CellarDweller Wrote:Calling the violation what it is doesn't rob you of your credibility.
Standing up and facing the issue head on should inspire respect and courage, not pity.
The instant you said "no" and it happened anyway, it was rape, and he deserves to face the consequences for that.
^^ I wanted to add to this....
A few years ago, an ex of mine broke into my home and raped me on my bathroom floor. He beat the fucking shit out of me in the process.
Authorities were... a mixed bag when it came to their responses. I feared I would be mocked, not taken seriously, etc. I was. Taken seriously. AND in some cases mocked, if only with their gazes from certain people.
BUT, putting that ex in prison? It was the most rewarding thing I could have done to take back -everything- he took from me with that act. To set things back in balance, yeah?
Standing up for your rights doesn't make you a victim. It makes you a man of strength and conviction.
I'm sorry about what happened to you [MENTION=21087]wayward[/MENTION] I know how hard the wait for test results can be, and how hard the decision is to go after someone that has done something like this. I hope you figure out what is best for you, yeah? No matter what that might be.
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TwisttheLeaf Wrote:^^ I wanted to add to this....
A few years ago, an ex of mine broke into my home and raped me on my bathroom floor. He beat the fucking shit out of me in the process.
Authorities were... a mixed bag when it came to their responses. I feared I would be mocked, not taken seriously, etc. I was. Taken seriously. AND in some cases mocked, if only with their gazes from certain people.
BUT, putting that ex in prison? It was the most rewarding thing I could have done to take back -everything- he took from me with that act. To set things back in balance, yeah?
Standing up for your rights doesn't make you a victim. It makes you a man of strength and conviction.
I'm sorry about what happened to you [MENTION=21087]wayward[/MENTION] I know how hard the wait for test results can be, and how hard the decision is to go after someone that has done something like this. I hope you figure out what is best for you, yeah? No matter what that might be.
I am so very, very proud of you, man.
Your strength through all of it, how much you have healed. How far you have come
You make me so damn proud.
Wayward...One day at a time man.
Just remember that no means no...And no one, -no one- gets to take that choice from you. And there is no pity here, compassion, absolutely.
I was here with Twist every step of the way, I was the first one to say that fucker needs to go to prison.
And from someone who went through sexual abuse at home...don't rob yourself of your feelings, man. Do what you got to do to make it okay, but don't forget to take a minute for -you-
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Facing my own sentiments is enough. That is my fill for the challenge I have faced. It is my decision not to pursue the legal course. Letting go is the suitable option for me. Thank you each for your support.
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It has been months, and I have not trusted a man since. It has been difficult finding a therapist, telling my story again is a trial. Trust toward anyone but my treasured friend Chris Girard has been difficult. Rereading the posts of responders has made me appreciate the compassion and intention more. Things can devolve into a blur and I have panic attacks from time to time. I'm not fully sure why I am sharing this. I am just hoping to hear something which resonates with me and encourages me to move forward. That isn't too much I think to ask.
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wayward Wrote:It has been months, and I have not trusted a man since. It has been difficult finding a therapist, telling my story again is a trial. Trust toward anyone but my treasured friend Chris Girard has been difficult. Rereading the posts of responders has made me appreciate the compassion and intention more. Things can devolve into a blur and I have panic attacks from time to time. I'm not fully sure why I am sharing this. I am just hoping to hear something which resonates with me and encourages me to move forward. That isn't too much I think to ask.
You will get through this. Find the reason why you survive everyday. You have every right to trust nobody, but you should have to trust yourself. That is the only way you can move forward effectively.
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wayward Wrote:The last thing I want is to be defined by victimhood. The idea of rape is so polarizing. I don't want it to snuff out my identity and dignity as an intelligent, capable being. Pity has been far too common a response to my life. I am not making accusations here. I just think that getting people to listen to me has been so difficult already. I feel like if others knew, the pity would rob me of all credibility. You wouldn't be a victim wayward you would be a survivor. I'm a survivor. People don't pity survivors. Don't let yourself be labeled as a victim. The only way you can do that is call yourself a survivor.
Don't be afraid. It takes strength to survive.
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... sue that b@stard's @ss!
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Any regular STD infection will take some days to be detectable, other than that, easy enough to discard or diagnose and then treat.
If we are talking about the ones that stick with you forever and eternity, namely type-2 Herpes and HIV, both of those viruses will take a while before they are detectable, so you need patience there. Testing those 2 usually involves either detection of Immunoglobulins (antibodies) against the viruses, which may or may not be reliable, since the Adaptative Immune Response towards hypermutable viruses is average at best, but also, to develop Immune memory will take maybe longer than you may want to wait.
As an alternative, which I'm pretty sure you can do there in the States, a PCR test can be done to detect whether there is a specific viral DNA or not. Far more accurate if you ask me, although I'm not familar in how much viral load you need to have to make it detectable, so I'm not sure about the time.
That said, sorry you had to go through something like this. It seems you acted very on point despite the circumstances and by all means keep at it. File the report with the police if you haven't already. From a legal point of view, no consent = rape = crime = he should pay for it dearly. Plain and simple.
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