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why is running a relationship so hard?
#1
we were together for one year, even on our anniversary we were so happy and enjoying being with each other, then all of a sudden he said that we had nothing in common and he wanna be single, though phone.
we had 3 or four fights during the year, and everytime he says breakup, then back together again. but this time i really do not wanna get through all those shits again. i do not wanna cry in my bed again. on thanksgiving day he said, "i know you love me and i love you, can we talk?" but i refused.
i am confused. is it really that hard to run a relationship?
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#2
Relationships are hard work, yes. And people are outrageously complicated.

They are even harder when the other guy is a complete asshole. You shouldn't take being treated like that.

If you're getting more pain than anything out of this, then there is no point in keeping it.

Find someone better for you.
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#3
thank you!
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#4
If every time there's something wrong and he wants to bail each time, clearly he's not willing to put much effort in this relationship. You don't throw away something you cherish.
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#5
That's true and getting into an argument is a test of a relationship...and often one's character.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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#6
I think you are doing the right thing Keith by refusing to talk to him. You can't stay with someone that treats you like this and keeps blowing hot and cold. This cycle will never break. You deserve better than that.
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#7
He sounds immature.

Katy Perry did a song about his type, it's called hot 'n cold.
In my opinion, if he has broken up with you multiple times in just one year, you're better off without him. Relationships do take some work, but not THAT much. You choose your battles and accept things, but you don't break up because you're bored for an hour, which it sounds like you ex was doing.

Fighting sometimes is normal. We've never fought. I've raised my voice at him like twice in the 9 years we've been together. What's there to fight about? Not doing the dishes? The color of the carpets?
But fighting doesn't hsve to be a dealbreaker, not if you actually want the relationship to last.
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#8
Whether he's bailing due to his own self confidence and issues, or bailing because he just doesn't want to put the effort in.... either way? You deserve better.
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#9
thank you guys! Your words are very comforting. I will move on and get my new life started. I`ve been sacroficing so much and finally i should learn to build up my new world. I was happy, and sad. Anyway it`s the first time that i was in a relationship. I do not regret what i did. Like my math teacher said, "in college, you should get a impressive and unregretful relationship that you will always remember in your entire life." Again, Thank you all for your kind words!
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#10
Relationships are hard to maintain. I would say that your fella (or ex rather) is not ready for commitment as yet. Many guys think the grass is greener of which, it is not. That maybe the reason for all the make ups and break ups. Move on and find someone who appreciates you for you.

Good on you for staying strong!
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