What Would You Do?
11-04-2015, 08:38 PM
I'm sorry this is happening. Communication is key, and a two way street.
My boyfriend and I got into an argument a few weeks ago. Things were getting heated, I wanted to leave the house and collect my thoughts. He didn't want me leaving, threatening that he wouldn't be responsible for the state of the house when I came back (implying he'd be breaking sh!t.) So, I stayed, we argued more.
I got up from the bed for some reason, he thought I was leaving, so he pushed me back on the bed. I pushed him back with my legs. Got up and he was starting to wind up to hit me. After that it got a little hazy, I know he got a hit in, and then I took him by the neck and put him down on the floor. Was trying to restrain him, first his arms, then his legs. He ended up biting my knee since my leg was across my chest, and hitting me in the face with his foot. I finally yelled at him to stop, and he did. We both immediately regretted it getting physical, and later we talked things out more. First time in my life I've ever been seriously hit by anyone, left a black eye, my nose felt broke, and you could see the teeth imprints over my knee.
He does get into seemingly uncontrolled fits of rage, this was the first time it was directed at me though. Logic doesn't work on him during these times. Alcohol makes it worse. Usually I let it play itself out, since the object of his rage is usually not in the house. This time, since he was taking it out on me, I was standing my ground. I stopped arguing when he stopped making sense.
What he was raging about really didn't have anything to do with me. I feel equally at fault for the physicality. I know what subjects are likely turn my nice caring boyfriend into a raging bitch. They don't have to do with how I treat him, or he treats me, it's how others treat him. He also went on to verbally berate the ungrateful 17 year old friend of his we had taken in. Such that the friend moved out that weekend, and put a restraining order on him.
All that said, the emotional abuse your husband is heaping on you isn't fair or warranted to you. You are an adult and deserve to be treated as such. His behavior doesn't sound rational, or predictable, and that's no way to live.
Having a plan to separate is a good option. Sounds like you've given him every indication that this behavior isn't acceptable, and that you aren't going to stand for it. If not, start with that, once you have the plan in place.
If he's going to continue treating you like this, he should know that the consequence is you leaving, then separating, then divorce.
My boyfriend and I got into an argument a few weeks ago. Things were getting heated, I wanted to leave the house and collect my thoughts. He didn't want me leaving, threatening that he wouldn't be responsible for the state of the house when I came back (implying he'd be breaking sh!t.) So, I stayed, we argued more.
I got up from the bed for some reason, he thought I was leaving, so he pushed me back on the bed. I pushed him back with my legs. Got up and he was starting to wind up to hit me. After that it got a little hazy, I know he got a hit in, and then I took him by the neck and put him down on the floor. Was trying to restrain him, first his arms, then his legs. He ended up biting my knee since my leg was across my chest, and hitting me in the face with his foot. I finally yelled at him to stop, and he did. We both immediately regretted it getting physical, and later we talked things out more. First time in my life I've ever been seriously hit by anyone, left a black eye, my nose felt broke, and you could see the teeth imprints over my knee.
He does get into seemingly uncontrolled fits of rage, this was the first time it was directed at me though. Logic doesn't work on him during these times. Alcohol makes it worse. Usually I let it play itself out, since the object of his rage is usually not in the house. This time, since he was taking it out on me, I was standing my ground. I stopped arguing when he stopped making sense.
What he was raging about really didn't have anything to do with me. I feel equally at fault for the physicality. I know what subjects are likely turn my nice caring boyfriend into a raging bitch. They don't have to do with how I treat him, or he treats me, it's how others treat him. He also went on to verbally berate the ungrateful 17 year old friend of his we had taken in. Such that the friend moved out that weekend, and put a restraining order on him.
All that said, the emotional abuse your husband is heaping on you isn't fair or warranted to you. You are an adult and deserve to be treated as such. His behavior doesn't sound rational, or predictable, and that's no way to live.
Having a plan to separate is a good option. Sounds like you've given him every indication that this behavior isn't acceptable, and that you aren't going to stand for it. If not, start with that, once you have the plan in place.
If he's going to continue treating you like this, he should know that the consequence is you leaving, then separating, then divorce.
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