Grief

[tiff2600]

Hey guys

So i have been quiet recently becuase i lost my nan on Wednesday. I know it's somethng that everyone goes through but i don't really have any feelings. I'm just numb. I think i'm feeling so many emotions that i don't feel one particular one and thus just feel numb. I'm sad that she has gone and i'm happy that she is not going to be in and out of hospital any more, scared because of the mounting funeral costs. I don't know, it's the first time i've experienced loss so kind of all over the place.

Any way i didn't want sympathy or attention or anything just wanted to give people a place to vent if they are going through the same or offer up their experience if they went through the same.

Much Love

xx Tiff xx

[Darius]

I'm sorry about your Grandmother, Tiff. It doesn't matter that our grandparents are old or sick at the time of death, it's still a loss, they are no longer in our world. How you are feeling is normal, don't compare your grieving to anyone elses. Let us know how it goes the next few days.

[IanSaysHi]

Sorry to read this. Two days ago we were told my Nan had a bad chest infection and they warned us to brace ourselves for bad news, then my Mum went to see her today and she was as bright as a button. I just can't wait till April when I go home so I can see her.

Grief is something I can only imagine as I only ever experienced loss in the family when I was very young. As with most life events like this I guess time is a healer so just take each day as it comes. X

[thawoods]

it's hard to lose someone who was of so much value to you x

[Meebs]

Very sorry about your loss

[Insertnamehere]

Sorry for yout loss man.

Losses are always different for everyone and the situations are always different. So it's quite normal if you feel numb about it.

I should know, all my grandparents are quite dead and they all went differently. I felt differently about all of their deaths too.

My p. grandfather I never knew and only found out later that he was a pretty horrible person. Considering both those facts it's as if he never existed.

My m. grandmother died of cancer back in 2001. That was a heavy blow for all of us. She took care of me when I was very little and mom and dad had to work, so I was very close to her. I felt her loss. It didn't help that up to the last day she was in pain. I saw her last 2 days before she died and the sight of that will never leave my head, I'm afraid. Then again I was 13 and still a kid.

My p. grandmother died in 2013, she was 84 and died during a surgery complication. We knew the risks of the surgery at her age, so really it was nothing unexpected. It was sad but a little "meh" if you know what I mean. It was just...expected, so there was no particular grief from me at least about that.

Lastly, my m. grandfather. Oh boy this guy had SOME fire in him. He died January 2015, at age 97, simply of old age. He went sleeping. We were all preparing for that for a decade or so and it just never seemed to happen. At 94 he would still go out and walk as if nothing hampered him. But finally his time came. There was no grief here either, from any of us, because of that. Out of all he had the most peaceful death and he was never without family around him, especially the last years, so it wasn't hard for me to lose him.

Well, there you go, those are my experiences at least.

[LJay]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

Grandmothers are a very special breed of saints.

[CellarDweller]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

[ceez]

I'm sorry for your loss, take your time healing and surround yourself with people that love you.

[Cridders88]

I am sorry for your loss Tiff

All of my grandparents died when I was fairly young (mostly in my early teens). My Mum's mum died in 1985, before I was born, my Dad's Mum and Dad in 2002 (nan aged 71, grandad 77), and my Mum's Dad in 2005 (aged 80) Their deaths hit me hard, especially my Mum's Dad, who I was a lot closer to (he would usually be the one to look after my brother and me when my parents were at work). However, I as I was still fairly young and not emotionally mature yet, my grief was different to what it would be if they died now. I do still miss them dearly of course, but as a kid I think I moved on quicker than I would've done now. And, their deaths were expected, aside from my Dad's Mum, so it kind of made the grieving process a little easier, for want of a better word.

Since, I have had two friends die, one in particular was very close to me. The closest friend, in June 2008 (aged 20) and the other friend in October 2015 (aged 32). Both of their deaths hit me really hard, because they were both completely unexpected, and my friend that died in 2008, the coroner ruled the cause of death as unknown. We couldn't have a funeral for her until 6 months after she died as they investigated her death and could find no reason for it. That made it infinitely tougher, as her death seemed so... pointless, again, for want of a better word. As I was more emotionally mature and both of my friends died young and unexpectedly, their deaths hit me even harder than my Grandparents did. Time has eased the pain, of course it is not as raw now as it once was, but I don't think I will over be fully healed over either of them, you learn to live with it, you have to move on.

It is funny how circumstances can make you react to death of people close to you in different ways. Again, I am sorry for your loss Tiff, and I hope things become easier in time.