Are straight women and gay/bi men attracted to the same things?

[Stevefs]

I ask this question because there are a LOT of studies on what women find attractive in men, but there is hardly anything on what gay men find attractive.

What do you think? In general, is what makes a man attractive the same in both the eyes of a straight woman and a gay/bi man?

[meridannight]

i have no idea what women find attractive. i also think it is completely impossible to generalize it so such a wide degree. what gay men find attractive as a whole --- penis and balls. i think that's the only common denominator here. the rest of the characteristics can and will diverge on an individual basis.

i also find it impossible to bring out single characteristics that are attractive outside their context (e.g. i find body hair extremely sexy, but does that mean i find every man with body hair sexy? no. does it mean guys with no body hair are unattractive to me? again, no). some things that look attractive on one male don't render an unattractive male attractive. it's in how these characteristics/traits merge together into a whole and the dynamics between them that matters. i've felt attraction to guys with physical traits i would not have qualified as attractive outside the boundaries of that particular man. and there are plenty of guys whose bodies (for example) look good but are ruined by their personalities or face (if the face is not attractive to me it doesn't matter how attractive the body might be, i am permanently turned off). then there's also the fact that i don't actually control physical attraction. it is a sensation that manifests on its own, as my reaction to the presence of a certain man, regardless of any traits he may or may not possess.

in sum, i am not attracted to individual abstract qualities, but the man as a whole. i always see the forest for the trees, it's how it's always been, the bigger picture. and consequently, tiny individual qualities don't matter that much to me. i do find some individual abstract qualities pleasing (like body hair), but the presence of these qualities in a male does not guarantee that i will find him attractive.

the only way for me to define what i find attractive is to name specific men i've been with. the way they look and behave, their body language and character, that would express quite accurately what it is i am attracted to. but since you haven't known them in real life, it doesn't tell you anything even if i decided to name them on the internet (which i wouldn't).

[Pix]

Speaking GENERALLY, I believe it's different. I sure see a difference in how erotica/love/porn is when made by men and when made by women (speaking as a lesbian, I literally find straight porn made by women more a turn on than lesbian porn made by men). Japanese manga even have different names for say gay men stories written by gay men for gay men, and those "gay male romances" written by women for women (in the latter case, I didn't even realize it was two guys at first as one was so stereotypical feminine in looks and behavior).

And frankly, I think romances aimed at females warp their minds so that the Edward Cullens and Christian Greys are the love interests rather than villains as they would be in any other genre. (They can warp the minds of men who let themselves get lost in them too often as well. And I could make some similar comments about porn when it's taken too seriously, but that's another topic.) Romances that take place in other genres are usually fine, it's in the romance genre itself that it tends to get really twisted...and that shapes what a lot of straight women like in a man, by training readers to think of themselves and desirable men in a certain way. (Though there are other influences.)

[TigerLover]

Well there will be commonalities across the board. A probable example is height and strength. I'd expect that most straight women and gay men like taller, more muscular guys. Thats just somehing driven by natural selection and the desire to have the biggest warriors and best hunters on your side.
But even then there will be prefences
How tall is too tall?
Sure you like athletic builds but what about bodybuilders?

As for anything outside of those simple primitive desires. pffffft forget about it the species that survives is the species that diversifies and not only are humans no different but we actually take it to extremes unseen anywhere else in the animal kingdom.

And then you factor in personalities, humour, intellect, pheromones and romance. Human sexual preferences couldn't be more chaotic if we all came from different planets.

[starlight]

Are straight men and lesbians/bi women attracted to the same things? LOL thought id just drop that in.

[Scootaloo]

i have no idea what women find attractive. i also think it is completely impossible to generalize it so such a wide degree. what gay men find attractive as a whole --- penis and balls. i think that's the only common denominator here. the rest of the characteristics can and will diverge on an individual basis.

i also find it impossible to bring out single characteristics that are attractive outside their context (e.g. i find body hair extremely sexy, but does that mean i find every man with body hair sexy? no. does it mean guys with no body hair are unattractive to me? again, no). some things that look attractive on one male don't render an unattractive male attractive. it's in how these characteristics/traits merge together into a whole and the dynamics between them that matters. i've felt attraction to guys with physical traits i would not have qualified as attractive outside the boundaries of that particular man. and there are plenty of guys whose bodies (for example) look good but are ruined by their personalities or face (if the face is not attractive to me it doesn't matter how attractive the body might be, i am permanently turned off). then there's also the fact that i don't actually control physical attraction. it is a sensation that manifests on its own, as my reaction to the presence of a certain man, regardless of any traits he may or may not possess.

in sum, i am not attracted to individual abstract qualities, but the man as a whole. i always see the forest for the trees, it's how it's always been, the bigger picture. and consequently, tiny individual qualities don't matter that much to me. i do find some individual abstract qualities pleasing (like body hair), but the presence of these qualities in a male does not guarantee that i will find him attractive.

the only way for me to define what i find attractive is to name specific men i've been with. the way they look and behave, their body language and character, that would express quite accurately what it is i am attracted to. but since you haven't known them in real life, it doesn't tell you anything even if i decided to name them on the internet (which i wouldn't).

couldn't have said it any better

[Aquarius]

I always thought that women have a different general taste of men to gays.

When women are communicating about men, I mostly hear them praising a guy's six pack, or an edgy face.
When gay guys are communicating about men, these play a much minor role, I think we more tend to focus on a guy's chest than on his sixpack.
Also, watch a tumblr blog run by a gay guy or a straight woman - the types of reblogged men are generally different. I do believe - generally - straight women are more into edgy looks, while guys are more into boyish / soft looks. Hard to explain, and there's surely exceptions on each side.

[ShiftyNJ]

The women I know are generally more practical than the gay men when it comes to attraction. They might comment favorably on a guy's looks but I think my female friends seem to put more stock in personality and maturity than physical stuff.

It's funny because I saw a (straight male) comedian yesterday who described himself as "a straight 7 but a gay 9" meaning that he feels like he gets more second glances from guys. I feel as if gay men are far pickier than women when it comes to looks.

[Aquarius]

Actually, it would be also interesting to see if tops and bottoms have a different general taste.
Could it be that tops are pickier about looks?

[ShiftyNJ]

Actually, it would be also interesting to see if tops and bottoms have a different general taste.
Could it be that tops are pickier about looks?

Not everybody is either. Been seeing surveys that only 1/3 of gay guys even "go there".