04-24-2015, 05:38 PM
[MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION] has an excellent point...and so does your therapist.....I think they are both right...and I know why.....
Write the letter...to yourself. Forgiveness isn't really about the other person anyway...it is for the person who is forgiving....in most cases....
If you can truly forgive him...you take the power back he has over you...mostly the power you don't even know about... and do not want to find out about...
My brother has been in and out of San Quentin most of his life (mostly in)...and just before he gets out...he always finds Jesus. Back when I had contact with my parents still....I would tell my Dad especially that he was being manipulated. He didn't care...he had guilt....
After my mom and dad died...the letter came to me...6 pages of guilt and "the importance of family"...and Jesus. I didn't even read the whole thing but instead took the opportunity to educate my stepmother. My brother is a carbon copy of my mother....if you don't know what you are dealing with...you will be his victim....
I won't allow my brother in the same room as me...been that way forever. IF you are in a room with him...he will figure out what your weaknesses are and use them against you...my mother was the same way. He can't even help it...it is his nature. When he was a kid...both sets of my grandparents were frightened of him and refused to let my parents leave him alone with them. I thought the devil was born into my family...until I figured out he was a carbon copy of my mom....then I KNEW it.
He is a con man.....it is ALWAYS a bad idea to have anything to do with a con man...always...and if that person is "family"...he will take you down with him...which is why your therapist probably suggested having no contact with him....
Most of the greatest con men in history have "found Jesus" (or politics).....it isn't rocket science how they figure that one out. Religion is the promised land for con men. Who was the one fucker who told his followers that God was gonna "take him" unless he raised one million dollars by a certain date?..and he DID IT!!!!! many times he pulled this bullshit. He was a really famous one....
Funny thing... back in 1996...I saw my brother once...at an open door...I had to give him some money to help my other brother who he brings down every time he gets out of prison...and he told me that he "respected me" for not taking any of his shit. Well...translation...he figured out I love honesty...the fucker was trying to manipulate me using my strength as a weakness....LOL...I just faintly smiled and nodded as I closed the door. I haven't seen him since....
Good luck...I do not envy your position at all. I think it would be more difficult with a parent than a brother....more strings they can pull.....
Write the letter...to yourself. Forgiveness isn't really about the other person anyway...it is for the person who is forgiving....in most cases....
If you can truly forgive him...you take the power back he has over you...mostly the power you don't even know about... and do not want to find out about...
My brother has been in and out of San Quentin most of his life (mostly in)...and just before he gets out...he always finds Jesus. Back when I had contact with my parents still....I would tell my Dad especially that he was being manipulated. He didn't care...he had guilt....
After my mom and dad died...the letter came to me...6 pages of guilt and "the importance of family"...and Jesus. I didn't even read the whole thing but instead took the opportunity to educate my stepmother. My brother is a carbon copy of my mother....if you don't know what you are dealing with...you will be his victim....
I won't allow my brother in the same room as me...been that way forever. IF you are in a room with him...he will figure out what your weaknesses are and use them against you...my mother was the same way. He can't even help it...it is his nature. When he was a kid...both sets of my grandparents were frightened of him and refused to let my parents leave him alone with them. I thought the devil was born into my family...until I figured out he was a carbon copy of my mom....then I KNEW it.
He is a con man.....it is ALWAYS a bad idea to have anything to do with a con man...always...and if that person is "family"...he will take you down with him...which is why your therapist probably suggested having no contact with him....
Most of the greatest con men in history have "found Jesus" (or politics).....it isn't rocket science how they figure that one out. Religion is the promised land for con men. Who was the one fucker who told his followers that God was gonna "take him" unless he raised one million dollars by a certain date?..and he DID IT!!!!! many times he pulled this bullshit. He was a really famous one....
Funny thing... back in 1996...I saw my brother once...at an open door...I had to give him some money to help my other brother who he brings down every time he gets out of prison...and he told me that he "respected me" for not taking any of his shit. Well...translation...he figured out I love honesty...the fucker was trying to manipulate me using my strength as a weakness....LOL...I just faintly smiled and nodded as I closed the door. I haven't seen him since....
Good luck...I do not envy your position at all. I think it would be more difficult with a parent than a brother....more strings they can pull.....