In the zone

[Lexington]

Something happened this morning that is kind of rare. And I don't really have a name for it, and I'm not even sure I can describe it correctly...but I'll try.

I've had it happen while having sex with somebody else, but it's more common to happen on my own. Probably because I only have one person to think/worry about, and can tailor my responses only to that. During these times, I'm usually very horny, and fairly deep into the session. But I'm not so horny that I'm driving hard and fast towards orgasm - there's a bit of wiggle room there. And when I hit that spot....it's really hard to describe. But I suddenly feel relaxed and at peace...despite the fact that I'm still horny, and still having sex (with myself or somebody else). Sort of a weird but perfect combination of "sunning myself on the beach" and "fucking somebody senseless". I feel like I could pretty much stay in that spot forever.

When I hit that spot alone, I usually notice it based on my reaction to whatever I'm fantasizing about (or the porn I'm watching). Instead of something hot and exciting, it suddenly becomes weirdly..."normal"? "Natural"? So even if I'm fantasizing about something really out there ("so the werewolf and the alien are on the wrestling mat with me..."), it doesn't SEEM "out there" anymore. It somehow fits. Of course the werewolf and alien are on the wrestling mat with me - nothing strange about that at all.

Mind you, I never feel embarrassed or guilty about whatever it is I'm fantasizing about. But I guess even when I really get into it, I'm at least partially aware that these fantasies are kinda weird. But when I get to that point, they stop feeling weird. And it's a strangely peaceful feeling...which feels even stranger when I'm still banging away. And when I hit it, it's such an amazing feeling. It's two or three steps up from even the awesome sex I normally have.

I don't know if I've described this very well...but does it resonate at all with anybody else?

Lex

[East]

Yeah...I think I know what you are describing.....or something similar

I refer to it as the moment when mind/body/soul become one...it is the perfect state of being. I call it "the trine"

The reason why it happens when the fantasy is normalized and peaceful is because when your mind and body "let go" during sex (with yourself or someone else)...all of the stuff we internalize or are conditioned to believe...like thinking something is weird.....melts away...

I hear alot of people describe other people's sex as "shallow and meaningless" alot...and I know they are conditioned to think this way so I give it a pass most of the time...and I never bother telling them that for me ..when I am lucky...sex is a spiritual experience....whether is is with the man I love...myself...or a stranger that I connect with sexually...

I think when you get rid of your false personality and are raw and just feel whatever it is you feel with no guilt or shame...or thinking it is weird...it is a spiritual experience because you are one with yourself...

Very relaxing ...and calming...when you get to that place...

[Pyromancer]

This does and doesn't relate to your post...the feeling you describe resonates. with me..it brought to mind what I've heard people call transcending the pain/pleasure paradigm...obviously, not what you're doing...but, reading your post, I felt a sense of recognition...

A sub on another forum described it this way, "...in essence pain and pleasure dont really exist they are just creations or perceptions of our minds. By reconditioning our minds, by the simultanious experience of erotic pleasure and bodilly pain, we can transcend the confines of our perceptions.. When our reptillian mind has the embodied perception of the transcendence of the pleasure pain paradigm (by the simultanious experience of both), we are freed from craving and aversion, or lust and fear.... ".

...the feeling...of soaring, of everything and nothing...just being at peace in mind in body and at heart...being absolutely real. And yes, if the Dom allows orgasm, it's intense...even more so if the sub has been denied orgasm in previous sessions...I wish I knew how to better describe it...again, not what you're describing...but I could relate...

[Lexington]

I get what you're saying, [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION], and I think you're kind of in the ballpark. I wouldn't have thought of the word if you hadn't used it, but yeah - there IS something spiritual about it all. I finish feeling not only physically satisfied, and mentally stronger, but....spiritually stronger, I guess. It's tough to put into words.

It's far more than just "letting go", though. I make it a habit to take my inhibitions off with my clothes. I might objectively think some of my fantasies are weird, but I have no trouble getting into them. But when I'm in the zone, the fantasies sort of start driving themselves. And they often become like...dreams. We've woken up really panicked or really horny, even though the dream we had doesn't seem all that nerve-wracking or erotic in retrospect. I think in times like that, the emotion happens first, and your mind starts providing images that go along with it. And so it is with my fantasies when I'm in the zone. They become more like free verse - vague images and thoughts rather than stories or scenarios. But just like that less-than-scary setup can make you wake up screaming, these vague thoughts can make me horny beyond belief.

Lex

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have never been able to reach that zone all on my lonesome - A few of my partners have gotten me in that place.

For me I have considered it 'deeper intimacy' with a partner - where sex ceases to be just lust and something more connecting - but then I don't get to that place by myself.

As for weird Fantasies. I used to think I was one hella sick twisted pervert, then came the internet which taught me that I am very tame and not at all sick.

[Butterfingers]

Maybe I am to simple with this, but I call it getting into the rhythm.

[Lexington]

[MENTION=12444]Bowyn Aerrow[/MENTION], yeah, having a partner adds another dimension to things. Usually a positive one, although I can think of at least one that was kinda neutral. And "connecting" with that guy (in ways other than the physical) can definitely make something great even more so. But this isn't quite the same thing.

And [MENTION=21775]Butterfingers[/MENTION], getting in the rhythm certainly makes things better. But the thing I'm talking about sort of transcends that. It's nearly impossible to explain - it's like describing an orgasm to somebody who never had one.

I had sex this morning, and I didn't get there...which I expected. And perhaps the strange thing is - I never feel bad about not getting there, even after having recently experienced it. You'd think after feeling something so amazing, I'd be desperately chasing after it. But instead, it's just sort of a wonderful bonus. Love having it, but it's not necessary to have all the time.

Lex