so for most my life i have identified as straight, had a few girlfriends and had sex with them (and liked it ) blah blah blah
im 23 now, and have been curious about a couple guy friends and guys in general since about 17 (specifically a couple scenarios where i could have made a move on a guy but was super scared cuz i was 90 percent sure they wer straight) . mainly thinking about sex but also general relationship things.but always maintaining im straight and just a little curious.
but i haven't had a relationship with either sex since i was 21, which was a one night stand with a girl, and before that my last was a girl i dated for a year when i was 17. ( I'M INCREDIBLY SHY ) and all my relationships have been with women.
so im wondering if defining sexual orientation matters, because the way i see it, i could
1 :keep saying i'm straight and possibly overlook any guys that might end up liking.
2 :just stay open ish to both sexes,and wait for something to happen with either sex, but im scared of my family knowing im curious (i live with parents)
or 3 : go specifically for guys and throw myself into finding out if i am into men or just .... like to fantisize ??..... same issue though, dont want my family knowing.
so do you think i should try to figure this out now or am i just putting too much pressure on myself and its not a big deal, whatever happens happens ?
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10-11-2015, 01:27 AM
(Edited 10-11-2015, 01:30 AM by Radbot42.)
If I were you I would do option number 2 as that sounds most like you. I don't know much about you, but it sounds like you like both sexes but have yet to have any encounter with guys. You could always try guys real quick (that sounds weird) to see if you like it, but from my experience if you've been interested in it for so long there's a very good chance you like at least both at most just guys. Just do you whatever that entails. Guys, girls, whatever. Just don't let your parents be the deciding factor of what you do or don't do. Not all parents are homophobes, and you haven't given much info about them. But it's always your choice to tell them or not.
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I'm gonna have to agree with Radbot42. he sounds wise beyond his years. There are a lot of us out there that had trouble with finding our orientation. There are also a lot of us that at one time enjoyed sex with both sexes. However, it's not always about sex. Don't get me wrong IT'S GOOD!!! and you need to experiment with both if you are that curious. In the end it's all about who you connect too. It took me 40 years to find that connection. Good Luck
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I would have to say that maybe you should go with Option 2. The way I see it is that it's totally up to you, if you think that you might like boys and girls then I don't see why not just keep yourself open to both genders. I mean if we go by statistics, your dating pool just increased exponentially hahaha. But to be totally serious, you really don't have to limit yourself when it comes to sexual orientation. There's no need to specified your own 'label'. If you feel like you like guys? Great, good! If you like girls? That's good too! If you like both? Why not? It just seems silly to limit yourself when you can have an open buffet if you know what I mean haha What matters is just finding someone that you want to spend your life with, and it doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl as long as you're happy.
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First, move out of your parents' house. Time to be independent and live on your own terms.
Second, learn enough about safe sex to write authoritative journal articles on it.
Then, be yourself, whatever that is. No need to live according to a label. Most interesting people do not fit neatly into categories--and I am not just referring to sex.
By the way, welcome here. Questions and comments gladly received. It's a good place.
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so you guys think i should just not worry about it and keep my options open ?
what did you do when you started to identify your sexual interests ?
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I just accepted them. It took a little bit of time. (half a summer vacation during college). I then just focused on what was important at the time. I eventually started dating, but it wasn't until I wanted to. I never forced myself into a situation.
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ThirdEyeGaze Wrote:edit : what did you do when you started to identify your sexual/emotional interests
I was chatting to this guy online when I was 17 and had been for a while. He was very decisive/straightforward and suddenly announced one day that he was coming to visit me (staying in a hotel in my hometown). I was nervous but luckily the night he came down I was also organising a student event so didn't have much time to think about anything. I eventually met him and was instantly attracted. We talked for ages, and eventually kissed. Now, I'd dated girls up to that point and kissed my ex numerous times, but kissing him was completely different. Everything just *worked* and felt right, well, felt more than right, it felt amazing. We ended up seeing each other for a while.
If he hadn't have been so proactive in saying he was coming to see me, I don't know how long it would have taken for me to get it on with a guy. I'm still a little shy at first but nowhere near as shy as I was back then. Although to be fair, when we broke up and he got all arsey and I ended up standing up to him at a birthday thing (long story), it started to grow my confidence even more. I guess I have a lot to thank him for
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