Went on a few dates with a great guy, but...

[Radbot42]

I'm really not feeling it. I can tell he is really into me and I do like him. I just don't see it going anywhere. I want to tell him that I don't want to go out again, but not sure how to do so. I'm not going to give him the cold shoulder, and just want to tell him straight up that I like him just not going to fall for him, but I don't want it to sound mean. Any help would be appreciated.

[MikeW]

I'm really not feeling it. I can tell he is really into me and I do like him. I just don't see it going anywhere. I want to tell him that I don't want to go out again, but not sure how to do so. I'm not going to give him the cold shoulder, and just want to tell him straight up that I like him just not going to fall for him, but I don't want it to sound mean. Any help would be appreciated.

I know sometimes it is difficult to be honest about our feelings, especially when someone is more interested in us than we are in them. We don't want to hurt their feelings. The problem is, we sort of have to... That is to say, their feelings are going to get hurt one way or another, right? They're going to have to feel the pain of realizing that, whatever they're wanting from us, isn't going to happen. So... I dunno, what is it that prevents you from basically just telling him what you've told us? You like him well enough but just aren't that into him?

There's lots more I'm curious about, like, "why?" aren't you that into him... He may be as well. What would you say to that if he asked?

[Bookworm]

It sounds like you both like each other and enjoy each other's company, but he seems to be moving a little faster than you on the commitment front which has you worried perhaps?

You don't have to rush this. If you like him just be honest with him and tell him how you are feeling and that you'd like time to get to know him more and see what develops. Communication is the key; don't let things drag on indefinitely and bottle things up, and if you really aren't into him and don't see it going further then you need to be open about that.

[Pyromancer]

If you're sure that there's nothing there, maybe just tell him that you feel like the two of you would be better as friends than dating...I mean, if you KNOW that it isn't going to happen for you it would be unkind to keep him hanging on with "maybe"...good luck with it and try not to stress...

[Radbot42]

So here's the quick notes of the 3 dates we've been on: drive in/mall/movie. We have good conversation, and I do enjoy his company, but he does feel more like a friend than a boyfriend. Nothing was moving too fast. I told him that I like to take things slow, and he said that sounds like a good idea and put me in control of what speed we would take. I plan on texting him tonight

[matty7]

I think I would rather know if it were me sooner rather than later - the longer you don't tell him the longer he will feel you may be the one for him - he is going to be hurt and wonder why but it would be harder 6 months down the line for him im sure - sorry it hasn't worked out but you would still have a friend if you or he wanted it that way

[JohnSomebody]

I'm very familiar with this and I chose to tell the person in a one-on-one environment how I just wanted a friendship as opposed to something deeper. I've had a few guys that did not like my choice ...but in the end ...they did choose to have a friendship with me and I stood firm on my decision instead of letting them have false hope that something more could happen. Therefore, as uncomfortable or how awkward you may feel telling them how you really feel...I strongly suggest that you do and stand by your decision afterwards. Eventually..they will come around and if not...then consider it to be a blessing in disguise. Good luck!!!

[Cridders88]

It does sound like the spark isn't there for you, and that you could be better off just being friends. He will probably be dissappointed at first, but it's better this happens sooner rather than later. Good luck!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

There are going to be hurtful things that need to be said, trying to pull the punch and use some sort of secondary or tertiary phrase because you think it will soften the needle jab - or whatever, rarely, if ever actually makes it easier - often it just pisses the person off.

[Lexington]

"Although I enjoy your company, I've given it a few dates to see if any sparks developed, and I'm afraid I'm just not feeling anything. I'm sorry."

Lex