Double-entendres

[LONDONER]

Some of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'


3. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'


4. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'


5. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'


6. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!


7. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'


8. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '


9 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

[Cridders88]

. My type of humour haha.

[AlohaShannon]

Haha, love it!

It reminds me of a conversation I had once.

I worked in the headquarters of an Army unit and we were holding our monthly promotion board. All the eligible and recommended Soldiers are in their dress uniforms and sit before a panel to answer questions on a vast number of military related subjects. I routinely inspected their uniforms to ensure there were no mistakes. As I looked over the ribbons of one female soldier I commented, "impressive rack" (the set of awards on the chest are called a rack of ribbons). She gave me an astonished look and then a wry smile. Being in an organization that was quick to discipline sexual harassment I profusely apologized and explained myself as best as I could.

So embarrassing!!!

[LONDONER]

. My type of humour haha.

Glad to have started your day off with a laugh Cridder.

[LONDONER]

Haha, love it!

It reminds me of a conversation I had once.

I worked in the headquarters of an Army unit and we were holding our monthly promotion board. All the eligible and recommended Soldiers are in their dress uniforms and sit before a panel to answer questions on a vast number of military related subjects. I routinely inspected their uniforms to ensure there were no mistakes. As I looked over the ribbons of one female soldier I commented, "impressive rack" (the set of awards on the chest are called a rack of ribbons). She gave me an astonished look and then a wry smile. Being in an organization that was quick to discipline sexual harassment I profusely apologized and explained myself as best as I could.

So embarrassing!!!

That's the problems with modern terminology. Some quite innocent words in the English language have been appropriated and now mean something completely different. "Gay" used to mean "happy" but no one uses it in that context any more.

[CellarDweller]

lmao!! Great post!

[shyl4l]

I read these out to a friend who told me about a west indies vs england cricket match in th 70s where the comentator said the batters holding the bowlers willie.
The batter being mike holding and the bowler being peter willie