Finding attractive an image that most guys don't have

[subdivisions]

Wow I actually had long hair and a beard until fairly recently. I like to think of it as the viking look.

And it's no wonder you can't find many men sporting it. It makes finding work so much more difficult. With that hair you can't work with food and no one is going to employ you for customer service work unless it's over the phone. Even in other industries you're just sabotaging your chances at interview by looking "unprofessional". Plus there we're more than a few people who assumed I was a stoner.

No most of the guys with that style are either students or make their living in the arts.

Aww it makes me sad when a guy gets rid of that stuff. xD But I understand if he wants to and there's a reason for it.

I got a customer service job. It's over the phone, so there's no dress code at all. My boss wears sweat pants. I'm not cutting my hair off, I'm just not. I don't feel like enslaving myself to society like that.

And yeah I would sometimes get the stoner/druggie assumption, but now people see me and realize I'm too much of a loser to do drugs.

that's silly. everybody knows the real ''stoners'' are walking around in suit and tie (optional).

i know people from basically all walks of life who do drugs. some are businessmen, some are public life figures, musicians, composers, film directors, photographers, construction workers, DJs....i'd be hard-pressed to find a social class or a profession that boasts no drug use. it's a rather universal phenomenon.

Which is why it's so hard to avoid them! >.< They're everywhere.

OP, your first 50 posts are randomly reviewed. Keep posting and they will show up later. It is a troll defense and not personally aimed at you.

As for your preferred look in guys. If you want to meet guys like that you need to hang out where they do. Chances are it will be a challenge, but there are a number of such guys that are gay. From the sounds of it you have some other stuff to work through, also. Just keep in mind that, though society is more open to people being gay than it once was, a lot of people are just not comfortable with it. You have to deal with that as well as your own problems. Not easy. Keep at it.

I don't really do the "hanging out" thing. I don't go outside unless to work, to go shopping, etc. I have no reason to. No friends. No hobbies. No social skills. And any single gay guy would be on a dating site. So going outside is pointless for meeting someone.

[Pix]

I don't think what's promoted is what's really popular. It's advertisement and other ways to sell products (from boy bands to cosmetics) and it has an effect yet I overhear plenty (both male and female and all orientations) say they like something else other than what's promoted (and what most others say they want because they think they're supposed to want that).

[hank]

I'm sitting here trying to figure out why you would want to look like the guys you're attracted to. I actually think it's kind of -weird- when you see two guys who look like they could be siblings dating.

Then again, I'm attracted to people who look absolutely nothing like me, and I've never had a problem with that. There's people out there for everyone.

People want to be attractive. Some peoplefind they fit what is attractive to them others don't.

[hank]

I've done that hundreds of times at least, to no avail. Well, one avail. He became the best guy ever to me, then out of nowhere dumped me and broke my heart, then I ended up passed out in my car after taking 2 bottles of medication all at once.

I would say you aren't ready to date. Ifyou are taking drugs to that extent, you have some issues.

Break ups suck and it hurts. But that should not make you act in such a self-destructive manner. That is a deeper issue, it has nothing to do with your appearance. It is your self worth.

[subdivisions]

I would say you aren't ready to date. Ifyou are taking drugs to that extent, you have some issues.

Break ups suck and it hurts. But that should not make you act in such a self-destructive manner. That is a deeper issue, it has nothing to do with your appearance. It is your self worth.

I'd have better self-worth if everyone didn't keep kicking it out of me. No amount of therapists can help that if normal people are treating me like shit.

And you don't know how much I really loved this guy. He was my last hope for happiness in life.

[Cuddly]

Figure out the label of the guy you desire and then find a dating site or app that sells that label.

[meridannight]

Which is why it's so hard to avoid them! >.< They're everywhere.

why'd you wanna avoid them?

also, i'm a drug user.

[ShiftyNJ]

I'm sitting here trying to figure out why you would want to look like the guys you're attracted to. I actually think it's kind of -weird- when you see two guys who look like they could be siblings dating.

Then again, I'm attracted to people who look absolutely nothing like me, and I've never had a problem with that. There's people out there for everyone.

I know a couple like this ... friends of friend of friends. I've known them for five years or more, I know both their names, I have no idea which is which.

[wayward]

My dear, OP, Subdivisions,

At 22 is too young to have a last hope of anything, but I understand what it is to feel that way. I nearly fell into madness from sexual frustration; the restraint I had to employ not to harass/assault someone was enormous. I don't think you have that problem, so be grateful. I chose to join a hookup site and got lucky.

I have been in intense outpatient programs: IOPs, for crises of depression. Those programs gave me the opportunity to choose a new point of view: that as long as you are breathing there is opportunity, but sometimes you have to put some effort into finding it, and start small in preparing yourself for it.

I'd say I've had all kinds of luck, and luck changes if you get your brain to change a little first.

I am not saying this is not a challenge, it can be or seem the hardest thing ever, but try to separate yourself from your emotions and try to figure out the why of them. If you can figure out the whys you can work on changing them. Every small achievement of control can build to something if you keep trying.

[subdivisions]

why'd you wanna avoid them?

also, i'm a drug user.

Drugs and alcohol just aren't my thing. I know everyone does them but I'd rather be around people who don't. Don't even bother arguing with me about this because I've heard it all before. Finding a guy who doesn't drink or do drugs is impossible. So I'm pretty much doomed to a life of misery.

My dear, OP, Subdivisions,

At 22 is too young to have a last hope of anything, but I understand what it is to feel that way. I nearly fell into madness from sexual frustration; the restraint I had to employ not to harass/assault someone was enormous. I don't think you have that problem, so be grateful. I chose to join a hookup site and got lucky.

I have been in intense outpatient programs: IOPs, for crises of depression. Those programs gave me the opportunity to choose a new point of view: that as long as you are breathing there is opportunity, but sometimes you have to put some effort into finding it, and start small in preparing yourself for it.

I'd say I've had all kinds of luck, and luck changes if you get your brain to change a little first.

I am not saying this is not a challenge, it can be or seem the hardest thing ever, but try to separate yourself from your emotions and try to figure out the why of them. If you can figure out the whys you can work on changing them. Every small achievement of control can build to something if you keep trying.

I've done EVERYTHING for my depression- in-patient, out-patient, medications, therapists, for years and years. Nothing works. I think giving up is justified in this case.

Also pretty damn annoyed that my posts take like a fucking week to show up.