How much worse can things get...?

[Beaux]

I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. Today I discovered that my parents, who I had entrusted with a power of attorny so they could handle my rental properties, used said power of attorny to take our a lean on one of my houses (the only one that was completely paid for) for $35,000 so that they could pay their taxes which they have not paid in 2 years.besides the fact that this house was my security blanket assuming my marriage didn't work out, I was also in the process of taking out a mortgage in it to pay our surrogate for this one last try to have a baby. That's how I found out what they did--the bank denied my loan request because there was already a lean on the house by the IRS.

When Imconfronted them about it, they said I was being selfish. That they needed the money and as their son I owed it to them to give them the money. Furthermore, they said that my having a child was a pipe dream, that gays shouldn't raise children.
I told them that I never want to speak to them again, and I mean it. Regardless of my situation or my marriage, that was my property that I worked hard to pay for. I would never have done that to ANYONE much less family,mama now I know how little I matter to them.

I honestly don't think I can take anymore and I want to just quit.

How can the people who birthed you, break you with no regard for anyone but themselves?

[MikeW]

Jeebitz...

Well, what can anyone say except, fuck, that's just SO unacceptable. So, they didn't even discuss this with you, they just did it because they could?

Okkk..... so what is their plan to pay BACK this money and how quickly?

By "owed it to them" does that mean they're not intending to pay it back?

I can certainly understand your feeling at your ropes end.

[Lexington]

I don't know the whole story about your parents, but two things stick out right away.

* Them saying you having a child is a pipe dream because gays shouldn't have children.

* The fact that they took out a lien on your property...without even telling you. I wouldn't necessarily argue that "as their offspring, you owe it to them". But why wouldn't they even TELL you they were doing this?

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say these actions aren't totally out of line for them. Given that, I would've MAJORLY questioned handing over the keys (as it were) to them, but that's all past examining now. The real point now is whether you can take control back. Because technically at this point, what's to stop them from simply selling the place and pocketing the money?

Lex

[Beaux]

Jeebitz...

Well, what can anyone say except, fuck, that's just SO unacceptable. So, they didn't even discuss this with you, they just did it because they could?

Okkk..... so what is their plan to pay BACK this money and how quickly?

By "owed it to them" does that mean they're not intending to pay it back?

I can certainly understand your feeling at your ropes end.

They say that they PLANNED to pay it back, but that my dad lost his job day before yesterday and now they can't. If I want to save my house, I will have to come up with the money. When I asked my dad, "So you expect me to just take this at a loss?!?" He replied, "Well, just be glad we didn't take out the loan for more! It could be worse!".
I am so disgusted with them. I honestly don't ever want to speak to them again.
~Beaux

[MikeW]

I am so disgusted with them. I honestly don't ever want to speak to them again.

Well, yeah, of course you are. Total disrespect for your property and boundaries, not to mention your dreams. NOT OK.

Realistically you will probably have to talk with them but if I were you I'd be looking for a) an attorney to find out what my legal options are and b) talking with a financial planner about how to stave off disaster if not turn this situation around.

The whole thing with the parents and the IRS... that's just insane. They could probably have negotiated some sort of payment arrangement with them that would have worked for everyone without risking anyone.

Unfuckingbelievable.

[Rareboy]

I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. Today I discovered that my parents, who I had entrusted with a power of attorny so they could handle my rental properties, used said power of attorny to take our a lean on one of my houses (the only one that was completely paid for) for $35,000 so that they could pay their taxes which they have not paid in 2 years.besides the fact that this house was my security blanket assuming my marriage didn't work out, I was also in the process of taking out a mortgage in it to pay our surrogate for this one last try to have a baby. That's how I found out what they did--the bank denied my loan request because there was already a lean on the house by the IRS.

When Imconfronted them about it, they said I was being selfish. That they needed the money and as their son I owed it to them to give them the money. Furthermore, they said that my having a child was a pipe dream, that gays shouldn't raise children.
I told them that I never want to speak to them again, and I mean it. Regardless of my situation or my marriage, that was my property that I worked hard to pay for. I would never have done that to ANYONE much less family,mama now I know how little I matter to them.

I honestly don't think I can take anymore and I want to just quit.

How can the people who birthed you, break you with no regard for anyone but themselves?

Well I can't 'thank' you for the post.

But I can say that your story is sadly not unique. Many children have been stunned to find out that not only do their parents believe that they are owed everything....and as in your case, that they have no obligation to inform you of the consequences of their bad management. This was perhaps the worst part about it.

Obviously, withdraw the power of attorney. It is clear they can't be trusted. Send them a proper letter outlining the terms of re-payment of the loan they took out against your house, and register a lien against their house. Nasty...but it sounds like it is called for, if only as a formality.

As for their take on homos raising babies...well, I would state in writing to them that this was the worst thing they could have said and that they must apologize or accept that until they do, you aren't able to communicate with them.



And I guess you should be glad the loan wasn't for more.

[Virge]

Beaux. If they were handling the property through power of attorney for you can't they be held legally responsible for mishandling it? I know for sure of other cases where that's worked out. One was my captain in the corps. His brother did about the same thing with a house the captain had bought and used the money to pay off court fines on felonies. The captain won in court and bragged later his brother was going to be riding a bike to work for about ten years.

Family or not. If someone dissed me the way you've been dissed and F.O.ed I'd shrug and say to myself, "all right, Game's on, mudderfudders."

[Pyromancer]

I have no idea what to say except

You'll cope because, from what I've seen of you here, you're someone who always manages to cope. But it sucks big time and you surely deserve better.

I hope that some of the legal options that people have mentioned work.

And, to reiterate

[Butterfingers]

I know that you are going through a lot, I didn't respond to your post about meds. as it's out of my league.
This one is too, all I can do is say see a attorney, take his advise.
I hope that things turn around soon, best always!

[Borg69]

I'm speechless at the entitlement. They couldn't even bother to ask first? And then to turn around and say what they did? Nothing like being insulted by your mugger parents!

I agree with the others to take legal action. Sue. Put a lien on their house.