Grief

[thawoods]

You know what guys, the grief i felt for the loss of my Nan was so terrible that i bled my fuckin' nose while I was weeping for her, that was circa 2003, it was a terrible nosebleed that left a big stain on my bed. x

[tiff2600]

Sorry for yout loss man.

Losses are always different for everyone and the situations are always different. So it's quite normal if you feel numb about it.

I should know, all my grandparents are quite dead and they all went differently. I felt differently about all of their deaths too.

My p. grandfather I never knew and only found out later that he was a pretty horrible person. Considering both those facts it's as if he never existed.

My m. grandmother died of cancer back in 2001. That was a heavy blow for all of us. She took care of me when I was very little and mom and dad had to work, so I was very close to her. I felt her loss. It didn't help that up to the last day she was in pain. I saw her last 2 days before she died and the sight of that will never leave my head, I'm afraid. Then again I was 13 and still a kid.

My p. grandmother died in 2013, she was 84 and died during a surgery complication. We knew the risks of the surgery at her age, so really it was nothing unexpected. It was sad but a little "meh" if you know what I mean. It was just...expected, so there was no particular grief from me at least about that.

Lastly, my m. grandfather. Oh boy this guy had SOME fire in him. He died January 2015, at age 97, simply of old age. He went sleeping. We were all preparing for that for a decade or so and it just never seemed to happen. At 94 he would still go out and walk as if nothing hampered him. But finally his time came. There was no grief here either, from any of us, because of that. Out of all he had the most peaceful death and he was never without family around him, especially the last years, so it wasn't hard for me to lose him.

Well, there you go, those are my experiences at least.

thank you for your kind words. I think i had a mixture of these. It was expected and she was old. She did everything that she wanted to do. She travelled all over Europe, went on crusies, travelled to Australlia, Canada, she had 3 children, 3 brothers and sisters. She lived and she lived hard and it annoys me that i have accomplished so little compared to her but those memories of all the amazing things she has done lives on. Again thank you for the kind workds

[tiff2600]

I am sorry for your loss Tiff

All of my grandparents died when I was fairly young (mostly in my early teens). My Mum's mum died in 1985, before I was born, my Dad's Mum and Dad in 2002 (nan aged 71, grandad 77), and my Mum's Dad in 2005 (aged 80) Their deaths hit me hard, especially my Mum's Dad, who I was a lot closer to (he would usually be the one to look after my brother and me when my parents were at work). However, I as I was still fairly young and not emotionally mature yet, my grief was different to what it would be if they died now. I do still miss them dearly of course, but as a kid I think I moved on quicker than I would've done now. And, their deaths were expected, aside from my Dad's Mum, so it kind of made the grieving process a little easier, for want of a better word.

Since, I have had two friends die, one in particular was very close to me. The closest friend, in June 2008 (aged 20) and the other friend in October 2015 (aged 32). Both of their deaths hit me really hard, because they were both completely unexpected, and my friend that died in 2008, the coroner ruled the cause of death as unknown. We couldn't have a funeral for her until 6 months after she died as they investigated her death and could find no reason for it. That made it infinitely tougher, as her death seemed so... pointless, again, for want of a better word. As I was more emotionally mature and both of my friends died young and unexpectedly, their deaths hit me even harder than my Grandparents did. Time has eased the pain, of course it is not as raw now as it once was, but I don't think I will over be fully healed over either of them, you learn to live with it, you have to move on.

It is funny how circumstances can make you react to death of people close to you in different ways. Again, I am sorry for your loss Tiff, and I hope things become easier in time.

Hey, thank you for you kind words. I think being older has made things easier becuase i know the circumstances and was aware that she wasn't in any pain and went quite peacefully. She just didn't wake up one day. But the coronor is involved here as well which is my biggest worry becuase i think once the funeral is done i can have some closure. That is gonna be a tough day :/ just feel like i'm in limbo atm

[tiff2600]

hey guys, thank you everyone for your kind words. Work has been really good and given me nearly a week off so i have had time to prep everything, clear out her old room in the home etc. Doing normal things is really helping but i feel my emotions are heightened making my decision making hard but apart from that and finding it hard to speak and smile at things i am alright. Sleeping alright which is a big bonus but hardly eating which im worried about. Just no hungry at the moment. Hopefully i can get back into a normal routine as of monday as i'll be back at work etc. Thanks again for all the kind words guys. Means a lot

[Cridders88]

hey guys, thank you everyone for your kind words. Work has been really good and given me nearly a week off so i have had time to prep everything, clear out her old room in the home etc. Doing normal things is really helping but i feel my emotions are heightened making my decision making hard but apart from that and finding it hard to speak and smile at things i am alright. Sleeping alright which is a big bonus but hardly eating which im worried about. Just no hungry at the moment. Hopefully i can get back into a normal routine as of monday as i'll be back at work etc. Thanks again for all the kind words guys. Means a lot

Glad your employer has been understanding and given you the time off . Grief can do strange things including altering your appetite, so try not to worry, that is perfectly normal. Take all the time you need to deal with this, it's a good thing you are sleeping well, so that will help