Asking someone if they're gay?

[CardShark]

So whats the rules on finding out if someones gay?

Do you go up to them and say "Hey man, you gay?"

or do you wait for them to say "Hey man, I'm gay!"

[XRIMO]

Perhaps a more indirect approach would work. Ask someone close to the person you are curious about (ask something like, "does he have a girlfriend? no, is he gay?"). Then if you discover that he is, then subtly bring it up in conversation ("Did you hear about prop 8, that sucks.")

Thats my suggestion.

[sox-and-the-city]

Sweets, you can normally tell, and i don't mean like 'oh he's camp he MUST like the boaby' kinda tell, but like, you just get a vibe from peeps. Once you get into a conversation it becomes a lot easier too.

I'm weird tho, i have like, a 5th sense for this (my sense of smell being essentially defunct) and can just tell. Have never been wrong yet.

Guess what i'm saying is just get try to get the feel of your own gaydar, and in the meantime asking as genuinely as you can will work wonders, but be prepared to be apolgetic if they react badly, i guess...

[Star Twister]

Sweets, you can normally tell, and i don't mean like 'oh he's camp he MUST like the boaby' kinda tell, but like, you just get a vibe from peeps. Once you get into a conversation it becomes a lot easier too.

Isn't called our Gaydar and I'm not talking about the website lol

[CardShark]

Yeah I get the feeling hes gay... but then comes the awquard part of putting it to the test... and I don't want to get a punch .

Someone said to me "do you have a girlfriend" I said no so he says "do you have a boyfriend". I guess thats a good way then, then making it asif your being rude saying do you have a girlfriend if your gay etc.

[sox-and-the-city]

Hon if you have a particular boy in question just flirt it up with him. I'm getting it'll be easier for you to work out if he's into YOU in particular, and you'll care more about that, non??

I'll be on hand to give you my masterclass: Flirting 101 if tis required lol

[CardShark]

Well my gaydar is broken :frown:... everyones frickin straight!

[XRIMO]

Well my gaydar is broken :frown:... everyones frickin straight!

lol, I think mine froze in the bitter winters here, cause I have no luck either. Its been said before, but everyone needs a sticker so we don't have to sit and ponder...:biggrin:

[Shadow]

I think the only "rule" that I can think of is that you don't out a closeted homosexual to anybody else - THAT is inappropriate, so depending on your relationship with the person you wanna talk to (i.e. whether you're chatty or pally or distant etc., etc.), that should act as your guide for determining how best to broach the subject ...

Personally I'd favour a kinda "got a girlfriend ?" and then if the answer's no "got a boyfriend ?" 'coz it shows you're not harbouring any pretention or malice or spite and just being open and level with the questions - statistically we number less than 1:10 (apparently), so putting girl before boy is a forgivable presumption ...

mile:.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

P.s. Don't worry - all mine are straight as well - except my bro's - they're lovely AND gay bless 'em :biggrin:.

[fjp999]

someone on another forum suggested asking a fellow female co-worker if he was gay or straight, you could do the girlfriend thing with the co-worker also... whats always worked for me was to just go up and plant a kiss on the lips, ya should find out real fast with that one... btw, I have only done this in a gay club