Outed

[EastTennessee]

I live in a rural small town in east tennessee. years ago I was outed by a fling...I find myself being paranoid with people. do they know,what have they heard,do they joke about me...etc. I am miserable,and am looking for advice on how to deal with this. I know people have probably heard,but its whats happening in my mind that is killing me. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Vin]

That must really be a difficult situation because of where you live. Not to make assumptions, but I'm guessing there are a lot of very conservative people in your town and maybe that's the source of the fear. I would say to a certain extent, you should try your best to let the talk, or possibility of talk roll off your back. I know it's easier said than done.

My really only other suggestion would be to move (although I'm not sure exactly your situation), so I know that might also not be a viable option. Or at least try to find a support system, either there or online. I went to a conservative, religious high school and I was always paranoid about my sexuality, so I was able to express myself more online and form some support groups because of it.

I hope you can eventually find some peace with everything. I'm sure some other forum members will be able to come in with some better advice too, maybe ones that can identify with the situation more. Since it's your first post, welcome to the forum by the way!

[EastTennessee]

Thanks for your reply. just today I signed up for this site to try and deal with my situation. Where I live homosexuality is really the only "sin". everyone knows everyone or at least their cousin. I know some know that I have at least slept with a guy,and whenever anything "gay" is mentioned I inwardly go into panic mode.
I know I shouldn't care,but where I am you have to. OR,maybe thats just my fear,one with which I am sick of. Some of my friends and family know about me,that's o.k. I guess it's the living in others minds that is killing me...Is there a way to stop caring about if/what others know/think about me? I am tired,so tired of this.

[VirgoMasquerade]

Your stuck in your head man, If someone gives you shit on it tell them "why do you care with who i sleep with?" you dont go around about what billy or sandy is fucking so fuck them man. Just get out of your head and breath. Also Hey! Nashville in the house

[Cridders88]

Thanks for your reply. just today I signed up for this site to try and deal with my situation. Where I live homosexuality is really the only "sin". everyone knows everyone or at least their cousin. I know some know that I have at least slept with a guy,and whenever anything "gay" is mentioned I inwardly go into panic mode.
I know I shouldn't care,but where I am you have to. OR,maybe thats just my fear,one with which I am sick of. Some of my friends and family know about me,that's o.k. I guess it's the living in others minds that is killing me...Is there a way to stop caring about if/what others know/think about me? I am tired,so tired of this.

Some of your friends and family know about you. You may not realise it, but that is a huge step in your journey to being comfortable with who you are. You are ok with them knowing, so you have shown that you are ok being open to the people closer to you. As for the others, people in the street, do they really matter? I think it will get to a point where eventually it will become too exhausting to actually give a damn about what these people think. Life is too short to be worried about what people who aren't important think of you. I do hope you reach that way of thinking soon, I think it will come

Welcome to the forum btw, I hope you find some answers and comfort here x

[LJay]

Welcome here. At the very least, this is a place where you can talk about the things that you are going through. Feel free to be who you are here. It helps, believe me.

[EastTennessee]

Hello England and Nashville, Consider that I live with people that think "gay" equates to child molester,or have sex with anyone anytime anywhere. I know that this is about my own thinking....but.....my thinking needs changed.
Im living in redneck,atv,why don't you like to hunt territory..and I work in a factory! Gay is not good here.
I'm considering moving. but,there is a part of me that wants to tell everyone...hey,gay people are not monsters. IDK.
Hey Nashville,I lived there for 10 years. - yeh,it was better then.

[EastTennessee]

I lived in Nashville in the 90s- is "ynonahs still there?

[EastTennessee]

It's not the people on the street that I'm worried with...it's the people I have to work with in a gossipy,backbiting factory.

[Pix]

It's not the people on the street that I'm worried with...it's the people I have to work with in a gossipy,backbiting factory.

In that case, aren't you doomed to that anyway? That is, if it's not you being gay then it would be something else, and they'd invent something if they had to.