New to GaySpeak

[Emiliano]

We stand to lose our lives in all sorts of daily circumstances, to be honest. Partaking in a programme to lose your fear of flying won't make you lose your life. You can then still decide that flying is not for you. But how come you would feel safe on a boat, or a train, when accidents on those modes of locomotion statistically kill more people (even if accidents remain rare)? The real killer is still the private cars, or the two wheelers.

I appreciate your suggestion of how to help and the place of rational thought that you're coming from, but to answer your question, I know that it is an irrational fear to be scared of flying and airplanes and that statistically they are safe and all that. But everything about it still freaks me out. It's also inexperience, I've never been on a plane before. And I'm happy not to ever go one. It'd be my luck that the one time I get in a plane, it'd crash or explode or get hijacked.

I'm also uncomfortable in cars, not anywhere near to the same level I feel about planes. But I really don't like riding in them, in friend's cars or taxis. I don't like parking lots either.

lol but I'm not neurotic or anything...

[Anocxu]

Maybe a plane ride will help you overcome your fear of potato chips?

[princealbertofb]

I appreciate your suggestion of how to help and the place of rational thought that you're coming from, but to answer your question, I know that it is an irrational fear to be scared of flying and airplanes and that statistically they are safe and all that. But everything about it still freaks me out. It's also inexperience, I've never been on a plane before. And I'm happy not to ever go one. It'd be my luck that the one time I get in a plane, it'd crash or explode or get hijacked.

I'm also uncomfortable in cars, not anywhere near to the same level I feel about planes. But I really don't like riding in them, in friend's cars or taxis. I don't like parking lots either.

lol but I'm not neurotic or anything...

Ok, @Emiliano, I won't push it anymore. Everything happens in its own time.
Just for the record, I didn't like flying much, even though I took my first flight to the USA when I was barely one year old. I don't remember the flight.

My next flight when I was about 21 or 22 was with a friend and it wasn't in the air that the problem lay. It was the year that a bomb was planted in Orly Airport (Paris), a terrorist attack against Turkish Airlines, and there was a bloody mess that prevented us from leaving on schedule. We waited for about 6 hours in the heat of July, wondering when our flight would finally leave, and unable (at the time) to phone the family in Connecticut that was awaiting our arrival but had heard of the explosion on tv and were wondering whether we were alive or injured, or even dead.... Those were days when nobody had cell phones and the payphones were absolutely unusable. You can imagine that when our plane finally took off, it was relief we felt from the emotion of seeing so many people's lives or holidays destroyed by an act of terrorism.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the next time I got on a plane was the time I felt exactly as you feel, an unfathomable fright of flying, and I was on my own then. Having had the experience of flying before, I realised how silly I was even though I'd just experienced all my blood draining from me (a blood pressure low?)

My partner hates flying too, but he's since flown so often to come and join me here, that he realises his fears are probably unwarranted...

I can't convince you any more than that, but needed you to know that I can totally relate to that irrational fear : I had it myself. I taught myself to distrust that fear. And I know that flying companies know how to work this psychological hindrance away.

[Alehksh]

So this will be my official message to you @Alehksh (too many Hs, btw, lol) and I hope you find here some of the answers that you've been waiting for. You are obviously new to all this except that you've grown up in a very different era from the likes of me or @MikeW (I have much esteem for the man). I know this will be of no consolation to you but I only had a real gay relationship starting about 13 years ago and I'm now 56 so can you see how long it can be before you start getting a life? In fact, I'm from a different generation and gay relationships were neither visible, nor the sort our parents wanted for us as we were growing up. Then came the AIDS crisis which didn't help as it added fear.

Parents today are a little cooler about it now that they've understood that it's part of the human makeup. Nevertheless, it can be hard to find an ideal partnership in your neighbourhood depending on how gay friendly and accepting the area is or your school environment is. I find kids very brave who can own up to being gay at school. Hopefully, despite all the bullying that still goes on in many places, even where same sex marriage is an option, they are finding places where they can be themselves and not have to hide it.

So my question to you is -- maybe you've answred this, I haven't read everything you've posted yet -- how does your family take the fact that you're gay? Do they actually know? What are your family circumstances? Who knows that your orientation is gay?

Thanks you! I am out to everybody I know and haven't had any problems in that aspect! Most of my family members are extremely cool about it too, as everyone should be.

[Alehksh]

Alehksh, if your grandparents have any tendency to sip on cocktails at all a couple of Sazeracs in New Orleans should have them ready to check out the sites. It is an incredible city. Get on the net and learn everything you can before you go and then soak in the place. Two things: the Quarter smells like garbage and Where you got yo' shoes is on yo' feet! And for goodness sake, eat. It is a food place;

We had a lot of Hurricanes which were really sweet and didn't taste like alcohol which made it really easy to go through a lot of them lol. I have read about New Orleans for years before I finally went on this vacation and I was so excited to see it. I was not disappointed at all. I fell in love with the place and I really want to go back!!

[LJay]

[MENTION=23020]Alehksh[/MENTION]:
I figured that would happen. Glad you had fun.

[Lycanthropist]

Welcome, Alehksh, from the lower half of Illinois that exists below I-80! I'm sure you'll enjoy your time here. As you know already, there are quite a few cool guys to converse with.