I have just realized I am gay. I have been married for 22 years and it has been very rocky for some time now. Tried to get the wife and I to work this out and she would not go for it. It really got me thinking and truly looking at myself. After all the denial I have come to accept that I am most likely gay. I have only shared this recently with two close friends and their response was "Yeah I could have told you that!" One was a close gay friend and the other was a female friend of mine. My question is, now what do I do?
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I come from a very Catholic background. Being gay was not an option. I got married because that is what was expected. I was a virgin when I married and sex with my wife has never been that fulfilling. My marriage probably is in such bad shaped I do not know if it can be repair. That might not be something that I want now that I have been true to myself.
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GO TO EAST!!!
WOW!!!!
WELCOME to the wonderful world of CONFUSION!!!!!
I feel soooooooo much for you Dude, I have this same problem and am in actually Love with a Man.
Your Best bet is to get pointers and conformation from EAST!!!!!
He can Help you!!! He Knows his Shit, Trust me man, ASK FOR HIS HELP!!!!!!
Click on East, You won't regret it, He can HELP YOU.
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You don't mention if any children are involved nor do you mention what you want to do.
It's unfortunate that your wife does not want to discusss the matter. Either she doesn't believe you or she hopes that by ignoring it, the problem will go away. Either way decisions will have to be made and the inevitable hurt will accompany it. It would seem to me that to continue with a loveless marriage would be pointless for both of you and in the end you have to consider what is best for both of you. You both deserve happiness.
Somehow or other you will have to get your wife to talk about the subject. Maybe a temporary separation might help you resolve your feelings and if in the end, your wife accepts the situation, it will give her a chance to find her own happiness.
Sorry, this is very basic advice and I'm sure that others here will go in to greater detail. Whatever, I do wish you luck in your future life and happiness.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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My advise would be for you to discuss this with a counselor, you need to sort a lot of things out.
I was about your age when I finally accepted my sexuality, I had tried to change or deny it for years.
I had a lot of gay sex in my teens and in my early 20's I did what was expected of me and married, sometime the sex was exciting, most of the time it wasn't. Then it stopped, abut 20 years ago.
I decided to continue on in my marriage, while guys did turn me on, I wasn't going to go out and find a partner and there are other factors, my wife is disabled, I won't drop her in as much as I made a commitment to her and I do love her.
I told you this so you can see it's not all black and white, after 22 years there must be financial considerations, perhaps children or grandchildren.
Get some professional advise, good luck!
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Congratulations on finding your true self. Most of us on here have been where you are now at some times in our lives , we know it can be scary and very confusing but it does get better.
If you have not been already you need to eventually have a chat with your wife and be open and honest about yourself with her.
Maybe think about talking with a therapist to get some professional guidance. Also there has been some guys on here that have been in a similar situation to yourself , so they may chat with you and offer some help.
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Capricorn
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