08-12-2015, 12:33 PM
This is sort of a complex situation. Not really, it's just weird to explain.
So, my now former best friend cruelly cut me out of his life 13 months ago. It was hell for me for a while. He said the most horrid things to me and, after insisting he wanted to be my friend, didn't speak to me at all for 5 months while he studied abroad. Needless to say, I was hurting. I just needed to talk to him, confront him, etc. My only chance was to join a club at school, befriend someone my old best friend knew, and hope he would help me out. Don't get me wrong, I definitely wanted to be his friend too, and thankfully that's what we became. I got to confront my old best friend, we moved on, and now I've been good friends with the new guy for a good 7 or 8 months now. Due to the circumstances that brought us together, we're closer than most people get in that amount of time. We're good friends, both agreeing we're developing a deep friendship.
Anyway, my birthday's coming up in a few months, and I tend to make fast friends every new semester, especially attractive female ones. With the possibility looming, I asked my buddy yesterday if a sexually attractive girl happened to be at my birthday party and they hit it off and she wanted to go off and hook up if he would go for it, and he said if he was drunk he most likely would, if he was sober he said he honestly didn't know.
Now, idk. Birthdays are a big deal to me. Growing up I went through a lot of bad stuff, and my birthday was always the one day that energy was focused on me in a solely positive way, so now I view them as really awesome and meaningful occasions. I can't really explain it fully, but having him tell me he would ditch me at my own birthday party to go hook up really got under my skin. It would mean a lot to have my few good friends there, and to hear I would just get ditched so he can get laid just hurt a little.
I respected his honesty and willingness to speak the truth, but there's no amount of alcohol that could get me to ditch a friend on their birthday so I could get laid at their own party with someone they invited there. It just shocked me. Dude's got a heart of gold and has been a good and loyal friend to me, but this just really hurt. He even said when he told me that he knew that wouldn't be at all what I wanted but knowing himself, if he were drunk he would go for it.
Like I said, no amount of alcohol could get me to ditch a buddy like that on such an occasion. What really got me was him saying he didn't know if, when sober and totally lucid, if he'd stick around with me the one time out of the year it's really important to me or go get some and he'd be "on the fence." I was mad cause honestly I think he DOES know what he'd do sober and quite frankly I think I do too. It just hurt to have him say that sober or not he would ever allow his hormones to decide that hooking up with some random girl he met at my birthday party would supersede being there for me on my own birthday at my own birthday party.
NOW I KNOW THAT THIS WAS A HYPOTHETICAL TO BEGIN WITH, but the fact that it's totally plausible and knowing that's how he would behave makes me sort of question how really sees me as a friend. It was agreed we'd talk about it today, but I'm not totally sure what to make of all of this. I know I'm kind of upset and hurt, but it's hard to really turn into a dialogue and I need some help. Am I just being a hypersensitive doofus?
TL;DR: Good friend of mine told me that, drunk or not, he'd pick hooking up with a girl over hanging out with me at my own birthday party and ditch me there and today I'm meant to talk about it with him.
So, my now former best friend cruelly cut me out of his life 13 months ago. It was hell for me for a while. He said the most horrid things to me and, after insisting he wanted to be my friend, didn't speak to me at all for 5 months while he studied abroad. Needless to say, I was hurting. I just needed to talk to him, confront him, etc. My only chance was to join a club at school, befriend someone my old best friend knew, and hope he would help me out. Don't get me wrong, I definitely wanted to be his friend too, and thankfully that's what we became. I got to confront my old best friend, we moved on, and now I've been good friends with the new guy for a good 7 or 8 months now. Due to the circumstances that brought us together, we're closer than most people get in that amount of time. We're good friends, both agreeing we're developing a deep friendship.
Anyway, my birthday's coming up in a few months, and I tend to make fast friends every new semester, especially attractive female ones. With the possibility looming, I asked my buddy yesterday if a sexually attractive girl happened to be at my birthday party and they hit it off and she wanted to go off and hook up if he would go for it, and he said if he was drunk he most likely would, if he was sober he said he honestly didn't know.
Now, idk. Birthdays are a big deal to me. Growing up I went through a lot of bad stuff, and my birthday was always the one day that energy was focused on me in a solely positive way, so now I view them as really awesome and meaningful occasions. I can't really explain it fully, but having him tell me he would ditch me at my own birthday party to go hook up really got under my skin. It would mean a lot to have my few good friends there, and to hear I would just get ditched so he can get laid just hurt a little.
I respected his honesty and willingness to speak the truth, but there's no amount of alcohol that could get me to ditch a friend on their birthday so I could get laid at their own party with someone they invited there. It just shocked me. Dude's got a heart of gold and has been a good and loyal friend to me, but this just really hurt. He even said when he told me that he knew that wouldn't be at all what I wanted but knowing himself, if he were drunk he would go for it.
Like I said, no amount of alcohol could get me to ditch a buddy like that on such an occasion. What really got me was him saying he didn't know if, when sober and totally lucid, if he'd stick around with me the one time out of the year it's really important to me or go get some and he'd be "on the fence." I was mad cause honestly I think he DOES know what he'd do sober and quite frankly I think I do too. It just hurt to have him say that sober or not he would ever allow his hormones to decide that hooking up with some random girl he met at my birthday party would supersede being there for me on my own birthday at my own birthday party.
NOW I KNOW THAT THIS WAS A HYPOTHETICAL TO BEGIN WITH, but the fact that it's totally plausible and knowing that's how he would behave makes me sort of question how really sees me as a friend. It was agreed we'd talk about it today, but I'm not totally sure what to make of all of this. I know I'm kind of upset and hurt, but it's hard to really turn into a dialogue and I need some help. Am I just being a hypersensitive doofus?
TL;DR: Good friend of mine told me that, drunk or not, he'd pick hooking up with a girl over hanging out with me at my own birthday party and ditch me there and today I'm meant to talk about it with him.
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