The usual is he into me.

[edjf378]

I know everyone probably sees this or is asked this all the time. I am trying to find out if I'm being dragged along. I meet this guy on one of the gay "dating" apps. We happened to both be in town when he came to the casinos. We decided to meet at casino. The greeting was on the casino floor and we talked for a good 15 mins just to say hey and what's up. His friend was with him and he said he was in charge of making sure his friend didn't blow all his money on gambling. The friend asked he wanted us to leave and he said no. Well they decided it was time to leave after all it was 3 in the morning and had an hour drive. The next day I texted to see that he made it home ok, etc. He said he did but made a reference to the fact that he was able to keep the friend from taking advantage of him on the way home. I was confused because I didn't know what he was saying. He told me the friend was trying to get road head. I told him I didn't know they were together. He said they weren't just that they mess around and joke. Red flag to me but I'm new to this.
Intermission Time...
Second, now during this recent text session he said he was sorry for being so tired after I apologized for being boring myself in a joking manner. He said next time he hoped to not be so worn out. He works in the mental health field at a hospital. Eventually I asked if he wanted to go on a date. He said sure. After many more text we decided on a weekend. Leading up to it we texted here and there and it was always initiated by me. Red flag again. Well the day before I asked if he knew what time he might be in town. He responded with the I don't know. That night came so we decided the next day. The day came and he said he was so tired from working a 13 hour shift. I said rain check. He said sure. Well that night I was checking the app and saw he had a new pic. I messaged him and told him it was nice nothing too much. Then went on. He texted back flirting with me about the pic. I of course flirted back then he mentioned he was drunk. He apologized that he missed that date and said he really wanted to. Next thing I know he is talking about how his friend, don't know if it's the same one, had a bad day so they decided to have pizza and tequila. Red flag. I just left it alone. We aren't dating so he didn't have to prove himself to me but at the same respect he didn't mention that to me at all. The next day we talked some more and I said he could have just told me was hanging without a friend and I wouldn't have cared. He said that he was tired as well. So now I've tried to reschedule. He'll be off on a holiday weekend but will be doing something with friends. And working until the first weekend of June. I want to say he is interested then again I want to say he is a player and I don't want to go through that again. Advice anyone. Also Tbh. I don't have much prospects for relationships in the area so there's that.

[Camfer]

Move on, there's nothing happening there. If he wanted anything he'd initiate.

[East]

One way to get a definite answer...don't bring up dating or meeting him again in the future.

If he doesn't bring it up...you have your answer.

[edjf378]

The thing is I don't want to. He's the first person to give me any attention in regards to relationship and he is cute. I live in North Louisiana. There's not that much here and gay guys who want a relationship are few and far between.

[Camfer]

Actually, he hasn't given you "any attention in regards to relationship." You are fooling yourself with your wishful thinking. Let him initiate, or not. You've done what you can. Better to live in reality than in fantasy, even if your reality isn't as much fun as your fantasy. If he wanted a relationship with you, he'd be acting MUCH differently.

[Pyromancer]

Try turning it around...if you were into a guy and wanted a relationship with him, would you act the way he's acting now? Would you pass on a chance to be with him in order to hang with a friend, get drunk, etc.? Would you always be too tired?

I get that you like him and that you want to date him, but yeah...he's a flirt and maybe a bit of a player. [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] is right, you need to slow down and let him make the next move...if he isn't really interested, pursuing him won't make it happen...

[MikeW]

Try turning it around...if you were into a guy and wanted a relationship with him, would you act the way he's acting now? Would you pass on a chance to be with him in order to hang with a friend, get drunk, etc.? Would you always be too tired?

I get that you like him and that you want to date him, but yeah...he's a flirt and maybe a bit of a player. [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] is right, you need to slow down and let him make the next move...if he isn't really interested, pursuing him won't make it happen...

Pyromancer has it right, [MENTION=22853]edjf378[/MENTION], any good relationship has to be something BOTH guys want enough to make it happen. As a general rule, you never want to invest much more into a "getting to know him" situation than the other guy is investing as well. Doing so is a recipe for hurt.

I get it that your local potentials are few and far between. Sucks, doesn't it? But as is being said, you can't *make* something happen if the other guy isn't as into you as you are into him. In fact, pushing the river can often backfire; think how you feel if someone you weren't all that into started sort of pushing to get together. I'm not saying that is exactly what is going on here, I don't really know, of course. But I do know enough about psychology to know that sometimes people are more interested in what they're afraid they can't have than what they know they can have easily. Capiche?

[kjames]

You got to be honest with yourself and what you want. If you want a close loving relationship then you got the wrong guy. If you want an unattached sexual encounter then you will have to treat it as such.