The Church Lady
Sagittarius
08-17-2015, 08:40 PM
The lady was a southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday school every week.
One Sunday an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.
While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said: "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"
"Why yes, that would be nice", the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck.
On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested:
"Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"
"Oh, no," said the fine example of southern womanhood. "What ever would I tell my Sunday school class?"
Well, the gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked: "Would you like a smoke?"
"Oh my goodness no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my Sunday school class if I did !"
Well, the man felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with:
"Ahhh, how would you like to stop at this motel?"
"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation.
The gentleman couldn't believe his ears. He did a fast u-turn right then and there, drove back to the motel and checked in!
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible lovemaking imaginable, the gentleman awoke first.
He looked at the lovely dixie darlin' lying there in the bed and with remorse thought:
"What the hell have I done?"
He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday school class?"
The lady said: "The same thing I always tell them, 'You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time."
One Sunday an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.
While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said: "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"
"Why yes, that would be nice", the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck.
On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested:
"Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"
"Oh, no," said the fine example of southern womanhood. "What ever would I tell my Sunday school class?"
Well, the gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked: "Would you like a smoke?"
"Oh my goodness no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my Sunday school class if I did !"
Well, the man felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with:
"Ahhh, how would you like to stop at this motel?"
"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation.
The gentleman couldn't believe his ears. He did a fast u-turn right then and there, drove back to the motel and checked in!
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible lovemaking imaginable, the gentleman awoke first.
He looked at the lovely dixie darlin' lying there in the bed and with remorse thought:
"What the hell have I done?"
He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday school class?"
The lady said: "The same thing I always tell them, 'You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time."
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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Capricorn
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