Coming out

[huw cymru]

Yes well zeon. it can be a lot worse. Whilst Leeds was always the fisrt division team I supported when I was a kid , my local footbalteam where I stood on the teraces was Shrewsbury Town. Whose ground was called the 'Gay Meadow' . Imagine how much shit I had to take for saying I was proud to stand on those terraces

[fjp999]

feel very lucky to have come out while at uni in the 80s... was a very very odd feeling as SOME didnt accept or ever hear the words coming OUT of my mouth... yes, very odd.

I do recommend it but it is a personal choice... best of luck with what you decide and that you have the happiest of lives.

[min1112]

I'm 21 and feel just as petrified as you do to come out to my family and other friends (I started the process about a year ago of accepting my sexuality and telling those closest to me) so I think it's always going to be hard no matter what.

[acholooz]

selkieboy, I couldn't emphasize with you more stongly. Unless you wanted to be a martyr opening admitting any gay feeling in our youth was not an option. You may not be in this position, I am, but the thought of coming out of the closet to your own children, for me at least, is far beyond that of parents and freinds. How would it be if my own children were so revolted (although they like to think they're modern and have gay & bi freinds it might be a bit different to adjust to their dad being queer) that they couldn't relate to me in the same way any more. I couldn't cope with that.

[marshlander]

selkieboy, I couldn't emphasize with you more stongly. Unless you wanted to be a martyr opening admitting any gay feeling in our youth was not an option. You may not be in this position, I am, but the thought of coming out of the closet to your own children, for me at least, is far beyond that of parents and freinds. How would it be if my own children were so revolted (although they like to think they're modern and have gay & bi freinds it might be a bit different to adjust to their dad being queer) that they couldn't relate to me in the same way any more. I couldn't cope with that.

I did that and it is very tough. The results were mixed and mostly not what I expected. The daughter I thought would understand the most had the toughest time. Fortunately, we had solid foundations on which to repair the damage, but I still feel I have to be a little careful about what I say to whom.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. Your kids have a right to know you can be happy though ;-)

[Australia]

Dont feel like you have to come out to everyone. If it will destroy a relationship with someone and they dont really need to know then Id just leave it. Thats how Im dealing with it. I tell the people who I love and I believe need to know, and the ones who dont really need to know or who I know will freak out about it I just dont tell. If they find out then so be it but Im not causing a bunch of chaos for no reason. So maybe just tell a few people who you think will be ok with it, maybe women friends ?

[zeon]

i must admit football has a nasty habit of homophobic remarks mind u all i gotta do is adventure out of brighton and u get stick for admitting u come from brighton

[Hot Wet Hunk]

see if ur family an take it ?

I came out at 24 to family and has been hounded upon ever since to get married

[marshlander]

see if ur family an take it ?

I came out at 24 to family and has been hounded upon ever since to get married

Sorry to hear that HWH. You could always always take a trip to Canada, or the Netherlands or Spain etc and get married to a nice man. Would that shut them up?

[Joe123]

I'm in a pretty similar situation... I guess itisn't all that different to what most people in here are saying though.

I'm an average kid, pretty clever but not so many friends. I spend most my time working with my computer but recently I've come to see that I'm gay. My main problem is that I don't know who to tell. I don't have anyone very close to me: no friends, distant parents; the only people I really feel close to are on the other side of the world and we only ever talk over the internet.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? I can't carry on like this but I don't know what to do about it.