Sagittarius
01-24-2016, 02:01 PM
1. To avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, get someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. To avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat - use the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. [Remember to use a timer.]
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives - you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
2. To avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat - use the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. [Remember to use a timer.]
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives - you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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Libra
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