tools

[ceez]

I've read people post it before and heard people talk about it before but I am curious about the "tools" given to people by therapists to help them get through the low points in life. so, I was wondering if those of you that do have them wouldn't mind sharing.

[CellarDweller]

I don't know if these qualify as 'tools', but when I was in therapy after a bad break up, the therapist gave me 4 things to focus on.

1. Physical activity. Don't sit and mope, get out and walk, hike, cycle, whatever form appeals to you.

2. Connect to a higher power. Whether God, Allah, Mother Nature, yoga, meditation....connect spiritually.

3. Creativity. Use your talent, whether poetry, music, singing, painting, whatever can help you get the negativity out of your system.

4. No negative thoughts. No matter how hard, refuse to see yourself in a negative way. Only be positive.

[East]

My favorite tool I got from my therapist is how to approach a problem or a fork in the road and turn the big monster into a tiny mouse...

It is all about perspective....and getting out of my own way...

First off...when I have to approach a problem with a person..I think about what I am going to say or ask them to do and then I pretend I am someone else asking me to do the same.....and would I have a problem with the request or what I am being told....

As a boss/manager...I am careful never to ask anyone else to do anything I wouldn't do. I will lose their respect...and I will lose my own self respect...and deservedly so.

Then I consider if I am projecting anything on them. This is the best tool. I found that whenever I have a strong reaction or objection...I find the part of the objection that is a reflection of something inside of me that I don't like...or can't accept....it can take awhile and it can be difficult to look in the proverbial mirror...and THIS is the best tool because it if the very thing that turns the monster into a mouse. Once you slay the dragon...this becomes the doorway to inner peace and serenity...so worth the effort to get even a little of either...

...once you do all of those steps and managed the problem or situation...unlike the monster that blocked you...the mouse is much easier to get past....

Some other general tools she gave me......

Another take on projection...what you don't like outside of yourself is sometimes a reflection partially...or in whole...of something you don't like inside of yourself.

Evil is boring. It is much more interesting and challenging to take the high road

Heaven and hell...it is all inside of me....I have free will to choose ...

I am my own worst enemy. Nothing anyone else can do to me is worse than what I do to myself. Conversely...I am also my own best friend and if I am honoring myself and being true to myself I am acting like my own best friend

Own your shit...always...it is the only way to live. If you don't own your own shit..chances are that you...and someone else you "love"...will have to pay for it. The bigger the pile of shit you don't own...the more people will have to pay for it.

If you have a problem and you can't figure out how to get past it...pretend you are looking through a viewmaster and CLICK...change the picture. Approach it with a fresh and different perspective. As Einstein said...The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Whatever it is I am feeling....I let myself feel it ...it is never as scary as I think it will be...

It is none of my business what other people think of me. This is a GREAT ONE! Think about it...everyone has an opinion...sometimes it is nice and pleasant...sometimes they sound like an asshole...sometimes they can be mean....WHATEVER it is..how they view you is about them...not you. It may be true...may not be true... it doesn't matter. If you want to see yourself solely through other people's eyes...you will never become who you are.

I could elaborate for hours LOL I adored my therapist and listened to this wise woman very carefully. I loved her insight and her guidance...she saved my life....

She also gave me the most important tools for the empath part of me...it was her speciality...

I am not sure if it would be beneficial to non empaths..but just in case...instead of trying to explain myself....she told me to just tell people I am from MARS or (my idea)...that I reside in left field so I don't have to explain the quirks that come with being an empath...and if they have no reference as most people don't (they haven't made a movie about us yet LOLOL)..they will not be able to understand so don't blame them for it...or even try to make them understand. The only thing that is important is that I understand. I see things very differently a lot of times and I forget that I probably sound like I really AM from MARS ...so better to just go with that.....

More stuff like that...if there are any empaths I will be happy to share all of the tools I have....

[ceez]

Thanks guys, I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should go to a therapist, I don't know why but I just don't know what I will get out of it or if I really need to go. Right now it's just a pain trying to find one that is gay-friendly, a lot of them in this area claim to have "Christian values" and I contacted the local LGBT center for some suggestions but the reviews I saw for them were all over the place. I guess I'll keep looking though.

[Lexington]

Here were some coping mechanisms that I worked on.

Stay active. If you don't exercise, start. It doesn't have to be intense - just walking around or doing light calisthenics can help a lot.

Shake things up. Try to avoid falling into a routine. Have something new for lunch, or go to a new restaurant. If you usually watch TV in the evenings, try reading books or playing video games. Take a new way to work and home.

Stay social. Being on your own gives your brain time to revisit that same old ground yet again, and it ends up being like revving a car in neutral - lots of noise, but no actual progress. So interact with people. Go hang out with friends. Chat with new folks online. Whatever you can do to keep the interaction going.

Distrust your brain. We've all seen a coin or something on the floor and leapt away from it, thinking it was a bug. That was your brain giving you incorrect or incomplete information. It happens. During a depression, that's happening a lot. Your brain will tell you you're worthless, or there's no point to life, or whatever else. This is like your brain telling you the coin is a bug - it's not giving you the right answers. Don't believe the big picture it's giving you during this time.

Your mileage may vary.

Lex

[CaptainAwesome]

I don't know if these qualify as 'tools', but when I was in therapy after a bad break up, the therapist gave me 4 things to focus on.

1. Physical activity. Don't sit and mope, get out and walk, hike, cycle, whatever form appeals to you.

2. Connect to a higher power. Whether God, Allah, Mother Nature, yoga, meditation....connect spiritually.

3. Creativity. Use your talent, whether poetry, music, singing, painting, whatever can help you get the negativity out of your system.

4. No negative thoughts. No matter how hard, refuse to see yourself in a negative way. Only be positive.

This is something you can hear from the average person tbh.

[Borg69]

Drastic change kinda helps me. I mean, I stress about it beforehand because I think I hate changes, but after a few days of dealing with the newness I forget about old stresses I was rutted in.

... and that really is the big thing... forcing yourself out of the ruts you're in and facing life from a new angle and new perspective.