Outed

[EastTennessee]

I had never thought of it that way...you are right. I hear people say stuff about others all the time,but if I like a person,I like a person,regardless of what others say. People like and respect me,and I'm naturally that way toward them. The stigma here from being gay is so bad..but,you have given me a good line of thought. I have wondered if the people that are friendly with me haven't heard the gossip,and I kind of cringe inside...but being in the place I work for more than a few days means someone has laid everyone out,so,they don't care or they know the shit talkers are shit talkers. thanks for the input. You are so right...and have put a new line of thinking in my head,which I came here looking for......ty.

[Sylph]

I Sincerely hope that you can find solace and peace in whichever way you choose to handle your situation;

But even just reading that made me exhausted. I used to feel the same way; and I'm from a very small island, grew up in culture that's as we all know pretty homophobic;

But I got a thick skin pretty early and yes have been verbally and on maybe 3 occasions physically been confronted(that actually resulted in a fight) because I'm gay;

But I don't take shit very well and don't give out fucks either, so at the end of the day my only advice is;

"You be you, as long as they don't touch you, it doesn't matter".

Words are just words. Trust me, I study languages lol, it's the purpose and meanings you give to words, that give them power.

You'll sort it hopefully in your own time, but in the mean time; do realize you aren't alone and that while yes it's tough and none of us bar Virgo lives in TN so don't know exactly what you're going through; you do got an ear or several to listen to ya if ya so need and are willing to hear the resounding advice.

Take care, dear!

[EastTennessee]

Thanks to you guys....I'm a " manly man",,,,had my ass kicked,kicked some ass. It's about "what I think" about what they are thinking and saying about me.

[EastTennessee]

That is right. thank you

[Insertnamehere]

You can do one of 2 things:

1) Remove yourself from this environment towards another better suited to accept your sexuality

2) Learn to live with small town life, i.e everybody knowing everybody's business. Unless you're not in danger by your sorroundings, this is a valid choice.

How to do that? Depends on the person. Some find it easier not to give a fuck about anybody else.

I would suggest you focus on your activites and life and ignore eveyrthing else.

[matty7]

You may not want to hear this statement right now but why not put a positive spin on it if it will help with your obvious upset - At least people know you are gay now...no need to go through the coming out process which can be very traumatic for some people , its out in the open and that in itself can be like taking the lid of a pressure cooker for some , we have countless threads on here about how to come out to conservative family or friends because they are scared to reveal they are gay - Hope things work out for you though

[LJay]

Being closeted is bad enough, but being in a pressure cooker of small town gossip may be worse. There is the possibility that this will affect your chances for promotion at work, and it is nearly impossible to imagine the dozens and dozens of ways it could influence you daily life outside work.

I would consider moving. You will probably not find a perfect situation elsewhere but you may find a much more fair-minded workplace and a more accepting living environment. Attitudes are changing. There is no reason you must tolerate close mindedness.