I think my family hates me...

[Borg69]

You are 23... You're at that age when the little birds leave the nest and venture out to make it on their own and become adults... Gay or Straight. It's also that time when, normally, the Parent/Child relationship changes and parents cease being the authority figures as the Youngin's forge their own lives and start to make their own rules and their own families.

[chibigiraffe]

yeah, the thing with my family is that they believe that their "relationship" with god is more important than any other relationship. it's said many times at my church (well, i don't go there anymore but...) that no relationship is worth going to hell over. that is how they live and it's how they (we...) have always lived.

when i realised what doctrine i was a part of it disgusted me. i realise that my cominng-out to myself led me to question my beliefs and re-evaluate my life. most of the people i know haven't really had any experience like the one i've had (my sexuality was something that i knew i couldn't change even though it went against the bible...). and they will never have the chance to question their beliefs if they continue to stay trapped in their closed-off world...

but i'm working on letting go of the grudges i have, because in the end it's hurting me more than it's affecting them.

[East]

Brainwashing is powerful....just think about all those poor souls who followed Jim Jones to Guyana and committed mass suicide ...drinking the kool-aid...a term now widely used to describe people who don't think for themselves...or who are easily manipulated...

So many lessons in Guyana....

My own spiritual beliefs...I strip myself of all of them every now and then and basically put them all on the table to see if I still believe this or that...and if I don't...I throw it away...get it out of my mind....

Same with "truths" I repeat to myself over and over. Keep what I can use...throw away the rest.

I would be the Christian Church's idea of a nightmare...because I am not easy to control ...and I question everything. Having some dipshit quote scripture is certainly NOT going to win me over. I want to know who REALLY wrote the fucking book...and I already figured that out on my own. MEN...with egos.

You can tell the scripture warriors are full of shit because they will tell you the Bible is THE TRUTH ...and eaily quote scripture to prove whatever "truth" it is they are trying to prove..FREQUENTLY using the Old Testament...and at other instances...these same charmers when questioned on the wisdom of Leviticus will tell you that it is only the NEW testament that holds THE TRUTH...but so odd when they freely quote the OLD Testament when it is convenient for them...

....and who wants to pose any other questions after that? They become worse than politicians...saying whatever they have to say instead of just saying...YEAH.,...I REALLY AM FULL OF SHIT

The final blow...if you don't buy their bullshit...you have "Satan" in you. This is a tool bad parents use on their rowdy five year old. The monster in the closet...and so many other "scary things" that will happen to them if they don't listen. ...tools used to scare children into obedience.

[Jay]

Frankly it will be tough on the first few months or years as you have to learn and adjust to the new life as well as environment.

I come from a very religious family too. My family particularly parents do not take my homosexuality very kindly. My parents and sister think I have cured from homosexuality. My big brother hasn't spoken to me for 20 years and my younger brother for 15 years. My young brother hates my guts.

It's a great thing to share and speak up. Don't worry as you're not alone. I know it does look that way but trust me, you are not.

Things do get better as time goes by. But it will only improve if you allow it, become bold and strengthen yourself. My life becomes much better now as I grow older. So yes, things will get better.

Don't sweat yourself over people who dislike you for you.

You live your life for yourself. Don't live your life for them.

[Darius]

Jay, that is terrible and I am sorry that you have experienced this. It must have been painful. It sounds like you have learned to accept it, but do you wish it were different?
Would you like a relationship with your family?

I understand some people don't accept sexuality, but how do they stop loving (or even hate) someone gay who is your family or friend?

[Jay]

Yes.

My family was quite religious but still moderate when we lived in Indonesia and the multiracial neighborhood in Malaysia.

Things took a huge turn when we moved to a religious neighborhood; comprising population of one race.

My parents become more religious. My dad goes to mosque every day. My young brother and I were sent to religious school.

But the thing is I cannot get the logic behind the holy book. I questioned a lot. But I was still known as the most well educated student in Islam in that religious school. I was even elected as the school's preacher. I led prays for hundred of students every day. I lived in hypocrisy.

What bothers me is how my parents and siblings become more narrow minded in a way. My parents particularly my mom becomes quite racist and she thinks Muslims and Malays (Malays are a race; automatically Muslims) are superior than others.

They were different before. I blame the religion for changing my family.

Well Darius, some people are blinded by religion I guess. They have been well brainwashed. I don't get it myself but not much I can do.

Things will become complicated (again) for me in another few years though. I have to come out for second time to my family because I'm sure they will ask me to wed one day. I'm ready if my family wants to disown me. I'm financially and mentally okay. I'm a big boy now.

[trywait]

you're doing fine [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] !

[Jay]

If Ceez or Trywait or Bookworm lives nearby to me, I already drag these guys for few dates and instantly ask them to be my boyfriend lol

Sweet guys. Thanks guys.

[trywait]

aww thanks [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] ! it's all good. I'm just glad I've witnessed the remarkable journey that you've gone on. you are definitely no longer that same meek guy hesitating to talk to some guy on the elevator.

cheers mate!

aloha pumehana

[Jay]

aww thanks [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] ! it's all good. I'm just glad I've witnessed the remarkable journey that you've gone on. you are definitely no longer that same meek guy hesitating to talk to some guy on the elevator.

cheers mate!

aloha pumehana

You still remember all these? The elevator stories and all from years ago. Wow. I don't what to say but thank you! Makes you even sweeter than ever, Trywait. Best I can do is to send a virtual big hug to you. Thank you for being sweet.

P/S: Sorry to the original poster who made this thread; didn't mean to change the discussion.