Unprotected Sex

[East]

I have been having unprotected sex for 30 years with my partner..still going strong..and before that..unprotected sex with over 750 men....

I do not have HIV...I do not have AIDS...

Don't follow my example though...follow your own.

For all of the slut shamers ...you will be happy to know I had gonorrhea once...and a case of the crabs...

[verysimple]

I have been having unprotected sex for 30 years with my partner..still going strong..and before that..unprotected sex with over 750 men....

I do not have HIV...I do not have AIDS...

Don't follow my example though...follow your own.

For all of the slut shamers ...you will be happy to know I had gonorrhea once...and a case of the crabs...

And how are you doing so far ... Having had those diseases??

[verysimple]

Don't Judge me for asking this kind of question but... Despite the protected intercourse ... Is one exposed to risks for swallowing, that is ofcourse giving BJ 2 someone

[East]

And how are you doing so far ... Having had those diseases??

Quite well. Penicillin knocked out the gonorrhea in 2-3 days and lotion took care of the crabs pretty fast too..and whether I got the crabs from sex or not is still unclear.

About my statement......

Back in the 60s/70s/80s/90s...I used to laugh at straight people for being such misogynist hypocritical prudes with their whole slut shaming bullshit and the Madonna/Whore syndrome....because they all "knew" that sluts must be punished for their actions. Every TV show...if they had a slut..they had a "lesson" by the end where the slut was sad..or dead...or raped..or maimed...or somehow paid for their errant ways....what a joke...

I mean really...our "biblical" wisdom dictates that a woman who is raped must be stoned to death for being unpure??????? WTF????

...and all of this purity bullshit came from the Bible..and the Koran..and other books written by MEN to keep women in their place. Of course the men who fucked around....never their fault. It was the "damn sluts" who tempted them and after they fucked them..they would blame them for it LOL..

After all..the purest woman who ever lived had a virgin birth and so women all over the world for hundreds of years have used this imaginary story as a standard of behavior for "good women"..and it has fucked up generations of women...

So..I was really happy to be gay back in the 70s and 80s because gay people didn't do the slut shaming thing...and then in the 90s..women finally got a break when Kim Cattrall owned her slutiness on Sex and the City and didn't have to be punished for it....

But now..thanks to AIDS and the desire to get approval and acceptance from straight people when we should have given it to ourselves....we have become just like them. I think it is horrific what happened to gay men in their search for approval...slut shaming is now the norm. We used to be so much better than that. You have gay men acting like Disney Princesses now....UGH....wanting to be "good and pure" ..just like the crap women had to deal with..a standard of behavior that is unnatural....and leads to ALOT of unfulfilled lives......

Gay people using the same shame used against them on each other is the same sociological phenomenon where oppressed groups of people oppress each other....and all for a little bit of approval from the people who oppressed us to begin with.

So I make sure to own my inner slut..and I have been monogamous for 30 years now...so all of that bullshit people repeat as a "fact"...that sluts don't make good partners..is just that....bullshit. I think we make better partners actually because we usually know the difference between lust and love...a lesson everyone should learn....but few ever do. Just because you repeat a lie 100 times doesn't make it true. I know ALOT of long terms gay couples..even longer than mine..and they were all sluts....same with a lot of straight men who put their dick in anything that walked....but the nice thing about gay men..we had honesty on our side.

I still do.

I am quite proud of my journey and I would do it all again.

[Darius]

Don't Judge me for asking this kind of question but... Despite the protected intercourse ... Is one exposed to risks for swallowing, that is ofcourse giving BJ 2 someone

As I understand it, the greater risk is getting cum in your mouth and throat where there are mucous membranes. Stomach acid probably kills the HIV virus. Precum is a potential risk, too. While oral sex is supposed to be low risk, once you take a cock in your mouth, you have entered that risk zone, whether you spit or swallow.
It might be better to know your sex partner rather than sex with strangers.

[LJay]

Very Simple, there is no reason you should not ask any question that comes to mind about sex.
That's what we are here for, among other things.

It is my understanding that there is very little, if any, risk of HIV transmission in practicing oral sex on guys. There are risks of transmitting other infections, though.

To make things safer, use a condom. A little lube inside the condom can make things nicer for the guy getting the blow job.

PLEASE, anyone else with comments about this please pitch in. Sharing information is a good thing.

[Pacific]

Quite well. Penicillin knocked out the gonorrhea in 2-3 days and lotion took care of the crabs pretty fast too..and whether I got the crabs from sex or not is still unclear.

About my statement......

Back in the 60s/70s/80s/90s...I used to laugh at straight people for being such misogynist hypocritical prudes with their whole slut shaming bullshit and the Madonna/Whore syndrome....because they all "knew" that sluts must be punished for their actions. Every TV show...if they had a slut..they had a "lesson" by the end where the slut was sad..or dead...or raped..or maimed...or somehow paid for their errant ways....what a joke...

I mean really...our "biblical" wisdom dictates that a woman who is raped must be stoned to death for being unpure??????? WTF????

...and all of this purity bullshit came from the Bible..and the Koran..and other books written by MEN to keep women in their place. Of course the men who fucked around....never their fault. It was the "damn sluts" who tempted them and after they fucked them..they would blame them for it LOL..

After all..the purest woman who ever lived had a virgin birth and so women all over the world for hundreds of years have used this imaginary story as a standard of behavior for "good women"..and it has fucked up generations of women...

So..I was really happy to be gay back in the 70s and 80s because gay people didn't do the slut shaming thing...and then in the 90s..women finally got a break when Kim Cattrall owned her slutiness on Sex and the City and didn't have to be punished for it....

But now..thanks to AIDS and the desire to get approval and acceptance from straight people when we should have given it to ourselves....we have become just like them. I think it is horrific what happened to gay men in their search for approval...slut shaming is now the norm. We used to be so much better than that. You have gay men acting like Disney Princesses now....UGH....wanting to be "good and pure" ..just like the crap women had to deal with..a standard of behavior that is unnatural....and leads to ALOT of unfulfilled lives......

Gay people using the same shame used against them on each other is the same sociological phenomenon where oppressed groups of people oppress each other....and all for a little bit of approval from the people who oppressed us to begin with.

So I make sure to own my inner slut..and I have been monogamous for 30 years now...so all of that bullshit people repeat as a "fact"...that sluts don't make good partners..is just that....bullshit. I think we make better partners actually because we usually know the difference between lust and love...a lesson everyone should learn....but few ever do. Just because you repeat a lie 100 times doesn't make it true. I know ALOT of long terms gay couples..even longer than mine..and they were all sluts....same with a lot of straight men who put their dick in anything that walked....but the nice thing about gay men..we had honesty on our side.

I still do.

I am quite proud of my journey and I would do it all again.

A couple years ago, I was in Philadelphia for a Christopher Rice book signing (he is gay and also the son of author Anne Rice) and the book signing was at a very old LGBT bookstore (which was great for me to experience such a culturally significant place as those places really are not around at all anymore). The owner and the books were great and they had a both new and used books. I picked up this gem called "Counseling Lesbian Women and Gay Men" and it was published in 1982 (of course used and only $3). I am not a counselor but love that field. It has been the most useful gay "life issues" book I have ever encountered. It's so dated, it was published just before HIV/AIDS and therefore doesn't even discuss it. However, everything else is extremely relevant. Even though I wasn't alive back then, just from reading this book, one could easily identify the difference between gay/queer culture of today vs. the 70s and very early 80s. The two authors, who are social workers/psychologists, do not filter this book through heteronormative ideologies or hetero templates for relationships. While they state that the love, emotional, and psychological responses are the same between gay people and straight people, they encourage people to toss out any other social constructs and to make new models for viewing relationships and for what works and doesn't. There is zero judgement regarding sexual activity/number of partners etc. It's definitley challenged me to reconsider some of my views and really has helped me gain insight on my relationship that no modern book has done.The book is really enlightening...and this post kind of reminds me of it....

[Insertnamehere]

As I understand it, the greater risk is getting cum in your mouth and throat where there are mucous membranes. Stomach acid probably kills the HIV virus. Precum is a potential risk, too. While oral sex is supposed to be low risk, once you take a cock in your mouth, you have entered that risk zone, whether you spit or swallow.
It might be better to know your sex partner rather than sex with strangers.

Quick revision

1) Everything from the start of your mouth to your rectum (and from the start of your nose to your alveoli is a mucose, i.e a secretory epithelium.

2) One of the utmost important functions of mucose membranes are as first stage barriers against external threats. If said barrier is compromised (read: blood vessels are exposed due to a wound), then risk is the highest.

3) Viruses are not alive and therefore can't be killed. What may happen of course is the complete and utter destruction of the macromolecules comprising the viral particle. Most proteins and structural polysaccharids are not quite fond of acid-catalyzed hydrolisis


Right on point as far as the rest goes

[GuyOverThere]

The correct thing to do when entering any new relationship is to get tested asap.

I regularly have bb sex with my partner, because I trust him. This isn't to say it's safe, but the trust is there for both of us. For me, it's the most ultimate intimate experience.

Personally, I wouldn't do anything with anyone until you know them well, and have a system of trust in place. Get yourself and your partner tested for peace of mind.