When is it okay to approach a guy about his sexuality?

[kjames]

If you even have to ask somebody because they haven't disclosed it means they are not particularly comfortable about it. If they are uncomfortable about it then most likely they will be defensive. It's always best to allow people to "come out" for themselves and not put them on the spot.

[Darius]

I like what kjames said. Listen to him.

[kindy64]

Discretely, asked a guy at a baseball game if he was gay on the way out of the stadium. It was awkward, but I did it so his friends wouldn't hear. He just said no I'm not. Didn't make a big scene about it.

I like the idea of just asking a guy out for drinks or something though, less confrontational.

[Lexington]

I think the tide is shifting here. It used to be it was NEVER a good idea to ask. Now, depending on the situation, the setting, and the basic climate...it can happen. I've never had to ask, but I've been asked a few times.

Lex

[himself]

I don't get out much, but there were a couple of times (twice doesn't sound like much but it may be more significant when put into context) in the past few years when people kept asking me over and over again if I was gay. So, maybe there's a lesson to be learned. If you ask someone if they are gay and they say no, just keep telling them that they really are gay.

[Virge]

Nah, I make it a point not to ask even when they set my gaydar off like smoke alarm. But it's funny how many "straight" guys I know have gotten around to talking about having done it with a guy or fantasies about doing it. I just let that go with something like, "Lots of guys do that. No big deal" and move on. The funny part is all the guys who told me are all tight friends so I do wonder which of them have been doing it with each other. There seems to be a whole lot of farm boy sex going on around here.