So I'm currently in the process of coming out to friends and family, and I've realized I'm starting to fall for a guy who I haven't met...
Essentially, he goes to school with a bunch of my friends, and I've found him VERY cute in their pics. I've also chatted to him a few times on an online dating app, but he's very bad at responding so it hasn't turned into anything more.
Since we've never met, who knows if we'll hit it off (but I honestly think we'd be perfect for each other based on everything I know). I'll be attending school with him in the fall, but it's so far away to wait until then to ask him out - I'm worried he'll find someone else by then haha. However, he doesn't check that app much at all, and I don't want to come across as creepy since we don't truly know each other. The only other option I can see is ask my friends to set us up this summer, but I don't fully feel comfortable with that since I'm just coming out (and they may find it weird too, especially since I don't actually know him).
What would you suggest? Should I wait until the fall to get things started (because, again, these messages aren't working), or should I awkwardly talk to my friends about this? Any advice appreciated!
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Cool it for the moment and then you can say hi in the fall.
I bid NO Trump!
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So... wait. You haven't met but you know OF him... How does that work? (I realize things are different these days what with FB, txtng and all but I don't get it.)
Is he aware of YOU? Do you "exist" in his world (so to say)?
General rule of thumb: IF A BOY IS INTERESTED IN YOU HE'S LIKE A FLY ON SHIT. If he's more like "mehh" then, who the fuck knows. Could be he has "other things" (or someone else) already on his mind.
But, trust me, EVEN IF, he "finds someone else"... chances are it won't last more than a month or so, especially once he's back at school. THEN you can pounce!
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MikeW Wrote:So... wait. You haven't met but you know OF him... How does that work? (I realize things are different these days what with FB, txtng and all but I don't get it.)
Is he aware of YOU? Do you "exist" in his world (so to say)?
General rule of thumb: IF A BOY IS INTERESTED IN YOU HE'S LIKE A FLY ON SHIT. If he's more like "mehh" then, who the fuck knows. Could be he has "other things" (or someone else) already on his mind.
But, trust me, EVEN IF, he "finds someone else"... chances are it won't last more than a month or so, especially once he's back at school. THEN you can pounce!
Thank you both for the advice. And yes, I know I sound crazy in my description haha.
I'm not as creepy as I sound, but I did look at his Facebook/Instagram/etc once I started talking to him on the online app and realized we had a few mutual friends and saw we had many of the same interests. Clearly, those things do not describe a person, and there's so much more I want to learn about him. Just hoping I get that opportunity on some dates, but I don't want to start it out as a creep by stalking him or getting my friends awkwardly involved.
I am pretty sure I don't exist in his mind. However, in the fall I certainly will since we'll see each other almost everyday. I'm just hoping everyday that, if he finds a guy in the next couple months, you are right and it does phase out haha. I'll be fine if it doesn't work out with us after I have a date with him, but right now I feel we'll click so well (and I want him so badly clearly haha) that I'm getting desperate. Worst case scenario and there will be other guys, I know - and I've done my share (and am way past that phase now). But we're from a city with few good guys, and I finally feel like I'll be finding the one for me.
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Your last post hasn't shown up yet, [MENTION=19753]nm1012[/MENTION] but don't fret it will eventually... and in the mean time the system emails it to us. (This is just the way the system tries to keep the troll population down, don't take it personal.)
SO... ok, granted I'm older than dirt, but what I don't understand is... You've chatted on apps?? Why haven't you exchanged phone numbers??? I would. Then I'd say, "Hey, want to get together sometime?"
I mean, what have you got to loose... especially if pickns is slim in your neck of the woods... same must be true for him, yeah?
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MikeW Wrote:Your last post hasn't shown up yet, [MENTION=19753]nm1012[/MENTION] but don't fret it will eventually... and in the mean time the system emails it to us. (This is just the way the system tries to keep the troll population down, don't take it personal.)
SO... ok, granted I'm older than dirt, but what I don't understand is... You've chatted on apps?? Why haven't you exchanged phone numbers??? I would. Then I'd say, "Hey, want to get together sometime?"
I mean, what have you got to loose... especially if pickns is slim in your neck of the woods... same must be true for him, yeah? Haha, I was confused about that. Thank you!
The issue is that he rarely checks the app. He almost never responds (apparently to everyone on it), so we never even got to that point in the conversation. Otherwise, yes, I would have asked him out by this point. You are right that it is slim pickings for both of us. I'm fairly certain he's perfect for me (again, that may change once we actually meet and get to know each other), but hopefully I'm not the worst thing on Earth for him either haha.
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You are not in love with him, you are in love with the idea of him.
Those are two vastly different individuals.
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:You are not in love with him, you are in love with the idea of him.
Those are two vastly different individuals.
Haha I never said I was in love with him. And I know, you are very correct that he could be very different than what I'm hoping. But I've never felt this way about any guy before (and I've been with my share). I have high standards, and I do think he'll meet them. The bigger issues are whether I'll even get the chance to find out more and whether he'll be into me.
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nm1012 Wrote:Haha, I was confused about that. Thank you!
The issue is that he rarely checks the app. He almost never responds (apparently to everyone on it), so we never even got to that point in the conversation. Otherwise, yes, I would have asked him out by this point. You are right that it is slim pickings for both of us. I'm fairly certain he's perfect for me (again, that may change once we actually meet and get to know each other), but hopefully I'm not the worst thing on Earth for him either haha. At this point, I'm beginning to think you SHOULD "stalk" him. If your neck of the woods is as small as you suggest, then, hell there can't be THAT many places to "hang out" during summer break, right? I bet you could figure out some way of getting your paths to cross if you put your mind to it. hehehe. 
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MikeW Wrote:At this point, I'm beginning to think you SHOULD "stalk" him. If your neck of the woods is as small as you suggest, then, hell there can't be THAT many places to "hang out" during summer break, right? I bet you could figure out some way of getting your paths to cross if you put your mind to it. hehehe.
Yeah I've started thinking about places I could find him, but being realistic it's unlikely it'll work out that way. I feel as though the fall is the best time I'll make this work since I'll actually see him consistently at that point. I know I sound crazy to most people on here, and I am fully aware this may not turn out how I want it to. But I'll be more upset with myself if I don't try because I have a good feeling we're very good for each other.
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