Do you need to be 'broken in'?

[himself]

When bottoming, do you need to be 'broken in' like a pair of shoes or a new liver?

I went out to a gay bar last night. I went home with a boy. He said there was no pressure, we could just spoon. Usually, I have no problem getting it up, especially when I touch people. But over the past few months, I have been thinking about my sexuality and, possibly by some coincidence, I remain flaccid when I'm kissing/touching other boys. I couldn't get hard enough to top (possibly due to the alcohol) so I decided to bottom. He started by fingering me (and I felt like I could cum, or maybe wet myself, even though I wasn't that hard) and then he tried to penetrate me. He started off gentle, then he just rammed it in and I screamed. It really burned. I was scared - I thought I was going to have to go to hospital but the pain quickly died away. Thank God I was sober enough to feel the pain, though. If I weren't, I might not have stopped it and there might have been a bloody mess afterwards. The people upstairs were laughing at me and, after the pain had died down, I could see the funny side. The rimming and fingering was quite interesting, though. I haven't gone to the toilet yet today. I am not looking forward to that. Wish me luck.

Also, a boy bought me a drink earlier that night. I felt kind of guilty about that because I wasn't really feeling it. Maybe going to bars isn't for me. But I gave him a hand job in the toilets, just out of common courtesy. I don't believe in free drinks. There was no kissing involved either, it was just a day at the office, really. He was watching me at the bar. I bought a bottle of Stella Artois and he bought me another one. I should have bought a bottle of Desperados so he would have bought me another one. But that's just an aside.

[Edward]

When it comes to anal, you have to be gentle and slow always. Nothing has to be broken in and this guy you met, obviously doesn't have a clue about how it needs to be done.

[LJay]

As for the drink, an unsolicited gift does not require any reciprocation other than a polite thank you.

You might do well to get online and look up "anal intercourse" to get some instruction as to technique. There should not be a great deal of pain initially if it is all done well. As you become more experienced, most people have less pain or other difficulty.

You are completely correct in surmising that your mental attitude toward all of this plays a large role.

[Anocxu]

After rimming and fingering...
Your top should have an idea what your "capacity" is...?

Those first few minutes of penetration can set the tone for the entire sexual experience.

Btw .. you are the bottom... you have control...
If a top looks eager to "bust in" you'll know..
He rushes foreplay..is inattentive to your responses... just rushing to get to your .......

You should set the pace... not him.
A caring top should encourage you to set the pace instead of trying to split you open like a coconut...

Take more control ...
Hugs

[Lexington]

It's less "breaking in" and more "getting prepared". An inexperienced bottom usually needs to be "opened up" slowly and carefully, less for physical reasons and more for mental ones. It's a new physical sensation that contradicts a couple deacdes of training ("keep your back door shut"), and when you factor in the nervousness, it can take some time and effort. I once spent about half an hour getting a guy to relax enough to let me in - it just took a lot of time, patience, making out, lube, and finger play. Worth it? Hell yes. And after the first time, it gets easier - not he ause you're "broken in" but because you're now a bit better at it.

And yeah, stop feeling you owe guys stuff. Thank them for the beer, and skip the handy unless you feel like giving one. And stick with making out or oral if you're not up for bottoming.

Lex

[MikeW]

When bottoming, do you need to be 'broken in' like a pair of shoes or a new liver?....

Livers need to be broken in?? :eek:

OH... you mean POUNDED, like my mom used to do before cooking one???



In any case, to your question.... No, not exactly. However, as others have said, for most of us anal sex doesn't exactly come "naturally". We've been trained to keep our sphincters tightly clinched. THAT is the primary reason for the pain. A good top will help you relax -- mentally and physically -- and get to the point where you CRAVE having him inside you. Practicing with a dildo, learning how to relax those muscles and 'push out' while letting something in, can also help.

[himself]

It was probably the size as well. He had a very thick dick. But he did ram it into me. I should have known he wasn't going to go easy on me when he told me to bite down on something. I think he was attentive, he just got a bit carried away. To his credit, he stopped when I screamed and he apologised for hurting me. Next time, I will probably be a top. I've been scared off bottoming for life. Also, there were no first few minutes of penetration. He just shoved it in my ass and it ended there because I was in so much pain. He kept talking about how innocent I was, in an "Awwww" sort of way. He was happy enough just to cuddle, which I assume is a rarity. And, he gave me a slice of pizza, which was a kind thing to do but I'm going to have to shit that out soon and I don't think that's going to be a very pleasant experience.

Thank you for the hugs. My asshole needs a lot of hugs today. And kisses.

[himself]

Livers need to be broken in?? :eek:

I was referring to a quote by John Phillips of The Mamas & The Papas. He had to have a liver transplant and, soon afterwards, he was photographed drinking alcohol. He said he was just trying to break in the new liver.

[MikeW]

I was referring to a quote by John Phillips of The Mamas & The Papas. He had to have a liver transplant and, soon afterwards, he was photographed drinking alcohol. He said he was just trying to break in the new liver.

I C

[Anocxu]

It was probably the size as well. He had a very thick dick. But he did ram it into me. I should have known he wasn't going to go easy on me when he told me to bite down on something. I think he was attentive, he just got a bit carried away. To his credit, he stopped when I screamed and he apologised for hurting me. Next time, I will probably be a top. I've been scared off bottoming for life. Also, there were no first few minutes of penetration. He just shoved it in my ass and it ended there because I was in so much pain. He kept talking about how innocent I was, in an "Awwww" sort of way. He was happy enough just to cuddle, which I assume is a rarity. And, he gave me a slice of pizza, which was a kind thing to do but I'm going to have to shit that out soon and I don't think that's going to be a very pleasant experience.

Thank you for the hugs. My asshole needs a lot of hugs today. And kisses.

Ladies and gentlemen....
This is the true definition of the word .."Butthurt"

.... Sitting on a frozen steak helps..!!
Not really...