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The UK General Election
#1
While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.

The old farmer said: "Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Tortoises'.''

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post tortoise' was.

The old farmer said: "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise."

The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.

"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb arse put him up there to begin with."

Best description of a UK politician I've ever heard.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
Funny. True.

I give this 11/10
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#3
Definitely agree with this LOL
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