NEVER question a drunk

[LONDONER]

Never question a drunk

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk

A carton of eggs

A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce

A 2 lb. Can of coffee

A 1 lb. Package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.’

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?’

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.

[JohnSomebody]

Never question a drunk

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk

A carton of eggs

A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce

A 2 lb. Can of coffee

A 1 lb. Package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.’

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?’

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.

WOW...haha..this was a good one...but when I was bartending...I loved talking to drunk patrons because a drunk individual will tell you their truth because the alcohol has given them the courage to do so, and they will tell you things that more than likely will not mention if sober.

[catshello]

WOW...haha..this was a good one...but when I was bartending...I loved talking to drunk patrons because a drunk individual will tell you their truth because the alcohol has given them the courage to do so, and they will tell you things that more than likely will not mention if sober.

We need more bartenders like you!
I recently encountered a girl with attitude at Parliament House Orlando. I wish she were more memorable in a positive manner.

[jaxc]

That is just so mean, but f****** funny at the same time:biggrin:, and if it's any comfort, you're not ugly, you're beautiful, for a damn limey anyway's :biggrin: ( sorry, inner irish coming out)

[East]

When people are drunk you get to see what the actual nature is....and yeah...alot more truthful like [MENTION=22709]JohnSomebody[/MENTION] said

When I drank...I was a waayyyyyyyyyyyy too friendly slut.

[Darius]

Londoner, have I told you lately that I love you? You always crack me up.

[LONDONER]

Londoner, have I told you lately that I love you? You always crack me up.

Thank you Darius, it's always good to start the day with a smile.

[Darius]

Thank you Darius, it's always good to start the day with a smile.

A smile and a wank first thing in the morning!!

[cestmoi77]

haha. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh!

[LONDONER]

haha. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh!

Why not? It's a joke.