08-06-2015, 05:10 PM
I`ve been through a lot of things lately. Picking some pieces of me that I have left behind and fix `em. I know that I sound dramatic or whatever you call it, but this is who I am. I maybe annoying sometimes but I know some of you could relate on this and understand.
Am I Not Good Enough? A lot of times I question myself: what's wrong with me? What's not to love in me? What's so complicated about me? What's lacking in me? I torture myself into thinking these kinds of questions because people keep saying, "you're sweet or you're cute or you're kind" and all, "why don't you have a partner yet? We know that you`ve been through a lot, like lost someone you love or being on a situation you cant control it anymore. However, you have to forget all of that and moved on with your life." Then I tell them, I don't know because the only rhing I know is to work hard for myself. But then they are right, I need to leave my pasted behind and moved on with my life. I feel like that I want or needing someone to love and be loved. I`ve tried to balance everything on me. My personal life and work. I know some of you knows me and my stories, but Im coming back here because this is only the group or forum that I can express my feelings. This pasted few months, I also tried finding someone like joining on a web page/group like us. Like I was trying to sell my self online. Putting on my profile that “I am looking for someone whos not into physical appearance or status in life. someone who will accept me for who I am and what I have. Someone can be trusted, loyal and repectful. Someone that I can be with through ups and down, for better or for worst. Someone that no matter what happen we will stick together. Because for me... love is not always what you think in your mind, its what you feel in your heart.” It took like a month for someone who tried to message me. Some of them just want a one night stand, some of them makes you fall inlove with them then they will leave you behind if they get want they wanted from you. Yes... I admit that I have met some of them and some are just want to play with you. It`s frustrating and it`s like I don`t believe in love anymore.
Am I not good enough for people nowadays? Is there a certain criteria I have to follow?
I'm not complaining about not having a partner in life, but I also want to experience again having someone there to take care of me, knowing that he thinks of me often and misses me at times. Someone whom I'm constantly in love with and who's constantly in love with me. Someone whom I can share my problems, ideas and thoughts with. Someone who can sing for me and whom I can create music with. Or even someone who'll say good night to me in the hope of waking up in the morning knowing that he's still there and will always be there for me. Someone whom I can be myself with, someone who can laugh at my corny jokes or even make corny jokes so I can laugh. Someone whom I can always trust, respectful and will always be honest with me. Of course, I also want to be all this for that person. Maybe because they're intimidated that I'm working already at such a young age (I started working when I was 17 years old) and told them my experiences in life.
I can say I'm happy being single but for once I would like to try that so-called "having butterflies in the stomach again" kind of feeling when you're around the person you love and who loves you back. Of course, I know that it will not be all good. There may be sad times but that's all part of it.
Do I sound that desperate? I hope not. I just want to share it with you guys, after all this is a place or forum that we can express our feelings. Who wouldn't want to be loved by someone special anyway (I mean except for family and friends of course)? By the way, hows everyone here? Im kinda miss this forum and everyone in it (members and friends)....
Am I Not Good Enough? A lot of times I question myself: what's wrong with me? What's not to love in me? What's so complicated about me? What's lacking in me? I torture myself into thinking these kinds of questions because people keep saying, "you're sweet or you're cute or you're kind" and all, "why don't you have a partner yet? We know that you`ve been through a lot, like lost someone you love or being on a situation you cant control it anymore. However, you have to forget all of that and moved on with your life." Then I tell them, I don't know because the only rhing I know is to work hard for myself. But then they are right, I need to leave my pasted behind and moved on with my life. I feel like that I want or needing someone to love and be loved. I`ve tried to balance everything on me. My personal life and work. I know some of you knows me and my stories, but Im coming back here because this is only the group or forum that I can express my feelings. This pasted few months, I also tried finding someone like joining on a web page/group like us. Like I was trying to sell my self online. Putting on my profile that “I am looking for someone whos not into physical appearance or status in life. someone who will accept me for who I am and what I have. Someone can be trusted, loyal and repectful. Someone that I can be with through ups and down, for better or for worst. Someone that no matter what happen we will stick together. Because for me... love is not always what you think in your mind, its what you feel in your heart.” It took like a month for someone who tried to message me. Some of them just want a one night stand, some of them makes you fall inlove with them then they will leave you behind if they get want they wanted from you. Yes... I admit that I have met some of them and some are just want to play with you. It`s frustrating and it`s like I don`t believe in love anymore.
Am I not good enough for people nowadays? Is there a certain criteria I have to follow?
I'm not complaining about not having a partner in life, but I also want to experience again having someone there to take care of me, knowing that he thinks of me often and misses me at times. Someone whom I'm constantly in love with and who's constantly in love with me. Someone whom I can share my problems, ideas and thoughts with. Someone who can sing for me and whom I can create music with. Or even someone who'll say good night to me in the hope of waking up in the morning knowing that he's still there and will always be there for me. Someone whom I can be myself with, someone who can laugh at my corny jokes or even make corny jokes so I can laugh. Someone whom I can always trust, respectful and will always be honest with me. Of course, I also want to be all this for that person. Maybe because they're intimidated that I'm working already at such a young age (I started working when I was 17 years old) and told them my experiences in life.
I can say I'm happy being single but for once I would like to try that so-called "having butterflies in the stomach again" kind of feeling when you're around the person you love and who loves you back. Of course, I know that it will not be all good. There may be sad times but that's all part of it.
Do I sound that desperate? I hope not. I just want to share it with you guys, after all this is a place or forum that we can express our feelings. Who wouldn't want to be loved by someone special anyway (I mean except for family and friends of course)? By the way, hows everyone here? Im kinda miss this forum and everyone in it (members and friends)....
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Aries
Capricorn
later...
