Openly gay but dislike (most) gay males?

[Cobalt]

I've been there. I myself am a dirty heathen and can't stand most other heathens!

[starlight]

Gay men and most people in general feel or have a need to snigger at me, most people are shallow gay men even more so in my knowledge of them. No one as the time for me, no one really wants to spend time with me, no one ever as no one ever will. I dont really have a good opinion of gay men.

[MFD000]

I'm confused.

Do you feel animosity towards gay men you find attractive?
Or do you feel indifferent toward them (ignore their existence)?

If it's the first, I'd say that [MENTION=23097]Insertnamehere[/MENTION] may have hit the nail on the head.

The thing is tho? Think about this a minute. A LOT of straight men don't have chicks for friends. They're either on the guy's radar because he has a chance to fuck them, or they don't exist and/or aren't worth his time.

Maybe this is a mentality you're falling into with gay men?

Mostly trying to meet other gays on apps/online makes it that much harder to make friends.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Mostly trying to meet other gays on apps/online makes it that much harder to make friends.

Well yeah..... Dating apps aren't really meant for finding friends. They're (mostly) meant for finding someone to fuck.... and maybe someone to have a relationship with depending on the app in question. (ie: Grindr is for sex, Match.com for relationship pursuits)

[Anocxu]

I've been following this thread..
Was thinking about an alternate perspective. .

I wonder if most heterosexual men feel the same way about each other..?

Anyhoo..
I'm not sure I can say that I dislike most gay men.

I know myself well enough to say I'm very reserved if 'you' were to first meet me..

My thought process has always been.. if I get to know you ..and you get to know me well enough ...there is a huge possibility we might like each other..

I guess if I disliked most gay men I probably wouldn't have signed up with a gay forum... there is also the obvious fact that I like most members here...

Okay..
Now this thread has tons of inconsistencies. .

*Most of us here are introverted. ..
Particular. And Picky..
Isn't that the reason we spend so much time socializing from a computer?

Again. .
*How many gay people have we really met?
The guys in our town?
The guys at the bar/Pub?
The local clubbers?

*How many members posting here are well travelled?
..Have had the opportunity to meet gay men from all over?

After reading this thread from the beginning. .Is it fair to assume most of us posting in this thread would probably dislike each other if we met in reality ?

A gay friend of mine said he's been getting tons of hot ass from Christian Mingle .com..
Should I just delete this account and go there?

[sethmachine]

Thank you all for contributing to this discussion. It means a lot to hear different opinions and voices of reason.

If I may play armchair psychologist here, [MENTION=21654]sethmachine[/MENTION], your post makes me want to explore your self-confidence and self worth. If you can't befriend people you find attractive but can befriend people you seem to find less attractive than yourself, then from over here it looks like you are building yourself up by being "more attractive" than your friends. It may not even be conscious. If you have a sense of competitiveness with guys you find attractive, but not with guys you don't find attractive, then maybe it's time to look at why you are basing things on physical features at all.

I think this is close to hitting the nail on the head. I may subconsciously choose to have friends who are less attractive than me, but often it just so happens that most video gamers rather spend time grinding than perfecting their hair style or physique.

It's definitely self-confidence and self-worth. Since growing up I was always the last pick for most things. Sports teams obviously, but also being invited to tables during school lunch, or actually given a chance to socialize. In (high) school, it didn't matter that I was really polite and smart (I was valedictorian). My fellow students literally gave zero fucks. I don't have a single friend from my entire decade + going through the school systems.

And I have a long history of being rejected (from my point of view). Every place (school, college, sports team, work, etc.), if I don't end up as some kind of leader, I'm a complete outcast. I guess that's because I know I can't beat most people at the game (in general I'm outclassed in all physically attractive attributes), so I don't bother to play if I'm not already in some kind of position of authority.
[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION]

I certainly don't have good feelings about them. I don't ignore their existence, unless I've been rejected (enough).

I've thought of that analogy. But interestingly I'm actually bisexual. Yet, I have zero animosity towards attractive women. And if a girl I like does reject me, it doesn't bother me in the same way as a guy doing it. The only time I might not like a girl is if she would try to get involved with a partner of mine. Though I'm definitely more into guys than girls.

I just really don't like attractive gay men.

[Anocxu]

Thank you all for contributing to this discussion. It means a lot to hear different opinions and voices of reason.



I think this is close to hitting the nail on the head. I may subconsciously choose to have friends who are less attractive than me, but often it just so happens that most video gamers rather spend time grinding than perfecting their hair style or physique.

It's definitely self-confidence and self-worth. Since growing up I was always the last pick for most things. Sports teams obviously, but also being invited to tables during school lunch, or actually given a chance to socialize. In (high) school, it didn't matter that I was really polite and smart (I was valedictorian). My fellow students literally gave zero fucks. I don't have a single friend from my entire decade + going through the school systems.

And I have a long history of being rejected (from my point of view). Every place (school, college, sports team, work, etc.), if I don't end up as some kind of leader, I'm a complete outcast. I guess that's because I know I can't beat most people at the game (in general I'm outclassed in all physically attractive attributes), so I don't bother to play if I'm not already in some kind of position of authority.
[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION]

I certainly don't have good feelings about them. I don't ignore their existence, unless I've been rejected (enough).

I've thought of that analogy. But interestingly I'm actually bisexual. Yet, I have zero animosity towards attractive women. And if a girl I like does reject me, it doesn't bother me in the same way as a guy doing it. The only time I might not like a girl is if she would try to get involved with a partner of mine. Though I'm definitely more into guys than girls.

I just really don't like attractive gay men.

In a round about way you admitted disliking everything that you think is better than you.. or out of your grasp.

Are you reaching out to the members of this site because you think we are an ugly bunch?

Did you know that several very attractive members reached out to you in this thread?

What world do you live in where you can entertain Ideas of superficial hate?.

You listed a few things that I experienced in my youth.. the truth is sometimes I know I did not try hard enough..
So my inconsistencies are my shame..and my responsibility...
So are yours.
The outcome of so many things you listed are in your hands.

Someone gave me this piece of info decades ago and I'll share it with you..

No matter who or what you are in this life ..There will ALWAYS be someone Stronger, better and brighter than you will ever be.

Why am I so offended by your post?
Your logic is similar to the engine that drives bigotry and hatred.

[sethmachine]

I've definitely being incoherent and going on a rant at many points.

But I think it's a very natural reaction for have-nots to have negative feelings or at least some sense of animosity towards the haves. Especially when it's sort of clear the have-nots can never be one of the haves.

No matter who or what you are in this life ..There will ALWAYS be someone Stronger, better and brighter than you will ever be.

I keep this in my mind every time I come across someone I'm baffled or amazed at. I admire people who have well developed talents / skills. Things that we have to work hard to achieve and are not born with. Many many people are smarter / brighter / etc., but in general they weren't just given this. They earned it and worked very hard for it. And in the field/research I do, I know it takes a lot of effort to be smart and knowledgeable.

On the other hand, for me, a lot of what I find physically attractive seems to be genetic / pre-determined. In general, I've found if a person is attractive, it really doesn't matter what clothes they wear, their job, education, how their hair is (or if they have any left at all), if they've showered, ,their race, etc.

And perhaps this wouldn't bother so much, except in my experience, attractive people tend to go with other attractive people regardless of any other factors. So it clearly matters a lot, if not the most important factor.

And I would say two of my current partners are very attractive guys. But they are really open minded and reasonable. They don't expect or care for their partners to be hot / gorgeous. It seems like most other guys I've met have this expectation. Otherwise the number of my partners would certainly be in the double digits.

[Anocxu]

[MENTION=21654]sethmachine[/MENTION]

Sounds like you're in a better place now..

Keep us posted..
I hope things work out !!

[starlight]

I stick by the fact gays dislike me as much as straights so im not keen on any which makes things hard this is based on treatment experience by others and still continues so my opinion grows stronger.