Disowned
04-07-2015, 03:28 PM
Today in an Arabic literature class. We were talking about a Persian poet. The professor was discussing how his description of Persian men bodies was pretty descriptive throughout his poetry. Then people started accusing him of being a homosexual because of his poetry. Then the professor started talking about the consequences of a man sleeping with another man in Islam which is throwing them off of a high mountain. Then she mentioned that the act of homosexuality is considered worse than committing adultery in Islam. After hearing this, I felt sick to my stomach... Then came feelings of anger and disappointment in what she said.
It was even more appalling to hear my friend encouraging it after class saying "I would want worse to be done to them, I can't understand how these people think this way." And I was walking right next to her. Feeling super uncomfortable and out of my place. I have never felt out of place as I did today. What I heard today distracted me from the rest of my classes and it actually brought tears to my eyes to know that those people with whom I am acquainted are saying this. Even worse, knowing that my own religion addresses this punishment to me. Thinking if people actually found out about my sexual orientation, would this happen to me? The fact that I communicate with my dad on different levels makes me think that he wouldn't even hesitate to do this to me. Feeling like I would be (Don't even know if I already am) Disowned by my family, friends, society, culture and religion just kills me.
Which ultimately makes me question the reason of my existence on this planet in the first place? Which makes me question if I was gonna get murdered in such a cruel way for wanting to show affection to another person regardless of his gender but because eventually he is a human being and I want to communicate my feelings to him then I get thrown off of a mountain? Why don't straight people get thrown off of a mountain too? Or is it because we are against the usual nature of mother nature? Well, I say FUCK mother nature. It makes me angry to hear about this punishment today and I was born this way (In other words, I cannot help wanting it up my butt!!). This is just plain bullcrab and devastating!
It was even more appalling to hear my friend encouraging it after class saying "I would want worse to be done to them, I can't understand how these people think this way." And I was walking right next to her. Feeling super uncomfortable and out of my place. I have never felt out of place as I did today. What I heard today distracted me from the rest of my classes and it actually brought tears to my eyes to know that those people with whom I am acquainted are saying this. Even worse, knowing that my own religion addresses this punishment to me. Thinking if people actually found out about my sexual orientation, would this happen to me? The fact that I communicate with my dad on different levels makes me think that he wouldn't even hesitate to do this to me. Feeling like I would be (Don't even know if I already am) Disowned by my family, friends, society, culture and religion just kills me.
Which ultimately makes me question the reason of my existence on this planet in the first place? Which makes me question if I was gonna get murdered in such a cruel way for wanting to show affection to another person regardless of his gender but because eventually he is a human being and I want to communicate my feelings to him then I get thrown off of a mountain? Why don't straight people get thrown off of a mountain too? Or is it because we are against the usual nature of mother nature? Well, I say FUCK mother nature. It makes me angry to hear about this punishment today and I was born this way (In other words, I cannot help wanting it up my butt!!). This is just plain bullcrab and devastating!
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