guy trouble

[supasyd]

Hi everyone I am in a bit pickle and it's making me feel really depressed when i really know i shouldnt care. Here is the story:

I met a guy at a social gathering through a friend; we met both knowing that we found each other attractive but i really had feelings for him very quickly. I wish i didnt. I got embarrasingly drunk and blacked out for 3 hours but i remember going to bed with him. In the morning we cuddled and chatted a lot and fooled around sexually. Ive done this with guys before but for some reason i really felt a connection

I learnt that i behaved really inappropriately with him in front of everyone from the aforementioned mutual friend (although apparently he responded in kind) although I think I took it too far and hurt him by biting his nipple too hard but I don't think he cared because of the way he behaved the next morning.

I thought things went well but my friend said he told her he isn't after anything more than fun with me, and apparently im a little too camp for him while sober. This left me hurt and confused because I can't stop thinking about him and I really drew the short straw by having these feelings as it seems he doesn't feel the same, despite us not actually having sex because he wanted to cuddle and talk, which seems like such a major contradiction. Its always on my mind and really getting me down. Hell be back for the upcoming house party on Saturday but it feels a lifetime away. Don't know what to do or how to make myself feel better.

[Insertnamehere]

This ain't gonna be easy, but if he doesn't feel the same......not much you can do but internalizing it and moving on.

If you're not up to "just fun", you probably need to let it go.

[supasyd]

This ain't gonna be easy, but if he doesn't feel the same......not much you can do but internalizing it and moving on.

If you're not up to "just fun", you probably need to let it go.

I cant figure out why someone after fun would be cuddly and not try for actual intercourse. I'm really bad at letting go. I've never been loved before I just get made a fool of

[Insertnamehere]

I cant figure out why someone after fun would be cuddly and not try for actual intercourse. I'm really bad at letting go. I've never been loved before I just get made a fool of

I'll tell you what. Pay attention to his behavior in this next gathering. Be aware of the signs. And if it comes to it, ask him personally about it. Get an answer!

[InbetweenDreams]

I cant figure out why someone after fun would be cuddly and not try for actual intercourse. I'm really bad at letting go. I've never been loved before I just get made a fool of

I can tell you from my own experience, you need to be able to step back, it sucks but you will save yourself a lot of grief...

As far as people getting cuddly, some people, including myself like the physical contact too, I enjoy it....don't get me wrong it is always...always better when you have a connection or when it is all mutual. However, doesn't mean you can go and have fun and be friends at the same time. So try to get to get over the crush before you end up like me and end up not having this person in your life at all... Read some of my long ass posts...can see what having feelings for someone when it isn't mutual leads to.

[supasyd]

This ain't gonna be easy, but if he doesn't feel the same......not much you can do but internalizing it and moving on.

If you're not up to "just fun", you probably need to let it go.

I'll tell you what. Pay attention to his behavior in this next gathering. Be aware of the signs. And if it comes to it, ask him personally about it. Get an answer!

Thanks I do fear the worst though. I wish I could switch the feelings off until Saturday. I don't know how I can make myself feel like I don't need him its hard

[supasyd]

I can tell you from my own experience, you need to be able to step back, it sucks but you will save yourself a lot of grief...

As far as people getting cuddly, some people, including myself like the physical contact too, I enjoy it....don't get me wrong it is always...always better when you have a connection or when it is all mutual. However, doesn't mean you can go and have fun and be friends at the same time. So try to get to get over the crush before you end up like me and end up not having this person in your life at all... Read some of my long ass posts...can see what having feelings for someone when it isn't mutual leads to.

You're right. I know I need to step back but my feelings don't fade. It took me a year to get over my ex and I ended up threatening to kill myself so he would come back. I am scared of being in that place again.

[Anocxu]

Look at things this way..
The contradictions <~

I think "Your guy" is sending mixed signals .. or you could be expecting too much without knowing what he wants.. really a combination of both.

Why would he engage you if you are not completely his type..?

If you get a chance to spend time with him next party.. well first of all.. don't drink so much ..
Talk with him.. see where his head is at.

Now..
That friend that is in the middle of all this is a bad idea..

Keep it between you and your love interest..
If you keep things solid.. (and sober) you'll definitely know what's up.

Ps..
That cuddle and chat session was an opportunity to level with each other.

Make it happen again?

Hugs

[InbetweenDreams]

You're right. I know I need to step back but my feelings don't fade. It took me a year to get over my ex and I ended up threatening to kill myself so he would come back. I am scared of being in that place again.

Oh no, definitely don't get into that place... There was a point in time where I was sort of like that... two things and not to sound critical but maturity and self worth.

1. Most guys, at some point aren't going to work out.
2. No guy is worth your life, ever.

You must be objective of the other person as well, they are not perfect...sounds like something someone on here told me... but trust me, if they don't want to be in a relationship there it is almost certain it will not happen and threatening to kill yourself will not get you there and obviously being dead doesn't get you anything but worms.

So the trick is enjoy getting there, work on making sure that they are meeting YOUR needs to. Guys can make us feel all sorts of things when we're crushing on them it is a roller coaster ride from hell, one minutes you're on cloud nine and then next you're in a pit.

So pull back, find out how he really feels and if it isn't what you wanted to hear, accept it, don't get upset things WILL be fine, no reason to be upset over Mr. Wrong...

Hope that makes sense, I can't really do much as far as mentally preparing you for what lies ahead, that you have to work on. Trust me, most of us have been in some sort of similar situation...doesn't always go the way we wanted or expected it...Sometimes I wish we were more like Vulcan's (if you watch Star Trek) and not have to deal with these pesky emotions all the time -- not always pleasant...

[supasyd]

I am the kind of person who experiences emotions way too intensely to actually deal with anything without becoming an emotional wreck. Also is messaging him over internet as bad as an idea as it feels? The temptation is so great