How to act when around annoying homophobe?

[Anonymous]

It's a person I see very often. This guy has a girlfriend and I honestly don't know what does he want from me and why doesn't he leave me alone. I never speak to him but he always happens to be where I am. He comments every my action in a disgusting way and sometimes asks stupid questions that I don't answer. It's weird but it seems that the more I ignore him, the more annoying he becomes. I'll mention some of the things he does.

Whenever he sees me, he comes up to me always. For example, I'm sitting down and doing something on my own and he comes, sits down next to me and and starts talking some weird things like -is it true you fags put corks up your asses because shit falls out otherwise?- or -you'll never be happy until you love a real woman- Or he talks about how disgusting he feels sitting next to me and that I should be sent to an isolated island.

Sometimes he tries to look into my phone or computer while I'm using it and when I turn away he says -oh looking at dicks, right?-

Sometimes he just randomly, without a reason comes up to me and says in a threatening voice that he has seen me staring at him and if I ever do that again, he'll punch my teeth out because he has a girlfriend and a normal orientation, not a sick one like mine. I never stare at him and this is something that happens very often - his reminding me that he's straight.

He's also making up conflict situations and says I was the one who caused them. For example, he bumps into me himself and make a scene that I was trying to paw him. If I go to the restroom, he comes right after me, takes the urinal next to me and then yells that I was looking at his penis.

Like I said, all these things are one sided. I've never spoken to him and never will, I ignore him and pretend there is no such person around me. However sometimes it's really hard to do. I cannot really avoid him so how to stand someone so nasty around you?

[Darius]

At the very least, he is a bully. He is terrorizing you without actually physically harming you.
The other thing could be that he is being hateful to you rather than toward himself because he might not be as straight as he wants to be.
I don't think there is anyway to know for sure.

Is this happening at college or in the work place? If so, there must be someone you can file a complaint with. How does he know you are gay in the first place?

[Anonymous]

Well, I wouldn't call it work place because it's not my actual job. It's more like a small second job for me, I only work for some hours there every day. No one looks at complains there, some people have complained already about other things and job conditions and they basically have been told to feel free to leave if they don't like something.

I made a mistake and told someone there that I was gay and she couldn't keep her mouth shut. Now everyone knows it, him included.

[Pyromancer]

At the very least, he is a bully. He is terrorizing you without actually physically harming you.
The other thing could be that he is being hateful to you rather than toward himself because he might not be as straight as he wants to be. I don't think there is anyway to know for sure.

Is this happening at college or in the work place? If so, there must be someone you can file a complaint with. How does he know you are gay in the first place?

This guy has issues...his behavior makes no sense if you take it at face value. If I detested someone that much, I wouldn't follow him around all day and try to provoke him...I certainly wouldn't follow him into the freaking bathroom!!

I agree with [MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION], if you're in a situation where you can speak to someone in authority about this you should...an employer or a school counselor. The more you ignore him, the more frantic he seems to get... I worry that it could escalate to something physical.

[Iceblink]

If it is a small, second job and they do not take complaints seriously, maybe look for another job to replace it. Nevertheless, report it. Even if they do not take seriously, it can put them on notice about something occurring in their place of business and being on notice about something like this can be useful to someone in the future if that person chooses to take legal action about the business ignoring workplace harassment.

Of course, this kind of advice is under the assumption you are in some Western country, not someplace like Riyadh or Kampala.

[jaxc]

If you don't mind taking the low road, and if your a fairly physically fit, I would just knock him the f*** out and tell him to back off, but if you insist on being mature and rational, than i would go to any trust worthy authority figure about it and have them do something about it. But...if they really don't take complaints seriously there, there's always the low road

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Since this is a second job, its time for you to move on - quit ASAP.

Also, I strongly advise you to make certain he has no idea where you live.

This is not 'homophobia' that you are experiencing, this is an abuser who is using the disguise of being homophobic to terrorize and abuse you.

Since he has threatened your life, it is now time to see out the advice of an attorney on how to pursue this matter via legal channels. At the very least he has emotionally damaged you (which he could be forced to pay money to you for that damage) and the most he is a threat to you and your safety and should be slapped with a restraining order.

Again, this is NOT homophobia, this is a guy with an abusive personality who has found a way to victimize you and not feel threatened that others will frown on his 'picking on the faggot'.

And that is why hate crime laws are getting thicker and addressing such activities as stalking, sexual harassment and taking threats of harm deadly serious.

[MikeW]

I don't know how old you are but you sound young. I don't know where you live, but could be the US. Find out what laws there are concerning sexual harassment in the workplace. THAT is what he is doing. Keep careful records of what he does, when he does it. WRITE IT DOWN. If you can secretly record him making threats or harassing you, do so. Take your evidence to your supervisor and tell them if he isn't kept away from you, you will file a sexual harassment complaint *against them*.

[Cuddly]

He's just a nutjob. Probably a closetcase. The only way his behavior makes sense is by him craving your attention and likely being in love with you.
Keep ignoring him and don't let this one guy ruin your day.

[CellarDweller]

Replace the job with another job, just get away from him.