Disturbing Behavoir?...or not?

[matty7]

isn't this a similar thing to the angel of death thing...(its happened in uk in a few big cases) where a nurse deliberately makes a patient ill only to swoop in to save the day and be the hero...although they got caught when the patients actually died and they found the overdoses ? - just saying that's all

[Darius]

yousir might have it right about the psychological stuff, but to me it boils down to control. She is throwing the old woman into a fearful place then pulling her out. She becomes the savior that the old woman needs. In the process, she also it counting on power over you.

[East]

Thanks guys...I have read every one of your responses and I have been thinking about everything you all said all day....quite eye opening....not something that usually happens with me. I am surprised so many people are familiar with this behavior...how did I miss this until now????

I couldn't type all day because I was out of town and I hate typing on my iphone and now I am tired but I will be back because I have some specific questions and comments....

Thanks again!

[yousir]

yousir might have it right about the psychological stuff, but to me it boils down to control. She is throwing the old woman into a fearful place then pulling her out. She becomes the savior that the old woman needs. In the process, she also it counting on power over you.

It IS about power. Like with other narcissistic behaviour. Its all ME ME ME and I MUST DOMINATE.

[catshello]

what a nasty piece of work. Remember these people themselves are damaged. They have unspoken needs and play these headfuck games to try to fulfill them. best avoided. Its not your place to help them as it is too much of a mammoth task that requires a therapist, a lot of painful self reflection and mental/emotional shifting.

I'm "damaged" I suppose. I didnt ask for it. I inherited a similar type of "dancing persecutor" type during my childhood upbringing.

[mvoco]

Sadly, this is something I've seen quite often but it didn't stop me recently falling for a similar routine from a nasty individual. People like this cannot be trusted, personally or in business because chances are she is/will do the same to you. Some people don't mind this kind of behaviour, especially if the person gets results and there's money involved, but I think most decent people would not put up with it for any reason. If you have to get this job done with her, then get through it but if I were you I would definitely not get into business with her again. If she keeps trying to get the other woman worked up then step in yourself with some calming words before she gets the chance to play "saviour" and offer her own solutions. Just cut her down whenever you can.

[ShiftyNJ]

I agree with the others... this seems like a liability that will cost you business.

[kjames]

The lady is on a verge of a nervous breakdown. Your partner is trying to get her there as quick as possible because after she completely peaks emotionally there is a calming of the storm. It isn't the right way to do things. Kindness is always the best route. You should call he out on her behavior and together develop a strategy on how to deal with such issues (loss) since it will be common in your field of work. If she doesn't want to form a strategy with you then it's time to find another partner.