fear of being outed if I go. I did manage to find out how to get motivated to start working out, it's a combination of sleep and lots of caffeine. I know it sucks and it feels like you're alone on an island but if I can still hold on then I know you can. What helps me some times is looking at something funny, something inspirational or what I love to do is play some video games, excellent way to escape.

[MikeW]

I never said it was anyone else's fault.

I don't understand why you're all getting so angry.

I was looking for some kind of reassurance, that's all.

Sorry about anything, and take care,

I'm not angry and I doubt anyone else was either. I am speaking bluntly and forcefully because you're making it sound like you're giving up on your life. So, I'm trying to kick your butt a bit. But "angry" I'm not.

[MikeW]

...I did manage to find out how to get motivated to start working out, it's a combination of sleep and lots of caffeine. ...

[estudantet]

I'm not angry and I doubt anyone else was either. I am speaking bluntly and forcefully because you're making it sound like you're giving up on your life. So, I'm trying to kick your butt a bit. But "angry" I'm not.

I guess I am giving up. At least from my "gay life". I have to learn how to focus on other aspects of my life... maybe try to make them better cause pretty much everything sucks right now..

And I'm sorry, being forceful only made me feel like shit... that doesn't work on me.

[ceez]

I guess I am giving up. At least from my "gay life". I have to learn how to focus on other aspects of my life... maybe try to make them better cause pretty much everything sucks right now..

And I'm sorry, being forceful only made me feel like shit... that doesn't work on me.

You sound so much like myself, but later on in life you will want to focus on your gay life and finding a mate. For now it is good to focus on career/studies or whatever else you have going on, just make sure it will get you where you want to be down the line.

[trywait]

I never said it was anyone else's fault.

I don't understand why you're all getting so angry.

I was looking for some kind of reassurance, that's all.

Sorry about anything, and take care,

you sound like someone else I know. carbon copy to be exact...instead of playing the "victim" play the "victor."

self-pity can only take you so far...

[Camfer]

I don't know... I guess I'm hoping someone will say something or do something that will push me...

And I'm sorry, being forceful only made me feel like shit... that doesn't work on me.

yeah, it's all up to you. hope you find a good way out of this set of circumstances you have created. people here are genuinely helpful if you've got ideas on steps you're considering.

[Bookworm]

You appear to be stuck in a cycle of self-loathing and negativity with no apparent way out. Even thinking about what you need to do overwhelms you to the point of giving up before you've done anything practical about your situation.

Instead of overwhelming yourself with 'everything' that you feel is wrong with you, why not try and tackle them a step at a time. Make a list of all the things you want to change, or what you feel can be achievable with your current mind set, and focus on one issue at a time. If you can achieve some success, however minor, it's at least a step in the right direction and may inspire you further to tackle another issue.

I don't know what else to say really, but I wish you luck and hope you can work things out.