Pray For Me Please

[gayboyindia24]

Ok guys. My life has come to a stand still and it is God's ultimatum.

Two days ago, I came across a guy who invited me for high fun ( sex with d...s). I had never ever tried in my life though I had tried pop...s and it is because of the urge, I guess I went one more step ahead.

It was a 4 some -2tops&2 bottoms.and I was the bottom. Though I was still in control that no matter what, condom has to be there.

Both the guys Top X & Top Y fucked me one by one however the Top X fucked me in the beginning and then Top Y fucked me. I saw Top X fucking the other bottom bareback. While Top Y was fucking me with condom.

Though Top X kept pursuing me to try bareback like zillion times but I kept saying no. In fact he tried to trick me but I still caught him and didn't allow him.

But at one point Top X fucked me and suddenly I realised condom broke and I pushed him away but I doubt he purposely tore it and pretending as if it broke just like that and similarly it happened with the other guy too but still I can somewhat trust the other guy.

Okay ..the session was happening in a hotel and I started at around 5:30 pm to 11:30 pm and by then I must have had injected thrice but yes every time we used different needles that I am 100%sure off.

I was in fear at the same time that hotel stuff may barge in. At 12midnight, one more guy joined in and Top X fucked him bareback too. All he (X) used to say that he is safe.

Now, once i left that hotel at midnight, I was shivering, feeling weak, full of guilt, disgust and at the same time fear because I was worried what if something happens to one of those guys, someone gets an overdose and die, I would be fucked along with them too.

I came back to my room, tried to puke, took a shower cried out my heart, tried to get that smell from my body. I couldn't sleep that night, flashes of that scary scene kept appearing and I was freaking out.

Next day I went to the doctor and he suggested me to relax, calm down and asked me to go for a test after 3 months.

I told this to my gay friend of mine, he also made me calm down a bit and said God would help me this time.

I met another doctor today, he has also said the same thing but for my mental satisfaction, he has asked me to go for a rapid test in a day or two.

Guys. I don't know what would be the result, it may not detect in the 1st test but in the 2nd test which is after 3months. I am scared to death, I am not being able to relax. Though I keep trying in between but suddenly those scary flashes appear in front of my eyes and it chills down my spine and I freak out & start feeling cold.

I know, I don't deserve good words from you. I am the biggest looser, the worst son and a worst person.

But my fellows, I need your help. PLEASE ask God a last chance for me. You don't know me and I don't mean anything to you guys but PLEASE for a second emphatise with me.

If you want to abuse me, say whatever you want to but still PRAY FOR ME. I really believe, prayer has power especially if it's from the heart and in uniso

I just hope my results turn out to be negative. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.

[JohnSomebody]

I know someone who did the same thing as you did and he too freaked out as well. You may find this difficult at this time to comprehend to but the only advice that I can offer you at this time is prayer. Prayer does work in miraculous ways. There is a saying that I was taught years ago that goes "Let Go and Let God" and although this is a simplistic phrase but it is very effective as well especially for those individuals who have faith as minimal as a mustard seed so to speak. I will also keep you in my prayers as well. But the advice that you were given to calm down and relax is advice to follow. In reality...the phrase "shoulda woulda coulda" is out of the question to focus on regret because at this point what's done is done and you can't go back and erase it. I sincerely hope that once you get through this ....that a valuable lesson is learned...Take Care and God Bless...JS

[Edward]

I hope you'll be fine. And be smarter next time.

[ceez]

Don't worry about anyone putting you down here, there's a lot of good people here and some might have been in your situation before. I myself have never done drugs but if you can't fight the urge then I would definitely say don't do it with anyone you don't know and there are some guys out there that will tell you what you want to hear to get you in bed. For now you should try to relax and take the test in 3 months and of course stay away from drugs, stuff still can get transferred to you if you're sharing needles. I'll be praying for you

[East]

If you want me to send you a prayer or some positive thoughts...you have to do something for me as well...or I won't play...

Here is what you need to do...STOP calling yourself a loser...and stop referring to yourself as the "worst person"....because in order to receive any cosmic blessings..you need to bless yourself with some love and acceptance...or it won 't matter how many other people are pulling for you...

If you can do that..let me know...

[MikeW]

There is no fucking "God" that is going to "help" you. That's as ridiculous as you calling yourself a "boy" when you're a 27 year old grown man. Being a man means taking responsibility for your actions. If you want to have group sex of questionable safety while using intravenous drugs, fine, go right ahead. But you need to accept the responsibility for your choices and your actions and whatever consequences go along with them instead of crying like a baby and coming here asking us to prey to some non-existent God to save you from yourself. Even if there were such a God, why the hell do you think he/she/it would give one iota of a damn about your self-created problem? Grow the fuck up.

[Camfer]

Look, there are no fatal sexually transmitted infections as long as they are treated. You've done the right thing by going to a doctor or two. If it's been within the last 72 hours that this happened, talk to your doctor about going on PEP, which is taking HIV medication for about 30 days to prevent any possible virus from replicating, thus preventing seroconversion.

Now you need get yourself out of this panic mode. Use this as a wake up call so you make better choices in the future. Develop a plan that you will deal with the consequences of your past actions in the most effective manner. Follow the plan. Don't beat yourself up for your mistakes. You are human and humans sometimes have poor judgement.

No matter the outcome from this event, you are going to be okay. But what about the next time? What changes are you going to make? How will you accomplish this? Think about it after you stop the panic.

Sending you my best wishes that you remain uninfected.

[Chase]

The gods help those who help themselves.
Trust in the medical professionals. I've never seen a god cure someone of a disease, but I've seen medical doctors cure many.
Don't shoot yourself up with needles and have unprotected sex. What you are going through right now will come to pass, but it can always happen again. Learn from your experiences. Don't ever left anyone pressure you into doing drugs or having unprotected sex. If they do, you should stop being around them.

[Anocxu]

You went to a doctor right after and you weren't offered PEP as an option?

[Jettalove]

You’ve gotten some great advice here already. I do believe in the power of prayer and I will pray for you tonight.

I’ll share my panic story. It may not be quite comparable to what you’re dealing with, but I do know in a sense what you’re going through. I lost my virginity in college to a guy one night after I drank way too much at happy hour. I knew him to be someone that slept around quite a bit. I was completely drunk and not making the right choices - however, I was aware enough to insist that he wear a condom. He brushed it off at first but I kept insisting and made him go to the bathroom to retrieve it. He brought it back to bed and said he put it on. The next morning, I awoke and found the condom, still unwrapped, on my bed. Had I been sober of course, I would have noticed that he had never put it on. Needless to say, I was furious with him and myself, and scared shitless.

For the next 6 months I was seriously ridden with anxiety. Every little symptom I felt was torture. I was convinced I had HIV or had contracted some other disease. I wasn’t able to even bring myself to get tested, I think at that time the quicker test either didn’t exist or I didn’t know about it. I had difficulty concentrating on anything and lived in a state of perpetual anxiety. Finally, about six months later, I was able to shake it off when I met someone and was distracted by love. The takeaway here is once you’ve done everything you can (you have), and hopefully learned from this, the best thing would be to try and distract yourself with something, anything you can get passionate about. Change your surroundings, pick up a new hobby, find some new friends. And remember, this too shall pass.