What are your insecurities, and how are you dealing with it?

[Darius]

"Make use" as in cleaning his house?

[Stevefs]

"Make use" as in cleaning his house?

No, haha. He needed a "cute Asian" to give him a BJ. He was more graphic with his messages, of course. I never responded.

Clean his house though... LOL. I would have been so angry if he wanted me to do that.

[Emiliano]

I feel insecure about how I'm perceived, to be very general about it. I feel like an outsider a lot and so I can feel insecure about how I speak, how I dress, how I hold myself. At my jobs and with my family I feel comfortable just being who I am. But with different circles of friends, or when I'm in class... I feel a pressure to prove something to them, that i belong there too.

I try to deal with those feelings by looking to role models I have. Talking to the people I respect and look up to about their experiences and thoughts. Reading and educating myself. And trying to be a role model for the people who might look to me as an example. Feeling that responsibility to others, to the next generation.

When it comes to dealing with racism or people with some kind of race fetish, I really think its important to be conscious and aware of that stuff so that you don't just internalize it. The kinds of attitudes you described frustrate me. People like that really need to be called out.

[Insertnamehere]

The pack of my insecurities are mostly related to finding a partner.

All justified of course: average looking at best and not a particularly good personality to make up for it. Short, inexperienced, closet case, completely lacking in social skills, the list goes on.

A pragmatic approach will conclude that there are more reasons not to be aqcuainted with me than otherwise.


How do I deal with it: Major problem here, I don't. I hide in my room and dive into work, that's about it.


Outside of that sphere, I don't think I have insecurities. Or I care next to nothing about them.

[trywait]

we all have insecurities but we also have strengths. I accept my insecurities and I try to work at it but also, at this point, I've just become more comfortable in my own skin. take me for who I am, and we will get along just fine.

[Stevefs]

When it comes to dealing with racism or people with some kind of race fetish, I really think its important to be conscious and aware of that stuff so that you don't just internalize it. The kinds of attitudes you described frustrate me. People like that really need to be called out.

I agree. I tend to shy away from creating some kind of conflict, though, especially with someone online. I just block/don't reply and move on. Maybe I should say something next time?

[Emiliano]

I agree. I tend to shy away from creating some kind of conflict, though, especially with someone online. I just block/don't reply and move on. Maybe I should say something next time?

I don't know, I'm not trying to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Sometimes it seems like silence perpetuates things. But you also got to pick your battles. I'd say something to a persons face more than i would online. It is strange how the protection of a screen and the illusion of anonymity reveal a real dark side in a lot of people.

[East]

Insecurities are a part of being human. Even the most confident and attractive individuals have insecurities on some level. What's important is that we can identify them and deal with them so we can love for who we are. What are yours?

I'll start: I'm a little insecure about being Asian, especially in the gay community. I've met a lot of individuals who don't find Asians attractive whatsoever, and even deny friendship because I'm Asian. It's a punch in the face every time I come across a dating profile and it says at the bottom: "No Asians."

*sigh*

How I'm dealing with it: I've developed a very confident persona in public and I learned how to dress well, and I try to act as friendly as possible. I'm also trying to just ignore everyone that doesn't want Asians... if they don't want me, I don't want them, especially if they're willing to exclude someone totally just on their ethnicity.

What about you guys?

Concerning your insecurity.,...my best friend is Japanese and a very good looking guy...straight...

He used to tell me that it hurt his feelings when women would do the "curiousity fuck" thing with him...like they wouldn't consider him for more than a fuck because he was Asian....

Of course..he went on to be engaged for eight years to an actual Playboy Centerfold...but still...the curiosity fuck thing STILL gets to him. He just mentioned again last Sunday....

A worse thing though that no one mentions...alot of the guys I met who "just liked Asians"...uh...they expected them not to have a voice and to be completely submissive to them...UGH...

As for the guys who don't want Asians..you can consider that they did you a favor..that you dodged a bullet...

My insecurities...well....most of them have faded over the years....

I mostly get insecure these days about my teeth. In my 20s I would ask my dentist to give me false teeth so I never had to deal with the dentist again..I hate going to the dentist. I start to choke...I get bad anxiety and even though I try to hide it ...doesn't work. So now..I hate to smile. I am on the verge of getting all of the work I need done but I still resist it. I will need some valium just to get myself into the door....

[Stevefs]

Concerning your insecurity.,...my best friend is Japanese and a very good looking guy...straight...

He used to tell me that it hurt his feelings when women would do the "curiousity fuck" thing with him...like they wouldn't consider him for more than a fuck because he was Asian....

Of course..he went on to be engaged for eight years to an actual Playboy Centerfold...but still...the curiosity fuck thing STILL gets to him. He just mentioned again last Sunday....

A worse thing though that no one mentions...alot of the guys I met who "just liked Asians"...uh...they expected them not to have a voice and to be completely submissive to them...UGH...

As for the guys who don't want Asians..you can consider that they did you a favor..that you dodged a bullet...

My insecurities...well....most of them have faded over the years....

I mostly get insecure these days about my teeth. In my 20s I would ask my dentist to give me false teeth so I never had to deal with the dentist again..I hate going to the dentist. I start to choke...I get bad anxiety and even though I try to hide it ...doesn't work. So now..I hate to smile. I am on the verge of getting all of the work I need done but I still resist it. I will need some valium just to get myself into the door....

Ah, I understand :/. It's highly unfortunate. I've definitely had to go through several people who were only in it for the "Asian curiosity" before I found someone that likes me for me.

As for your teeth, as long as there's nothing that's affecting your health in a negative way, I think you're okay. I've met plenty of cute guys who didn't have the best teeth, and yet they had such cute smiles

[TigerLover]

Well I'm autistic and I can inconvenience and verbally hurt people by accident. Sometimes I feel like everyone i'm close to is only tolerating me out of pity or some sense of moral obligation. I feel like such a burden sometimes.

I deal with this by lying and carefully monitoring everything I say to hide my symptoms for as long as I can. That way when I feel insecure I can remind myself that some people do genuinely like me because they hung out with me before they realised.

And i'm already hating how whiny this post sounds so I guess that's another insecurity for the list.