Thinking of dating a women

[artyboy]

Hey I think of myself as gay but I keep having the idea of trying it out with a woman. Not sure its a good idea but Ive never been with a women really.

So is it a good idea or is a selfish thing to do?

[ijulianv]

Are you thinking of dating a woman because you're questioning your sexuality? Honestly, if you aren't 100% sure you're gay it can't hurt to try it out so you're sure. With that said, if you're thinking of doing it to try to fit into societal norms I'd take a step back and make sure you're being true to yourself. You have a whole community here if you need any support.

[artyboy]

Its been in the back of head for years, part of me thinks its just a fantasy more than anything.

But looking at porn and actually having a relationship are to different things.

I know the gay is just a label but its a little be more than that sometimes,

Thanks ijulianv.

The thing Im worried about is hurting the woman I date if it all goes wrong.

[MikeW]

The thing Im worried about is hurting the woman I date if it all goes wrong.

I don't understand this concern. Dating is not getting married; not even going steady! If you want to identify as a bisexual (or w/e) there's no reason you can't date whomever you'd like. It only gets potentially problematic at the point where you begin a "committed" relationship, right, or am I missing something?

[artyboy]

I don't understand this concern. Dating is not getting married; not even going steady! If you want to identify as a bisexual (or w/e) there's no reason you can't date whomever you'd like. It only gets potentially problematic at the point where you begin a "committed" relationship, right, or am I missing something?

Part of me thinks women might accept my disability more than guys, but then I keep looking at porn with women with it in, though look at the guys turns me on more etc, but I do like looking at women as much as guys. But again there have only been a few women that I have actually wanted to sleep with. But again on the other side I keep having fantasies about having a normal life, though I know how that sounds.

I label myself as gay but with bi tendency, which I know doesn't mean nothing these days.

Women do scare me a little though to which is hard to explain.

[Anocxu]

If you promise to treat whomever you prioritize affectionately with honesty, empathy,love and respect,
You have my blessing.
Ps.
Consider experimenting with a female in the same situation?
Or...
"She" Should know up front.. you are bi-curious.

[MikeW]

I label myself as gay but with bi tendency, which I know doesn't mean nothing these days.

Women do scare me a little though to which is hard to explain.

Well, most anything unknown is a bit scary. Women *are* psychologically different from men but, indeed, that's difficult to explain. I find I'm more attracted to some women than others... it depends... like, I'm not at all attracted to women's clothing, makeup, boobs, or things that most straight men (apparently) are attracted to. The women I'm attracted to *tend* to have more "masculine" (for lack of a word) characteristics: Strength, intelligence, independence, even a bit of attitude toward men. I've been known to be completely fooled by some butch lesbians!

[artyboy]

Well, most anything unknown is a bit scary. Women *are* psychologically different from men but, indeed, that's difficult to explain. I find I'm more attracted to some women than others... it depends... like, I'm not at all attracted to women's clothing, makeup, boobs, or things that most straight men (apparently) are attracted to. The women I'm attracted to *tend* to have more "masculine" (for lack of a word) characteristics: Strength, intelligence, independence, even a bit of attitude toward men. I've been known to be completely fooled by some butch lesbians!

I dont get the boobs thing.

lol Is that a normal thing with gay guys some with butch lesbians lol!?

[MikeW]

lol Is that a normal thing with gay guys some with butch lesbians lol!?

I've never been "normal" so about that I wouldn't know. However, several times in my life I've been checking out some really hot guy only to realize at some point, OMFG IT'S A LESBIAN!

[artyboy]

I've never been "normal" so about that I wouldn't know. However, several times in my life I've been checking out some really hot guy only to realize at some point, OMFG IT'S A LESBIAN!

Ive done it a few times myself so I know what you mean.

I need to get my confidence back to do any sort of dating first.

I think I need to give a go a couple of times, us dating sites etc and see how I feel about it. I might find in the getting to know part Im not interested really.

BTW I would say straight away Im bi, no point in chatting away with people to find out they dont like bi guys etc! Im disabled so I know the drill with telling people things that they might not like etc.