Having less sex - tiredness, age or... something else?

[mvoco]

My guy is older (50s) and we've only been together a few months (some of you have no doubt been bored to tears by some of my previous rambling threads!), sex was great - not crazy athletic or anything but good. Really good. We weren't at it 24/7 or anything but I knew he WANTED me, there was that spark or passion or whatever you want to call it.
However we haven't done it at all for almost three weeks now. There's been nothing more than a little kissing. He has used tiredness as an excuse (and I did buy that at first as he has been working long days, sometimes 12 hours, with extremely early mornings even though it seemed to kick in rather suddenly!). But then he wasn't too tired to go out with mates a few nights in a row.
He is still affectionate and I have still been sleeping over but... something feels different. A friend of mine reckons it's just that the "honeymoon period" is over and we've "settled" into coupledom so he doesn't have to try and "keep up" with me anymore and is being himself and says the lack of sex is something to get used to with an older man.
I'm hoping this isn't the case but could it be?

[MikeW]

With so little information it is difficult to know. It could be low testosterone. It could be he actually is "tired". But, in my experience, this lack of libido is often due to no longer having to "work for it". Some men like meat and potatoes or chicken with wild rice -- but no one wants to eat ONLY that. So, what can be done to "spice things up" a bit? Perhaps you're too readily available? I dunno.

[mvoco]

But, in my experience, this lack of libido is often due to no longer having to "work for it". Some men like meat and potatoes or chicken with wild rice -- but no one wants to eat ONLY that. So, what can be done to "spice things up" a bit? Perhaps you're too readily available? I dunno.

I guess this is kind of what I'm afraid of. He's a naturally affectionate person, he's always putting his arm around people. He still hugs me, we kiss and there are still lots of little touches (arms, cheek etc) whilst we're around each other but once I start to "heat up" he immediately starts to cool. He and his ex were more like mates than lovers right before they split and from what I gather the sex was almost non-existent. Are we on the same path?

I do believe tiredness plays something of a roll but he was away with friends last week and went out every night and wasn't too tired for that! We don't see each other every day due to his job, he leaves early and gets home late a few days a week. If we are just "settling" - how do I spice things up again?

[Lexington]

Wasn't he seeing somebody when he made a play for you, as well? My memory is a bit hazy on that.

Best bet? Just ask him. "You haven't seemed interested in sex much recently. Is everything OK?"

Lex

[mvoco]

Wasn't he seeing somebody when he made a play for you, as well? My memory is a bit hazy on that.

Best bet? Just ask him. "You haven't seemed interested in sex much recently. Is everything OK?"

Lex

He was, although he didn't officially "make a play" until they had split up. And I have asked. He has made up an excuse to make a phonecall, he has simply wriggled away from me, he has said he's too hungry... When I pointed out that it's been a while he said it's tiredness.

[Lexington]

It sounds like he's deliberately avoiding the topic. That's...not so good. Perhaps you need to hold his feet to the fire.

Lex

[mvoco]

[MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] - I replied to you but was told my post was waiting for a moderator!

[Pyromancer]

It sounds like he's deliberately avoiding the topic. That's...not so good. Perhaps you need to hold his feet to the fire.

Lex

"...Sigh..." --- IDK, but everyone else on here is nicer than I am...so I'm going to be the one to ask...Do you think he's sleeping with someone else? Could that be why he's too tired with you? I have no idea if this could be the case...not accusing him of anything...but I think it needs to be considered...

[Darius]

If you walk around naked, what does he do?

[Camfer]

I'd speculate, but I'm too tired.