Are we the ones with dementia?

[Lexington]

Another time, this was back in the day when credit cards got run through a little back-and-forth press like thing, imprinting a paper credit card receipt one had to sign. I'm made my purchase, the card was imprinted, and the clerk handed me the paper -- and for the F'n life of me *I could not remember my name!* It was like whatever 'automatic' thing kicks in to sign a check or receipt like this was just *missing* from my brain. Within a couple seconds, of course, it came back but still, there was that *moment* of simply staring blankly at the paper. OMFG :eek:

Thank God it was imprinted on the paper.

Lex

[MikeW]

thank god it was imprinted on the paper.

lex

:/

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[meridannight]

I needed to verify my identity over the phone with my cell provider, so the customer service rep asked me my response to the security question, "What is your favorite food?" I'd set that up years before and had no idea what was my favorite food 10 years ago.

i never use the real answer for questions like that. my answer for such security questions has nothing to do with the question. it's always one certain word, like ''kerosene'', for example, or ''GABA receptor''.

what's your favorite food? -- kerosene. lols. yes, i eat that daily, if you didn't understand that you can type whatever you want under the answer there. doesn't even have to be food.

i don't see that i have to provide a real answer. i just have to provide an answer. period. it's a code word, and could be anything, even a random combination of numbers and letters if you will. but people who don't understand that tomato isn't food, well....

[Lexington]

I had to do this years ago.

PHONE GUY: OK, I need to ask your security question to verify your identity.
LEX: Go for it.
PHONE GUY: OK....um...I'm not sure I understand it....
LEX: Read it, anyway.
PHONE GUY: The question says "Of what is Jake fond?"
LEX: Wand.
PHONE GUY: Well, that's the right answer. I won't ask.
LEX: Nor should you.

Lex

[ShiftyNJ]

An elderly husband and wife go to the doctor for their regular checkup. Answering all the usual questions, they say they feel fine but are worried because they find themselves becoming forgetful.

"For pete's sake, you're 97!" The doctor, who is not much younger than they are, assured them. "Of course you're not as sharp as you used to be. Go to the five-and-dime, get one of those little notepads, and keep it with you. If you feel like you're going to forget something, write it down."

So they do that, ending up wandering around the giant Walgreen's for 45 minutes because the five-and-dime actually closed in 1982 and is now an oxygen bar, and they don't know what that is, and suspect it might be illegal. But I digress...

Later that night, they are trying to make sense of Modern Family ("Which one's married to who?") when the husband says, "I think I'm going to have some of that ice cream. Would you like some?"

"Sure," she agrees. "There's vanilla and chocolate in there, I'd rather have the chocolate."

"Okay," he tells her, getting stiffly to his feet.

"Write it down, so you don't forget. I didn't like the vanilla."

"I'll remember. Chocolate."

He starts making his way to the kitchen door. He doesn't move very fast, but it's okay, because there will be about 25 commercials in a row. He could get a college degree and Wilford Brimley would still be going on about how he cured his diabetes with Quaker Oatmeal. When he's about halfway across the parlor, she remembers they had some chocolate sprinkles, too, left from the grandkids' birthday party, and tells him they should sprinkle some of those on there, too.

"Write it down," she urges. "They're going to expire if we don't finish them soon."

"I can remember. Chocolate ice cream, chocolate sprinkles."

Just as he reaches the door, she thinks of something else.

"Bring some napkins with you. That's natural ice cream and it melts fast. We don't want a mess."

Before he can agree, she adds, "Write it down. I just got that cough syrup out of the rug. Your hands aren't as steady as they used to be."

"I can remember," he retorts, getting a little testy. "Chocolate ice cream, chocolate sprinkles, and napkins."

He disappears into the kitchen, and she hears a lot of racket. He's gone so long that Modern Family finishes and she gets engrossed in Dancing With the Stars . Finally he reappears, setting triumphantly before her a plate with scrambled eggs, sausage and rye toast.

"You old fool! She hisses. "I told you to write it down! I said links, not patties!"