I had to do this years ago.
PHONE GUY: OK, I need to ask your security question to verify your identity.
LEX: Go for it.
PHONE GUY: OK....um...I'm not sure I understand it....
LEX: Read it, anyway.
PHONE GUY: The question says "Of what is Jake fond?"
LEX: Wand.
PHONE GUY: Well, that's the right answer. I won't ask.
LEX: Nor should you.
Lex
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An elderly husband and wife go to the doctor for their regular checkup. Answering all the usual questions, they say they feel fine but are worried because they find themselves becoming forgetful.
"For pete's sake, you're 97!" The doctor, who is not much younger than they are, assured them. "Of course you're not as sharp as you used to be. Go to the five-and-dime, get one of those little notepads, and keep it with you. If you feel like you're going to forget something, write it down."
So they do that, ending up wandering around the giant Walgreen's for 45 minutes because the five-and-dime actually closed in 1982 and is now an oxygen bar, and they don't know what that is, and suspect it might be illegal. But I digress...
Later that night, they are trying to make sense of Modern Family ("Which one's married to who?") when the husband says, "I think I'm going to have some of that ice cream. Would you like some?"
"Sure," she agrees. "There's vanilla and chocolate in there, I'd rather have the chocolate."
"Okay," he tells her, getting stiffly to his feet.
"Write it down, so you don't forget. I didn't like the vanilla."
"I'll remember. Chocolate."
He starts making his way to the kitchen door. He doesn't move very fast, but it's okay, because there will be about 25 commercials in a row. He could get a college degree and Wilford Brimley would still be going on about how he cured his diabetes with Quaker Oatmeal. When he's about halfway across the parlor, she remembers they had some chocolate sprinkles, too, left from the grandkids' birthday party, and tells him they should sprinkle some of those on there, too.
"Write it down," she urges. "They're going to expire if we don't finish them soon."
"I can remember. Chocolate ice cream, chocolate sprinkles."
Just as he reaches the door, she thinks of something else.
"Bring some napkins with you. That's natural ice cream and it melts fast. We don't want a mess."
Before he can agree, she adds, "Write it down. I just got that cough syrup out of the rug. Your hands aren't as steady as they used to be."
"I can remember," he retorts, getting a little testy. "Chocolate ice cream, chocolate sprinkles, and napkins."
He disappears into the kitchen, and she hears a lot of racket. He's gone so long that Modern Family finishes and she gets engrossed in Dancing With the Stars . Finally he reappears, setting triumphantly before her a plate with scrambled eggs, sausage and rye toast.
"You old fool! She hisses. "I told you to write it down! I said links, not patties!"
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