Homosexuality and the Bible

[LONDONER]

This is years old and probably the writer is fictitious but it's funny all the same:


The Next time someone uses the Bible to say homosexuality is a sin, show them this.


Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident. It's funny, AND informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

[Insertnamehere]

OMG this is priceless.

Copy and paste this convo to every religious nutjob speech about LGBTs is a must

[Pix]

OMG this is priceless.

Copy and paste this convo to every religious nutjob speech about LGBTs is a must

Has anyone ever done this? What was the reaction? :confused:

[ceez]

Has anyone ever done this? What was the reaction? :confused:

it would probably be the reaction I usually see when someone stands up to a bible thumper, they just yell loud enough to drown everyone else out.

[East]

I have always been a bit unclear...and asking a Christian to explain is torturous....

Was it not biased men with egos who wrote the Bible...claiming it was "the word of God"?

So...did God write this on a rock..they find it..and write it out with a pen?

..or did they just make this shit up on a hunch and just claim God said it so no one will argue with them?

[Pix]

^^

There's some debate over whether this girl is serious or not, but when I first saw this I almost fell out of my chair literally from laughing so hard, on this question she has for atheists regarding the Bible...




On a more serious note...advice to God of the Bible:




It's all good, IMO, but where it gets particularly relevant is at about 10:50 after Yahweh asks his mentor what would be a better way for him to fulfill his plan (for people to know and worship him).

[LONDONER]

^^

There's some debate over whether this girl is serious or not, but when I first saw this I almost fell out of my chair literally from laughing so hard, on this question she has for atheists regarding the Bible...

I think that she thinks that she's serious but then she belongs to the group of totally ininformed people out there.

[AlohaShannon]

I have always been a bit unclear...and asking a Christian to explain is torturous....

Was it not biased men with egos who wrote the Bible...claiming it was "the word of God"?

So...did God write this on a rock..they find it..and write it out with a pen?

..or did they just make this shit up on a hunch and just claim God said it so no one will argue with them?

The simplest explanation (and popular belief) regarding the biblical authors is that the words came from the individual authors through the inspiration of God. So even though each word was penned by man, God directly gave them the ideas. This is why Christians that believe in a literal understanding of the Bible say that it is without error in the original manuscripts (copies were made and some things can be seen as contradictory).

As for the argument regarding the laws found in the Old Testament, biblical scholars will argue that everything pre-Christ was part of the old covenant and after Christ saved mankind from their sins through His sacrifice, a new covenant was created. Thus, laws found in books of the Bible such as Leviticus are no longer valid. But they profess to adhere to the New Testament teachings, which a lot came from the apostle Paul. Christ really brought it down to two laws, love God with everything you have and love everyone as you would love yourself.

But going back to the Bible as God's perfect Word, Christians will still argue that the apostle Paul (writer of much of the New Testament) spoke out against homosexuality so that's their basis of being against it since they are bound by the new covenant and not the old (giving them the ok to eat pork, wear clothes made from more than one material, etc.). It should be noted though, that the New Testament said divorce is wrong unless it's because of infidelity.

Sorry for going on and on, apparently my time in college learning biblical studies before I switched to psych sunk into my brain more than I thought.

[East]

First...HI! [MENTION=20680]AlohaShannon[/MENTION]...nice to see you again! I hope all is well in your world!

Second...DUDE!!!!! You just did a masterful job of answering a very sincere question I had...I am blown away. I was always so very curious about this and I understand your answer perfectly...so thanks!

[AlohaShannon]

No problem East, glad I could help out a bit!

As for me and my world, that probably requires a whole separate thread to discuss. Bleh.

Hope the world is bowing down to you as it should be!!!